Thirty little fingers and toes!

Happy New Year! 2011 in review

2012-01-07T23:15:00.000-05:00

Better late than never, but Happy New Year!

Todd and I had a low key new years eve. We did take the kids to Monkey Joes which is a bounce house place for kids in Castleton. They were quite unsure of what to do in there. There are 2 bounce houses that are for kids 3 years old and younger. It took Grey a few minutes to get used to the bounce house that we were in, and since he was on his first day of antibiotic ear drops because he has an ear infection, I think it was loud in there for him too.

Owen was less adventurous than I thought he would be. He stayed pretty close to us, and just sat back and watched people and bounced a bit.

Lilly was the social butterfly, pointing and crawling over to random children. Grey actually really got into it once he got used to it. We had to take him out of there kicking and screaming literally. He did not want to leave. After that, we went to a Mexican restaurant in Castleton, and it was so nice to be able to take them, and not feel like they were spinning out of control. They ate really well, they were pretty well behaved... and Todd and I actually got a few bites in between cutting stuff, and fetching sippy cups. It was a good evening. We went to bed a little after midnight... and that was that! This is them on an alligator in the bounce house! I had muscles that hurt Jan 1 that I forgot I had!

I wanted to review 2011 in writing. A year of triplet toddlers is a challenge, however I don't think until you see it in writing do you realize how much of a challenge it really is. I know there are those that would like to see us more, and without a doubt, I'd like to make it up to Kendallville in N. Indiana at some point soon. I have come to understand that you won't please everyone, and you have to go about life as you live it, and ultimately do what you have to do. I'm attempting that. This is long, so read it if you see fit. You will have to correct the typos yourself, cause after writing this, I won't want to reread it for a while.

January 2011.
Grey still had his NG tube in his nose, so that was taken out every week and we were still trying to bottle feed a little bit. He then had to be retaped frequently, as he was getting pretty darn crafty at taking his tube out. That was usually done on Sundays so he could have his face tape free for most of the day, and we could get lotion on it. It got pretty chapped, and often times a little bloody from being dry, and the adhesive remover and adhesive that was on it constantly. Grey was still getting feedings via pump every 3 hours. (I don't miss that pump! OR that tube for that matter) That month Grey had 5 doctor appointments, a swallow study, 2 sets of labs, and xray to look at his bowels in preparation for a g tube, I had a dentist appointment, I had bronchitis, and between Lilly and Grey, they had 15 hour long therapy appointments in January. They also all got their RSV vaccines on the 14th, which would lead to 3 days of grumpy babies. That was monthly from Oct 2010-April 2011. Grey was still on 12 medications; one dose of something every 4 hours. This picture was January of 2011.... Wow, we've done a lot of growing!

February the basement was started. That lasted all month. We had an ice dam on our roof, which led to a new ceiling in our great room, dry wall asphyxiation, which resulted into a week in Muncie with everyone and the dogs. We also lost power, and spent a night in a hotel. i had my 33rd birthday. Grey got labs once, 14 therapy appointments amongst all of them. Jasmine also had to go to the vet 3x for a UTI. Grey was still getting feedings every 3 hour for 1 hour via pump. He still had his NG tube. Mom and I cleaned our house from top to bottom in preparation for everyone to come back after the drywall mess. Todd took 2 business trips because he started a new job this month too.

March was an ugly month for ear infections. Every week we were at the doctor for someone having an ear infection. The basement was finished. Grey had a study to look at his bowels in preparation for his gtube, which he had surgery on March 19th. He was in the hospital for a few days there. I also got an ear infection, and Todd got a nasty cold too. Grey had 5 doctor appointments, and 8 therapy appointments.

April resulted in a lot of hospitalizations for Grey. We were battling what we now know as reflux, he was vomiting and getting dehydrated. 3x this month we were in atleast overnight with Grey. He then ended up doing continuous feedings, and had his NJ tube placed. This tube was a royal pain. It went into his nose, down to his stomach thru that, into his small intestine. That tube could not be taken out at all. It had to be placed under xray by a doctor, and if it moved even an inch, he'd have to go back to the ER, and it'd again have to be placed by a doctor via xray. This was because we fed him into his small intestine, and when you feed through the intestine it has to be in the right place, or he would reflux and vomit. The feedings had to be continuous because the intestine is not flexible enough to have a large bolus of feedings placed into it. Grey was on feedings for 18 hours a day. Todd also had a week long business trip. 2 MD appointments, and 9 therapy appointments. April also resulted in ear infections for Owen and Grey in different weeks.

May, Grey had another surgery and had his NJ tube discontinued. He had his GJ button placed, and this had to be replaced twice this month, once each week until the last week of the month. This was a procedure that required anesthesia etc. Todd had his 34th Bday. 2 nights in the hospital for Grey being dehydrated with his tube not working well. He also had an ENT appointment. Grey then got tubes in his ears the last week of May. Grey also had an MRI of his brain. So 5 rounds of anesthesia for Grey in May. 7 therapy appointments. Todd also had a week long business trip. Still doing 18 hours of feedings, via feeding pump. He also got his "baby" this month. This was his GJ button that was vented to a diaper because he had so much nasal drainage related to his ear infections in April and May. This diaper was wrapped up and placed in his onsie! lol

June was their 1st Birthday, and their 1st hair cut! I had a business trip the second week to Ohio. Their birthday party was on the 26th. Grey had 3 doctor appointments this month, and 12 therapy appointments. Grey was cleared from the metabolic specialist this month, and he had 3 sets of labs to follow up on this. He was continuing to get feedings for 18 hours a day via pump. Lilly and Owen saw the eye doctor along with Grey. Owen again had an ear infection the last week of June.

July I had a business trip to Virginia. I was starting to have hernia issues, and pain when lifting the kids. (I was wishing it would just go away) I went to see the surgeon and had a CT scan for the first time. Grey had a gastric emptying study and an upper GI procedure. We later found out that Grey was just wanting attention in the middle of the night. This was the beginning of the end of Grey as a roomie with Todd and I. Lillian was released from occupational therapy! YAY. Only 7 therapy appointments this month. Lilly had an ear infection, and Grey also got a post op ear infection. Both had 2 rounds of antibiotics. 6 doctor appointments They also got their 1 year shots! THAT was fun! Grey was still being fed via pump 18 hours a day. Becca also left us! I hurt my back, and ended up in the ER. 2 days off work and flat on my back for that! ;(

August- Ashley our new sitter started. I had a colonoscopy. Grey was in the ER for his feeding tube possibly acting up. Ended up, reflux. Owen had another ear infection, there was a NICU picnic. I went to Chicago for a bachelorette party! YAY!!! Becca had a shower for what is now Leah! Todd had his summerfest trip to KS City. Lillian had a nasty cold that lasted for 3 weeks with diarrhea. 7 md appts, 8 therapy appointments. Grey started seeing a therapist for feeding stuff as well.

September.
Grey had his feeding tube replaced urgently Labor Day weekend. By this time St. V ER knows us by name :). 8 therapy appointments. Grey had his eye muscle surgery. We had window estimates all month, and our carpet cleaned through-out. We saw Grey's liver doctor, and developmental peds doc... Dr. Brei. Dr. Brei told us Grey would take a little while to eat. Still getting 18 hour feeds via pump... that will start to slowly decrease. I had my surgery on the 26th, and came home Oct 1st. I was then off for 4 weeks. sheww... Glad that is over! All 3 had a bad cold that infected everyone that came into our house right before both Grey and I had surgery. Feedings for Grey were give all night, and 3 hours during the day via pump. If his feeding tube comes out, I have 10 minutes to get a catheter in the hole before it closes, and 2 hours to get to the ER.

October was a month of ear infection and GI bugs for all 3. Owen had an ear infection and virus that lasted all month into November. It was a month of 12 md appointments, and 8 therapy appointments. We also added speech therapy to help with Grey's eating. He also had a swallow study, and a set of labs. We had 3 monsters for Halloween! 15 month shots were a DOOSY!!! Grey was getting feeds all night, as well as 2 hours during the day via pump. Owen is teething, and not sleeping well at all! (Molars)

November led to persisting ear infections. Owen had hives so bad for 2 weeks I was convinced he had hives or the measles! Grey had a follow up eye appointment. We had family pictures. Thanksgiving was great... Grey is now getting 8 hours of feedings at night in his tube, and one hour in his tube during the day. We added a dietitian to the mix of appointments. I had a cavity filled... I felt pretty recovered from my hernia surgery at this time. 7 therapy appointments. Owen is teething and up many, many nights. (Canines)

December things are looking up! Grey is done with his feeding tube as a trial. Grey then pulls his feeding tube out to seal the deal... Jasmine went to the vet for UTIx1. I had 2 meetings for therapy for next year. Grey had 2 appointments with doctors. He is now taking everything by mouth! GOOD THING, cause he no longer has a feeding tube. We hosted our family Christmas here on the 17th! Grey ended the year with another ear infection.

Wow, that is tiring just typing it. I am glad that I kept all of this in my pocket calendar. It will help me when I look back and wonder where the year has gone. I have high hopes for 2012. Grey has no feeding tube. I am hoping that the illnesses subside with the ears! We have 3 walking little munchkins, and slowly the therapies are going away. They will start preschool in August 2 days a week. I look forward to seeing them grow and mature.

Cheers to a wonderful 2012!

2011 is almost gone....

2011-12-30T20:49:00.000-05:00

Wow, Merry Christmas I haven't posted since then. The kids got a lot of toys, all of which they have really enjoyed. We got them a Step2 playhouse. They like going in and out, and putting their heads out the windows. My family Christmas was December 17th, and then Todd's parents come over on Christmas Eve and stay the night, and we do Christmas morning then. We didn't even finish wrapping everything this year. The kids didn't know the difference. They did enjoy unwrapping presents, however crawling on the boxes was the most fun this year. It was an excellent Christmas. Couldn't have asked for anything better with either family. We had a good time with everyone!

We can officially say that we have 3 walkers before ringing in 2012!!!!!! I cannot tell you how happy this makes me! Grey is walking about 60% of the time, and Lilly about 90% of the time. Most importantly they are walking. Lilly rarely falls. That was her plan all along. Grey face plants, and then just gets up in the middle of the floor to try again. Of course we praise them so much when they are walking, and Owen is left standing in the middle of the room... looking at me like... "Seriously, I have done this since July!". I then praise him, and he runs away giggling.

I cannot express how happy I am with these kids. I look at them each day and after I am done running in circles, I thank GOD that I have them, and thank GOD I have my husband. I don't tell him enough, but every day life is nearly impossible without him here. For the first time in my life, I can look at my surroundings, and although it may be chaotic, I love my life. I really do. I have everything I ever wanted. I have a wonderful family both immediate, and extended. I have a great job, great people surrounding us day in and day out. I will also have to remind myself of this and reread this frequently! LOL!This is Todd and Owen napping together, something that RARELY happens.

New Years will bring a healthier me. I am sticking to my diet for sure, and Todd said he would help with that as well. Todd and I plan on going away some time likely for our 10th anniversary alone. Todd wants to go to Turks and Caicos... but I am just not sure that I want to go that far. I want to start exercising again, hoping my mesh abdomen has the same aspirations.

One of the triplet moms in our group (that has quads) has an excellent blog. She recently wrote a post that struck me, and I know a lot of my friends feel the same way. I struggle with guilt, working, having others take care of them during the days, worrying too much about how they are coming along developmentally, how we compare to what we should be doing at this age etc. I worry about wishing their lives away, as it has gotten much easier as the months tick by. I don't miss the baby stage, it was too chaotic... but I do have those guilty feelings that creep in. This is an excellent post. If you get a chance, read it. Here's the link. I also want to work on this too.

We have no plans on New Years Eve. A quiet night hopefully here. I noticed tonight that Grey had some purulent drainage coming out of his left ear, which makes sense as he has been very grumpy at night. He has no fever, and no cold symptoms... so saying little prayers that the other two remain healthy! We'll start ear drops tonight, hopefully it will nip it!

I think that's it...Happy New Year everyone!

Cheers to 2012!

O' Christmas Tree

2011-12-23T22:52:00.014-05:00

I didn't have an opportunity to do a post last year of our Christmas decorations... but here it is this year. This is a very typical picture of around our house. The tree shaking in it's stand because there is a toddler pointing at it! Funny Grey's physical therapist came in the door the week we put it up and asked what the tree did to be caged in as such.... It's a beautiful, fake, 10ft tree. I love to see it all lit up, but this year as Todd put it, "That thing can't come down fast enough". We are very thankful it hasn't been toppled over yet!

This was an ornament my mom got me in 2002 right after we got married. This we bought in Hawaii on our honeymooon.

This is an ornament that a pharmacist from the NICU gave to us last year before Grey was discharged from the hospital. It is very dear to us.

This is from Jamie, a very close friend to Todd's late brother Travis, and still to the Maurer family! Jamie went to Notre Dame, and still lives near by. She and her mother prayed there frequently for Grey when he was sick. It's a priceless piece.

This I believe Todd got in 2006 when we bought this house. This likely signifies the chaos I put him through by having the whole house painted on the inside twice because I didn't like the first color. He has such patience with me!

This I bought I believe at Potterybarn in 2008, acorns signify fertility... this was just as we were beginning to dealve into it all!

This was a 2009 ornament along with the bird below. We took one last trip to Gatlinburg, TN before we did our final IVF in December 2009. We went home from that trip with peace that whatever this IVF would bring was what it was meant to be.... JACKPOT!

These are our animal ornaments... Hendrix

Jasmine

RIP Happy kitty. This is Owen's first ornament. Very fitting that it's somethign similar to a sock!

This is Lillian's.

This is Grey's first Christmas ornament.

These I thought were so fitting. I found them at Target last year.

This is outside our house. It was too cold to go out and get a shot from the front. Funny there is 3 penguins pulling the sleigh. I love the big polar bear too. That is my favorite animal. This is our foyer. We added a foyer pre-lit tree this year. It makes our house look a little more festive, since lights outside haven't been a huge priority the past few years!

There are so many more ornaments that mean a lot to us both. I'll maybe be able to do this again next year! lol

Where to begin??

2011-12-23T21:58:00.003-05:00

Seriously, I always think that each month has a lot of milestones, but this last month has been spectacular.

Where to start?

Well, we have the some great updates for the kids.

Grey has NO FEEDING TUBE. He pulled out his feeding tube on Dec 20th (this Tuesday) and it is no where to be found. I don't know if he hid it, a dog ate it, it's in the tree... we have yet to find it. He is on an antibiotic, the site looked infected at first, but has since closed up, and looks absolutely wonderful. He is taking his antibiotic much better than I expected, as it normally would go down his tube just to make life easier. It has been about a month since we had used the feeding tube anyway, Dr. Maisel told me to tell him congrats, and keep eating! He loves to eat, and will try almost anything. Currently his favorite things are: Greek God's Yogurt (strawberry honey), mac n cheese, whole milk with whipped cream, grandma's ranch oyster crackers, grape-mango- peach Welch's juice, pop-tarts of any kind, gerber ravioli, gerber mystery meat (it's what I call it, if you have seen the jars, you know what I mean) he loves salmon, pudding, oatmeal, scrambled eggs made in the microwave, grilled cheese... the list goes on and on and on. The kid loves to eat. The last time the dietitian was here she said he has lost some weight despite taking in sufficient amount of calories. Since he has a shorter small intestine than he should have, absorption of nutrients remains a little less than it should be. Therefore, I talked to the doctor she thought we should increase his calories by about 100-200. We have tried that. I think his weight has remained the same. We will find out on the 27th. Grey is almost walking. He very routinely takes 5-10 steps and he is determined to walk. It could be even by the beginning of the year. He will be proficient soon. He is currently 21lbs and 30.5 inches. He is wearing mostly 18 month clothes, but 12 month pants still (his waist and legs are small). The doctor and dietitian said that his growth was super, and nothing to worry about.

Grey likes to play by himself a lot. You can find him off playing with his ball popper that he got for his first birthday, or trying to walk, or climbing on the furniture. Grey is what I would call the most mischievous one of the 3. He is the one that figures out how to open the gates etc. He just recently figured out how to get into the gated tree area, and lifted the gate so that Lilly and Owen could also breech the perimeter. He is a stinker. Grey is getting his molars now, so a bit grumpy the past few days. I could not be more happy with Grey and his progress. One year ago, I would have never thought this little man would be where he is. The kid is a true miracle.

Owen is changing daily. He is the true definition of toddler. He does not want to be fed, and will refuse to eat if you think you are going to literally feed him. He wants to feed himself, and is picky at times. The old stand-by meal is grilled cheese. He likes to snack, but if you put it on a spoon in hopes to feed him... FORGET IT! We have had some sleeping issues with him in the past few months, perhaps it's because he has a full set of teeth now. His room was a bit chilly, but we just got new windows in the majority of the house... this has helped. It has also helped the noise in his room... that might have been a reason for his sleeplessness too. He is running all over. He LOVES to clean. If there is anything that resembles a rag, or washcloth, he is running it across any surface that he has seen cleaned. He likes to run his toy vacuum. Owen loves his shoes and socks, or anyone's shoes and socks for that matter. He is still pointed and making noises when you ask him where objects are, not really talking yet. He absolutely LOVES his father. When Todd walks into the room, he lights up. He has gotten a few toys this Christmas so far, and he loves to push around his toy truck and car he got. Owen can be heard growling alot..... hopefully that will subside when he decides to talk!

Lillian, oh, my Lillian. Lilly is WALKING! Yes, walking. I have had her looked at by every therapist that has come into our house. They all say she is just "cautious, and has the skills to walk if she wants to". URGH! She prefers to bear crawl, or walk on her knees, but just these past 2 weeks or so she is walking a lot more. She has been walking through rooms, and back and forth, rather than on her knees. She is the screamer. If she doesn't like what is going on, she will shriek like no other. She currently is wanting to be rocked to sleep at night... and we are trying to break that habit. She is a stubborn little sister... but, she is a true momma's girl. She is trying to talk, and if you sound out things for her, she will repeat it... like T-T-T tree... she will do the T-T-T. She is doing much better with the shape sorters, and is the first to point to everyone's belly button whether it is solicited or not. She was the first to realize that Grey's feeding tube was not there... wondering if he had help with that... hmmmmm

We got family pictures taken, and Lillian was the ham. Owen wanted to run around and chew on sticks, and Grey was teething... he cried the whole time.

They also went to see santa, and I'll see if I can scan that picture... it's hilarious. Grey is screaming, and Lilly and Owen look scared out of their mind!

We have changed around the house a bit. We have new gates up, and Owen is the first to test them to see if they truly closed. If not, he escapes very quickly with 2 others following right behind.

I am really looking forward to this Christmas, it's so much different than last. I will try to post a little more, as I got a new lap-top from Todd for Xmas!

http://www.jamiesangarblog.com/index.cfm?postID=927 Here is the post to Jamie Sangar's blog that has our pics and a slide show is you want to visit it.

This picture is priceless.... All 3 in the tub, obviously before Grey pulled his feeding tube button out!

This day, 365 days ago..... our family was all home.

2011-11-19T23:04:00.007-05:00

What a difference a year makes.

Today was the day of Grey's NICU discharge. 157 days is a very long time. Grey came home to us on an apnea monitor, an NG in his nose for feedings... and a scared little boy that had only been out of the NICU once since birth, and that was to go to the main hospital for a scan to look at his liver more closely. He didn't have very wide horizons yet. Grey came home a jaundice, yellow little boy. He barely took anything by mouth, drank about half an ounce twice a day; the rest was put down his tube for nourishment. As far as activity when Grey came home, he mainly just lifted his arms off the bed to look at his hands. He mainly looked at his right hand, but occasionally his left. He didn't yet lift his head, nor did he really try. He has just gotten off of oxygen a week before discharge, and didn't ever require it again.

We knew when Grey came home that our lives would change from the routine we had been doing. We knew it would definitely be an adjustment for him as well. Afterall, he'd not been in a car, not been in a different bed besides his isolette, only been outside once, and he had never seen our house, dogs, and hadn't smelled or heard the things that he would come to later know. We had a lot of work ahead of us, and so did he. Grey was used to his own little room, his own environment, and his own ways.... and now, he was part of our ways, our life and our environment. He adjusted slowly to all of this.

He slowly had to learn that he wasn't the only baby in the house. I think though, he adjusted better than I thought he would. At first, he needed darkness, silence, and tightly tucked blankets to make him feel like he was safe. I remember at our Christmas gathering with my side of the family the week before Christmas Todd spent the whole time up in our room rocking him, and keeping him in a low stimulation environment. We had him in therapy 3x a week that either Todd or I had to take him back to the hospital to complete. He didn't do well with going out of the house to therapy. We then consulted First Steps of Indiana which allows therapists to come to the house, and that has been a GOD send to us! Wonderful therapists, and so much easier on all of us. I remember the evaluation for First Steps with the therapists that come to the house to check out if they qualify, how developmentally they are, and what therapy they would benefit from. The therapist said to me, "He has a long way to go to catch up to where he should be. Kids like this just don't bounce back quickly. You will have to be patient with him." I remember going back upstairs to my office that day and being tearful for what Grey had already had to endure, and how it was always him that had to work harder, and do more. He recently was re-evaluated for his yearly evaluation for First Steps. The therapist that said that to me came again, and instead of bringing her toddler toys in to the house to evaluate Grey, she brought her baby toys as she remembered him from the January 2011 evaluation. The look on her face when she saw him trying to take steps, pulling himself up, and crawling up the stairs as fast as he could was simply priceless. I truly doubt that she remembers what she said to me, and I am more than sure it was no way maliciously stated.... but I said to her back, "He might be the exception to the rule, but he did bounce back quickly, and he is definitely not far from where he should be." She looked over at me and said, " I am simply amazed at how well this little guy is doing, I should have brought in my toddler toys."

With that, I will end this post.... but I again want to thank St. Vincent Woman's NICU staff, doctors, therapists, etc. Special thanks to Becca, Erin, Brooke, Cathy, Laura, Shelly, Lindsey, and Alex for keeping Grey alive, and me sane. Also, I cannot even name all of the doctors that took care of Grey, but namely Drs. Bensaad, Tauscher, D, Simon, Hendrickson, Kokaska, Maisel, Roberts and so many others.

This is Grey's last picture in his crib in the NICU

Grey's first picture at home. Notice the apnea monitor cords, his NG, yellow skin, and his 0-3 months clothes that he is swimming in:)

Grey in a hat that I thought he needed.... I think he is wondering WHY?

This was his favorite pose. He loved his hands!

Here they all 3 were. 1 year ago today.

Wow.... what a difference a year makes!

Here is a little video of Lillian and Grey entertaining one another a few nights ago. THIS is a little boy that doesn't have too far to go to be right where he needs to be. Thanks to GOD, a lot of prayer, a lot of work, a lot of tears, and a boy with a will power that just doesn't stop!

Oct/Nov updates

2011-11-09T21:08:00.012-05:00

Here are our 3 monsters

Grey monster

Owen Monster

Lillian Monster

We have a lot going on day in, and day out here. Currently we are all sick. All but Todd. I think that is the only way we can stay sane, is having one person not blowing their nose and coughing around here constantly.

Here is our zoo outing. As you can tell, they didn't know what to think of the bats, or the lady in the glass washing the windows in the enclosure. Our wagon at the zoo attracts all sorts of people. Everyone has their comment. I have to learn to have thicker sking when it comes to that. Oddly enough the people that just say stuff as they walk by, and don't ask us about them, ticks me off more than anything. Comments about people when you know they can hear you is just rude. Test me on the right day, and I'll let you know that. I decided the zoo trip was going to be fun regardless... and I just needed to get over it. Sometimes that attitude isn't easy to have. With multiples, you know you will get the comments and stares; I acknowledge that. Some people that come out with us spiratically can just accept this, and know that it is going to happen. But day in, day out of the comments when you go somewhere starts to rub you raw. Either way, I'm working on it.

We have been on a few more trips this month. We went to the zoo, and also to the children's museum. I am convinced we got the PLAGUE from the museum. Grey insists on chewing everything. You can imagine the germs there. Chasing him with a Lysol wipe is hopeless.

We also had our 16month shots, along with the flu vaccine. That was on Halloween night. They did great that night by the way.

Owen has an ear infection, currently on antibiotics. At the check up, he was overly concerned what was going on, as he was GOING to RUN away if he had too.. and indeed he tried. He is the more sensative of the 3. He cries when Lilly cries in pain, kind of cute, but rather annoying at other times! He is still enjoying his silky blanket, and must have it at nap and bedtimes. He has become quite the picky eater. He LOVES shoes and socks. Owen is also still talking like a caveman, grunting and pointing. Dr. Riddell our peds md just laughed, and said he thought that speech would come soon. Wondering how long his ears have been bothering him. Hopefully once that is healed we will be good. Owen also likes to help our cleaning lady Angel sweep. He is literally obsessed with the sweeper attachments, and will cry and point when he wants it. He nearly has all of his teeth in now, just waiting on 2 canines. I will have to get a video of him dancing, the kid loves to dance! At 16 months he is 33 inches, and 30lbs. Dr. Riddell says... "Wow Owen, you are going to be a big boy, and that is great!"

Greybear is progressing wonderfully. He thinks he can walk. You will see him look at his destination, which is usually greater than 10 steps away, and he can only take 2 steps... so he will try to get there, and fall flat on his little melon. Usually there are no tears involved, he just tries it again. He loves to throw himself back, and twirl around in his crib and fall down. His current trick with Lillian is a fake cough and sneeze. I will have to get that on video too... it's too funny. Now that he is sick with a double ear infection, when he fake sneezes, it blows snot all over... yummy....! He is eating better than I ever could have expected him to. Even though he is sick, he is still doing great. His oral intake of fluid isn't stellar, but we are working on it. He loves to watch the neighbor dogs and our dogs out the windows of the playroom. He too dances like there is no tomorrow, and now has started the a Jersey Shore like fist pump move when there is music on that he likes. He has adjusted to his room all by himself, although his feeding pole has to be wedged under a foot stool and his crib so he doesn't pull it over, and disconnect it... He is a crafty, smart little fella! His eyes are looking better than ever, and we just had some labs drawn on him last week or so, and they looked great. A year ago now, he wasnt' even home, and as yellow as his pumpkin. He is nothing short of a little miracle. At 16 months he is 30 inches long and 22 lbs.

Here he is questioning why these birds are diving in the water....

The sealions also threw them all for a loop!

Lillian.... oh, my Lillian. She refuses to walk. Yes. Refuses. She will knee-walk, and bear-crawl. She prefers knee walking if at all possible. She has great muscle tone, great control, good stability, and posture, she just will not push herself to do it. She too is a grunter, and pointer. Lately however, she is starting to make more sounds. I hate to push them to talk, because I know I will regret it... but we need them to keep moving along! She continues to be the best eater. BUT, when she is done, she will clear her tray by wiping it, throwing it, slapping it, or pushing it all on the floor. When she is done, she is not joking, she is done. She is great at her little fake sneeze and cough. She also loves to look out at the dogs outside, and just point, and grunt! She is the biter of the pack. Don't cross her, take her toy, or get in her way... that little piranha will bite you. I had to stop her from biting a boy about 3x her size at the children's museum for a toy banana that she thought she needed. At 16 months she is 30.5 inches and 24 lbs.

I am doing fine. Have a little bout of pneumonia. Getting better each day. Surgery stuff is all healed. Looking forward to the holiday season coming up.

Todd is doing well too. Our 9th anniversary is today. Hard to believe how much our lives have changed, and how each trial and tribulation has brought us closer together even though we have our differences.

Today we went to look at preschools for the kids. We plan on in the fall starting them likely 1 day a week. We are currently looking at Holy Cross Lutheran Preschool, it is near our house, and convenient, which is a plus. We'll see, we have time to scope out some more.

We are getting new windows for the house in the next few weeks. Our house is only 7 years old, but our windows are terrible. We are hoping that will keep the kids' rooms a bit warmer this winter. Our house faces the west, we get a lot of wind coming across the field across the road.

Hmm... I think that is most of it.

This was right before their pre-lunch melt down. You can see the boys are getting a tad bit restless!

Field trips and more

2011-10-15T21:58:00.012-04:00

That last post is quite the masterpiece. You have to love IPAD editing. I'm just leaving it, it is a bit funny.

While I was in the hospital Todd and Jordan (our neighbor babysitter, we love her:)) loaded up the kids and brought them into the hospital to surprise me. When I woke up at the end of my bed, I saw three little skeletons! They had already had their bathes, and were in their pj's. This pic cracks me up, and reminds me of what a great husband I have!

Today Todd and I took the kids to the pumpkin patch at Tuttles Orchard. It's in Greenfield, and really close to our house. It was windy, and a bit chilly... but nonetheless we had a good time.

They have an apple orchard as well, today was the last day to pick from the trees. We originally went back into the orchard to get out of the wind, and to get a few pictures, and Owen decided that he needed to try a few apples.

They look like here they have never seen apples.
Here he is trying a few samples of unwashed, dirt covered apples.

We then ventured to the pumpkin patch itself. Above you see a picture of that. It was fun. On the way out we saw a big box. We took that opportunity to put the kids in it and snap some pictures.

I don't know if you can tell, but Owen is still chewing on his dirty apple. Grey is taking a few seconds out of the experience to chew on the wood. I'll have to post about the cribs.... Grey is part beaver. He has demolished his bed. Lillian just isn't sure about any of it.

We then went to Chicago Pizza in McCordsville. Going out to eat with the kids is an adventure. We end up having to give GOOD tips to clean up after us. But, they they were good while eating, and took an excellent nap after that!

Some updates on us...

Owen, is still teething. His sleeping is hit or miss. His new thing this week is carrying his toy dinosaurs around making growling sounds to Lilly and Grey, and anyone else that will listen. He is quite the runner these days, in fact when he sees you coming for him he takes off in the other direction. He has been slacking a bit on his eating. I'm assuming it's his teeth, but I think that is quite common for toddlers as well. He LOVES shoes and socks. He will bring them to you, sit down, and put his feet on your lap. Then make caveman noises so that you know, he wants it done now please! His ear infection is resolved. I cannot wait til that poor child is done getting his mouthful of teeth!

Lillian is doing better with her walking. She will now stand up without support, and is showing more interest in walking on her own. After having the therapists look at her that see Grey, we have really worked with her. They were right, her confidence is holding her back. Her new thing is taking all of her clothes off. She will then take her diaper off as well. I do not know what is wrong with this little girl. Last night, I went into her room 3 times before 10pm, and she had disrobed each of those times. The last time, I saw her little bare butt in the air as she was laying on her belly, butt in the air, "reading" a book in her crib. She is funny. She loves to fake sneeze and cough. She will continue to do it until you say "God Bless you Lilly".... and even then, will continue to do so until she deems it boring. Grey also has caught on to that fun.

Grey.... little Grey is doing fabulous. We are starting the feeding wean process. We are awaiting a dietician to help us out, but I dont' want to miss our window of opportunity to get it started. Today he ate all 3 meals, and we just hooked him up to get some extra calories and fluid over night. It is going to be difficult to keep track of what he is 1) eating 2) throwing on the floor 3) licking and putting in his mouth, and throwing 4) drinking 5) what leaks out of his cups when he throws it 5) what he is drinking, and not Lillian and Owen are drinking from his cups. All of this needs to be assessed so we know what he is taking in, and how we need to supplement his fluid intake. After researching, and talking to the doctor about doing a wean of the tube feeding, it is pretty absolute that he will lose some weight. I am not really worried about that. He will do fine with that. I just don't want him to get dehydrated. That itself, makes you feel yucky. It's going to be a weight and balance type of thing, but with the overall goal to NOT have to use the tube soon. Another thing is to try to make sure that he is getting a variety of food, with a variety of textures so that he doesn't become complacent with what he eats. This isn't as important with the other 2, but is very important with him. He is doing great with this though. He has really taken to guacamole. He loves most pastas, and will not turn down mac n cheese. The more fattening, the better for him. As you see, he can be quite the mess! He too is working on his walking. He is pushing things around wonderfully. I am hoping he and Lillian will be walking in the next month!

I am healing slowly but surely. I had my last md appt this week. He released me to return to work this coming Tuesday. I was getting "random" bruising, and pain in places that none of my 12 incisions were.. (yes 12, I feel like, I look like, a dartboard). I guess the mesh he had to put in to make sure that my abdominal muscles would stay together is 12 inches by 12 inches. So, I will NEVER have to worry about a hernia again I guess. So, he said the randomness is indeed not random, it is likely where the mesh is sutured along the muscle in various places. Make sense. I am hopeful I have NO more surgeries in my future! My abdominal binder and I have become great friends. I had some friends from the triplet mom group that brought food a few days last week, that was helpful. If they are reading... THANKS!

I cannot remember if I posted this earlier, but I was supposed to be slated to go to L.A..... Yes, California every other week until the end of the year for work... that fell through, so I no longer have to go... SHEW!!!! Very pleased with that news!

Todd has been quite the team captain around here lately. He has to be exhausted. He is carrying the weight of the household. (Minus my mom, his parents, and Ashley)All 3 bathes, an carrying these kids up and down, and all around wears on you. I told him once I am up and runnying he needs to go away for a boys weekend or something. Maybe a game or something soon. He's been great, and very supportive.

Halloween is coming. We have the kids costumes all ready to go. They are going to coordinate this year. We figured that it won't be long, they will have their own opinions... so we need to capitalize while we can! They will be 3 little monsters. No, that is no coincidence!

Loving October

2011-10-12T18:32:00.002-04:00

Well surgery is over...it was all I thought it would be and more. 5 days in iIU north hospital in carmel was good... But hope not to do this again anytime soon. Still in some pain, but it's better each day.
Greyson surgery went sper. His eyes are straight, and I really feel like it has helped him developmentally, his eying and motor skills have drastically improved in the past month. He is walking behind toys, and now standing up in the middle of the floor by himself... But realizes why he Has done and falls. He is eying everything that Lilly and Owen are, or attest he will try the foods. We will be thinking about weaning his feeding tube feeds more drastically soon. He is a rockstar!
Owen is cutting his molars which seems like it has taken 2 years. Poor little man has a sore mouth. We are trying to get him to talk... Instead of point and make caveman noises! He says ball randomly at times when he has it.... Progress.
Lillian is doing better with her walking. She is slowly gaining more confidence, and taking a few steps and leaning and then falls. She is doing very well... I feel like once she starts, she won't stop.
That's all for now... Will post more soon.

What a week....

2011-09-25T22:38:00.005-04:00

Well, it has been a busy week. Grey had surgery on his eyes on Friday. He did very well. It was a bit more emotional for me than I had thought. I thought it would be similar to his surgery experience when he had tubes in his ears, but it felt like a bit more. He got to recovery, and in Grey fashion, he was angry. Anesthesia does this to many, and he is no exception. I had prepared myself for his eyes to be red, and a little bloodshot, but... they were really red, and his tears when he cried were tinted with blood. I had not prepared myself for that. He seemed comfortable nonetheless. They said it feels similar to having an eyelash in your eye for about 24 hours, and it is better to sleep it off. He had awoke that morning with a runny nose anyway; so ibuprofen/tyelnol, benadryl cocktail for 24 hours did the trick. The eyes are definitely better aligned. The surgeon Dr. Roberts said that there will be some variability of alignment for the next few weeks, but should settle into it's norm then. The white part (sclera) in each of the eyes near the corner, covering until you reach the iris is completely red. Eyes are just gross anyway... blood in them to me, is even more gross. I can take a lot of things.. but bloody eyes for him has been difficult to see. He doesn't seem to mind. He is very happy today, and although he doesn't like his drops 3x daily... he is great!

Todd and I had what we joked as "an epic" night with Lillian and Owen last night. Grey slept for most of the night. That made one living thing in our house that got more than an hour or two of sleep. Owen has been not sleeping well. Lillian has been getting up at 4am. Last night, Owen got up at 1am, and was awake for the majority of the night. None of the kids will lay in bed with us, and sleep... a blessing sometimes, but not last night. All we wanted to do was sleep. Everyone has a runny nose, and a bit of a miserable cold. Last night I think was THE WORSE night that we have had with the kids all home with us.
Owen is cutting all his molars, 1 already in, and also his eye teeth he is getting too. He's gonna have a mouthful soon! He also has a runny nose/stuffy at times, and wanted to be held upright. Note to self:need to purchase a recliner for bedroom STAT! So, after tylenol/ibuprofen/benadryl orajel cocktail at different times, he got intermittent sleep with Todd in bed. Let me just say, neither really slept.
Lillian had a runny nose, and didn't want to be laying down either. She is getting a molar and a front tooth. I fed her at 4am, her tummy was growling. Gave her some more ibuprofen, and 1/4 dose of benadryl.... and she and I slept sitting up on the couch from 5a-8a.
At 4a, the dogs begged to go down to the basement. A freight train could come barrelling through the house, and if you are in the basement, you wouldn't hear a thing. I think they slept a bit less than Grey.
Lilly, Owen, and I took a trip to our friendly neighborhood Urgent Care clinic for a check up. Lillian has a cold. (Thanks.... I appreciate the diagnosis) And, contrary to Owen not touching his ears, he has a pretty bad right ear infection. Antibiotics and a prescription decongestant, and hopefully (PLEASE GOD) it will be a better night!

Tomorrow I have my hernia repair surgery at IU North (Clarian North) in Carmel. Dr. Don Selzer is doing the surgery. I worked with him while working at IU Med Center in transplant and also while in the Surgical ICU there. Good doctor. Straight shooter, and skillful. I have to say that I wasn't expecting to be worried or anxious about this. It isn't even the pain or restrictions, or anything... I just have a lot to live for these days. Don't get me wrong, not that I ever did NOT have things to live for.... but my little family means so much to me, regardless of my time to time frustrations. Even though day in day out here wears a sister down, just to look at them makes me happy.
I have been through my fair share of surgeries. IVF (s), r ankle reconstruction, tonsils etc, exploratory lap for infertility stuff.. yatta, yatta...but this one is different. So, if you think about it, say some prayers for all of us!
Maybe I am just getting older. Sometimes when you have seen enough, seen a lot, seen too much in the medical profession... you realize that simple things can turn ugly. Therefore, Dr. Selzer will have specific instructions if this shall happen.
1) Don't keep me at Clarian North... send me to IU.
2) Do NOT let a resident/fellow intubate or operate on me... PERIOD (sorry... I know everyone has to learn, they aren't all bad, but learn on someone else...)
3) I need my bowels/bladder, and all internal organs... please handle them with care at all costs
4) Do not sugar coat things to me or my family... I will haunt you.
5)Keep me out of pain, or again, I will haunt you.
6) Don't shoot from the hip, if you don't know how to fix it... find someone that does. ......
Seriously, the list goes on. like....
7)If I am going to be a non-productive person forever, surgery stats don't matter... let me go (I know this is a bit harsh for an outpatient surgery.. he will laugh, but I will tell him anyway)

I'm sure Dr. Selzer will absolutely love putting me under anesthesia ASAP once we speak! Good thing Todd too has all of these instructions. I give all my medical friends out there my permission to be nosey and make sure that Todd is getting the information he needs if such disasters should arise. Can any of you tell I am a pessimist? I read this all back, and just laugh. Seriously... haha!

Anyway... 4-5 days, I will be back blogging hopefully. Like I said, send some prayers our way.. not only for me, but for Todd and the kids, and everyone helping this week to get through with relatively low stress!

I'm so dramatic these days... lack of sleep I think.

Haircuts and what-not

2011-09-18T22:48:00.010-04:00

I had intended on blogging long ago. There is indeed still a lot going on. Does the picture to the left summarize it?

Some updates.
Todd made it back from his trip, he had a great time. No work trips planned anytime soon for him. Yay!

I had an appointment with the surgeon this week. What I was hoping would be an easy surgery on an outpatient basis, turned into the planning for a 4-5 day inpatient stay. Sounds like this surgery will be quite the adventure for these hernias. I have to get them done. The pain is more and more, and with the pubic symphysis bone being so close to the hernias, they can very easily get pinched and that would be an emergency. I need to talk to the scheduler this week. I think he is going to have me do another CT scan, and asked me to schedule as soon as possible to avoid any small bowel damage related to the location. Super. However, he said the recurrence rate of the hernias with the mesh placement (I need synthetic mesh placed in my abdominal wall as well) is about 10%. That is good news. I am taking it one day at a time. For some reason, I am a bit worried about this surgery. Perhaps because he said it is one of the most painful surgeries that he does. Can’t wait.
Owen is doing very well. I think he is saying “ball” now. Most of his words are “dirwwt” (which sounds like a little English accented toddler saying “dirt”). He also says “dutch”…. No idea what that is. He likes to yell when he gets outside to hear himself echo and he still thinks barking at the dogs is really fun. It seems like he has been teething for months, but he is getting his molars. He walks very well, and can out and out run at times when he doesn’t want to get caught. He is adapting to his shoes well, and when outside for wagon rides is now starting to want to walk instead to ride.

Lilly the princess… She is still quite the eater. We have cut out all formula during the day, they only get 2 bottles…. One before the afternoon nap and one with 2 oz of formula along with whole milk before bedtime. By the end of the month, we will be done with formula. She is doing fine with that, and so is Owen. She likes sitting on the dinosaur we have, she should be pushing it instead. She still is not walking. She has been holding on and cruising around furniture etc, for months now. We do have physical therapists in the house weekly for Grey, and we are just working with her the way we work with him. I think it is a confidence thing. The therapist seems to think the same. We are going to push her a bit harder for a few weeks and see how she does. Her new thing is taking off all her clothes and her diaper in her crib. Lillian may have to wear a onesie until she is 3. She has quite the personality!

Grey has lots of things going on in the near future. He has his eye muscle surgery on Friday Sept 23rd. It’s coming up so soon. That is an outpatient surgery that we should see instant results. Very happy when we have that behind us. He is also progressively eating better. He is trying new things, and taking more bites of them all. We are going to a feeding clinic in Fishers called Feeding Friends. He is doing well with it, and my goal is before Christmas, we will have him eating and also walking. He will likely keep the feeding tube just in case until spring. That is pretty common. He is pulling himself up, and cruising as well as Lillian is. They both are pushing toys all over. Grey is improving very quickly. We went to the developmental peds doctor at Riley last week. Dr. Brei is his name. Great doctor. Seems like they are never really full of reassurance when you go, however this time, he said, “If you would have told me that Grey would look like this today, 6 months ago, I would not have believed this. ‘’ He then said that we should pat ourselves on the back for what we have done for him, and as well as how hard he has worked. Dr. Brei told me to make sure we keep up the good work, and as soon as he has better oral coordination he will be ready to wean off his feeding tube. AMEN! He is very verbal now a days. He wants to be heard! I think he still likes growling more than anything though.
Fall is coming. I love fall. I cannot wait for frost though. Ragweed season has been overwhelming this year! We are still debating on Halloween costumes. I think I have convinced Todd to do a “themed” Halloween, since our days of being able to actually pick their costumes and coordinate them are limited. We hired a cleaning lady. Her name is Angel. It is fitting! We have to cancel our trip to Orlando for mid October. It isn’t going to work with my surgery.

Jasmine’s leg is feeling better. She is back to jumping over the couch. Unfortunately, I think she has a UTI. To the vet we go on Monday.

The kids got their hair cut at Cookie Cutters this week. It was as painless as it could be.

Owen didn't mind the haircut, unless she touched his ear.

Lilly is concerned.

Grey tolerated it all.

Lots happenin

2011-08-27T00:10:00.002-04:00

Well, there is a lot going on with everyone in the Maurer household. It’s been a month since my last post. Wow… that seems like a long time.

In that month, we have been on a few outings as a family. Todd and I took the kids to the children’s museum and out to eat last month. We also took them to the St. V’s NICU picnic last weekend. The kids love to people watch. It’s quite funny how shy and quiet they get around people they don’t know.

Todd is on a boy’s trip to Kansas City. Cat fishing. Fun huh? Um, glad he has friends that endure all that adventure with him. I’m sure I will have pics to post. He and a group of guys that he went to elementary school with, and still keeps in close contact with go on some sort of an excursion each summer. Thankfully their plans were foiled to go to the Jersey Shore this year. That wouldn’t have been a very good trip thanks to Irene.

Jasmine and Hendrix also have some updates. The dogs are jumping over the back of the couch to get into the play area. They like to find left over snacks etc. Jasmine has sprained her knee. We had a heart to heart on the way back from the vet. I nicely informed her that she was 11 years old. She needed to chill. Crushed up cheerios aren’t worth a torn ACL. The pain medicine has kept her a bit subdued.

Hendrix has learned to open the back patio door. Todd and I noticed a few nights in a row after we had given the kids baths, that the door was opened about 2 foot. After arguing which one of us left it open, our neighbor called to let us know Hendrix was opening it. If only I could teach him how to change diapers and make bottles, we would be golden.

I had my CT scan to look at my abdomen. Yep, I have a hernia…. Well… 4 of them. I have an appointment with the surgeon mid September to see what we need to do. Hopefully via laproscope. That would be superb.

Owen. Owen is a tank. Almost transitioned into 24 month clothes. He is walking now. We have expanded our play area to facilitate more mobility for the kids. He loves to eat, throw his sippy cup, and eat snacks. He walks a bit like Frankenstein, but that’s pretty common for an early walker. He still thoroughly enjoys saying “ uh oh” however, it’s more like “uh,uh”. He can be heard usually saying this in anticipation to throwing something. He has had quite the temper lately with his toys. He is figuring more of them out, but will promptly throw them and scream when they don’t do what he would like. He also started stomping tonight when he was frustrated. He is still a giggle bucket. He loves to laugh.

Lillian is growing like a weed. She still is a tad on the skinny side, but slowly moving into 18month old clothes. She’s nearly there. She continues to have many tricks. She likes to say “Yuck” although she sounds like she could be German, and spits a lot when she does it, this is her intent. She is cruising around the play area, but not yet progressing to taking her own steps. We are working on that. She needs to be pushed a little to boost her confidence. She is giggling more. She is a very good eater, also proficient at throwing her sippy cup. Lilly can climb the steps with the best of them. She’s quite funny.

Grey has made so much progress this month. He is pulling himself up to a standing position, and also sitting himself down. He cruises all over, and also is working on his confidence to take steps of his own. He’s pretty much where Lillian is. He too will be getting into 18 month clothes soon. He is eating more. For the first time, I have seen him take a cracker or snack and chew it, and swallow. This is huge for him. He still has a cough at times, thought at first to be reflux. After a battery of tests, I’m pretty certain this is a behavioral cough to get attention, and show his frustration. This is pretty common in oral aversion/reflux kids, after doing some research. I’ll post more about all of his feeding stuff at a later date. It’s quite extensive. He saw the eye doctor on Monday. He has surgery scheduled on 9/23 to correct his weak eye muscles. It’s an outpatient surgery, should take an hour. Tylenol for recovery. It should be unremarkable. It’ll be nice to have that out of the way. His vision is actually improved greatly. He may not require glasses long term. He is interacting more and more with Lilly and Owen. He crawls up on all 4’s, and is very swift at it now. He can go up the stairs, and quickly if he wants… however we do it in therapy, so he’d rather not show you if he doesn’t have to. He is just getting over an ear infection. I think his favorite thing to do now is bark at the dogs when they bark. He will say “uh oh” , however he likes to bark the best. He severely dislikes his teeth being brushed, and water on his head to rinse it after washing it… but his little personality gets better daily. I couldn’t be happier with all of his progress. Soon he will be evicted from our room. Yes, he is still there after a year. He gets his feedings over night, and has numerous times had the feeding tube and cord wrapped around his neck. It’s scary to think that I may not be there to hear him with that going on… although he’s a loud little man, I’m sure he’d let us know. Of the triplets, Grey tests me the most. He knows how to test me the most. We spend the most time together between appointments and therapy etc. It makes our bond strong. Our next big step with him is eating. We’ll get him there. Soon.

Hot enough for you... long and random

2011-07-20T22:57:00.007-04:00

I don't know if people will even read this when they see the title. It is SO stinkin HOT. Walk out side, and fry like an egg. Hopefully just a few more days of this. Days like this, I just hope that people are watching over their children, elderly, and animals. Please people.... take care of those less vulnerable than you.

Just some randomness.....

Those of you on Facebook, know I have a new obsession. I am addicted to Matilda Jane Clothing. www.matildajaneclothing.com. It's a darn good thing I don't have 3 girls. I'd go broke. My mom calls it "hippy stuff"... and you all know me, I am far from that. But, for some reason I have just fell in love with this stuff. I cannot acquire it fast enough. Hiding my purchases from Todd at first, but it has become a full fledged addiction. He rightfully told me to tame my purchases for a while... until the fall line comes out. Who can argue with that, that's reasonable I suppose, afterall, it comes out August 1st... shhhhhh.... AND, it's made in Fort Wayne. Seriously... I'm supporting the local economies!

Falling apart....

SOOOO, last Wednesday, I was getting Owen out of the pool (We had a pool fiesta during my lunch) And,..... tweaked my back. Um, yeah. Enough that I lost feeling in my legs, and ended up laying on the patio for about an hour before Todd could get home from work and help me up and go to the local ER. Come Saturday, it was better. Bulging disc they say. Wow. That wasn't fun. Poor Becca. Surprised she came back this week! I had already made an appt with my primary care md related to some abdominal pain while exercising. (For Real, this wasn't an excuse...) And so, long story short, I probably have a significant hernia where I had my abdominal cerclage and c-section. I thought that was the case before I made the appointment. I think I have some adhesions, and significant scar tissue. All of this having weak abdominal muscles with the hernia etc, was likely my back issue. Both doctors said you can thank your triplets for this. Gee... thanks kids! Nonetheless, it comes with the territory. They are worth it. I have a CAT scan/MRI scheduled on Monday. Guessing at some point in the next year, they will have to fix my hernia. I'm scoping out surgeons at St. V's. Although I know surgeons at IU a lot better... I think I will uh, pass on that, for many reasons. There are a few that I worked with at St. V's that are excellent as well. Keeping my fingers crossed that my bowel involvement isn't terrible. I'll keep what I have.
And then.... I had to schedule a follow up colonoscopy. That's in a few weeks. I had polyps starting in early adulthood... have to keep that in check. It's the most preventable, and treatable cancer afterall. um... so yeah.. All I will need after this is an oil change and tires rotated, and I should be good to go for 100,000 more miles.

And, lets see.
What to feed toddlers.
Here is what we are doing now...

0730- wake...table food

0900/0930ish 8 oz formula

1000-12ish nap (unless you are Lillian and decide it isn't necessary for you to nap when you are supposed to)

1230- lunch toddler meal (for lilly and owen split) or something I can think of... lol sippy of milk 2 oz or so, until they throw it across the kitchen!

1400-1/2 milk 1/2 formula 6 oz total bottle

1400-1600ish nap

1600- snack(usually cherrios or crackers, or fruit)

1730- dinner toddler meal etc.with veggie.. juice or water in sippy

1945- 8 oz formula

2000-bed.. shewww!

So, here is what we are feeding already.
Do any of you have any other ideas, or have you done anything different??

Breakfast (usually also a fruit)

Scrambled eggs (this is hit and miss if they throw them on the floor, or eat them)

instant oatmeal

eggo french toast sticks (their fav)

yogurt

waffles

pancakes

dry cherrios (another fav)

toddler oatmeal

torn up bagels

Lunch/Dinner (also I include a fruit or veggie/ or both)

They really like Gerber Toddler meals

spaghettios

already prepared salad chicken prepackaged (thanks Heather Myers!)

spaghetti

ravioli

chunky soup of some sort

anything with noodles and meat

Gerber prepared hot dog snacks were a hit!

Veggies

Grean beans

peas

corn

carrots... i try, they hate them

tried broccoli, they hate it

mixed veggies

potatoes mashed usually

Fruit

diced apples

diced bananas (they hate)

diced strawberries (they hate)

diced blueberries (they hate)

applesause (a fav)

diced peaches (they hate)

diced pears (they hate)

Snacks (sometimes also a fruit/veggie with)

vanilla wafers

cherrios

puffs

graham crackers

we don't struggle with these... they are limited, but a few small daily snacks.

I've read that toddlers are grazers. This is a phase, and it's fine. So, I try to offer snacks when they get grumpy mid morning and mid afternoon. They usually don't eat when they aren't hungry. Perhaps I just need to read more about it. I don't feel confident on how to feed them, and how much. Winging it, and following their lead.

We struggle with fruit. I think I might need to doctor it up a bit more... like maybe cinnamon or something.... ??

They love water, juice at times, and like whole milk. They will drink water constantly from a sippy.

I guess I struggle because I want to make sure they are getting a balanced meal, and nutritous... but, yet get things they like, and make sure that I give them variety to avoid pickyness.

Our peds md wants us off formula at about 15 months give or take a month, and off bottles at 20 months, give or take a month. We will slowly transition to that.

Grey Bear.... then and now!

2011-07-18T21:50:00.018-04:00

This is Grey with Becca.... he was likely about 2 months old here. There are definitely smaller pics of him, but I just love this picture!

My little Grey. Baby C. Littlest baby, likely the littlest embryo... but the biggest fighter of all. Grey was born in the same minute as Lillian. They popped out at the same time. Grey was a tad bit smaller, and because they didn't anticipate him being so small, they were unable to get the breathing tube in him. He required 2 minutes of CPR. He was small. 2lbs 1 oz. 13 inches long. He looked like a scrawny old man! Grey was the first that I held when he was about 3 days old. I held him in the neck of my shirt to facilitate bonding. I did this with all of them for almost 6 weeks. At 6 days old, he had his first bowel surgery. Weighing in at 1lb 13 oz... they took 1 cm of his jejunum out after having a tiny hole in his mesentary that connects his bowel to his abdominal wall. Just bad luck the surgeon said. 9 days after that, he had his heart surgery. He had a heart murmur that had to be surgically repaired because he couldn't have the medicine to help it. The medicine was hard on the intestines. About 3 weeks after that he had his second bowel surgery (7/23/10).

Not a day I even want to recount. 9/15 was another day that I would rather not live through again. That was another surgery.... the last of the ugly ones.

I cannot explain my relationship with Grey. It was guarded at first. I was always a little more worried about him. Even from seeing his little heartbeat in my belly. We loved that little guy enough on 7/23, to just say.... "Please God, if you are going to take him..... don't make him suffer..." amongst many tears and a impromptu baptism, and a surgery at the bedside in the NICU. I knew then that Grey, was going to make it, and indeed be something special.

He's gone through a lot. His intestines, his heart, infection, ear tubes, surgeries.... and add on to that liver failure. His liver failure was quite significant. It has since returned to normal function. (Livers are amazing... HE is amazing). Now, we battle his oral aversion, and eating issues. This is improving. The next battle will be his eye muscle issues. Since he was premature, had a rough road in the NICU, etc, etc, etc... it is common for babies to have eye muscle coordination issues. We tried glasses. They don't really work. Although cute... they aren't helping. The eye doctor said we would come back in mid August to see him, and likely schedule a surgery to correct his crossed little eyes. He said he is 100% curable, but sometimes it takes a few surgeries throughout their lives.

The child does therapy 2-4x weekly depending on the week. Becca was here a few times and stated that it was hard to watch him go through it. He GETS SO MAD during therapy. He doesn't want to do it. Becca and I talked about it, and I actually just laugh.... he is mad. He isn't in pain, he doesn't hurt. He is mad. If we didn't want him to get mad, he would be the same little man we brought home that doesn't even break gravity with his extremities. Becca is sick of hurting the little guy... and who could blame her. I had to remind her that she after all, was the one poking and prodding him... it's just our turn now.

I love that little man. He is a wise child. Crying when you touch him with an alcohol swab, or when he sees a white coat, or when he sees a tourniquet in the hospital... he is way to wise for his age. He is cautious, resistant, and all that he has gone through, he is trusting and cuddly and loving. Many of these thoughts and feelings I have put to rest waaaaayyyy in the back of my head, where I hope I never have to explore and relive again.

Grey will be the engineer in the family. He is very methodical at what he does, and how he does it. He likes to take things apart. If he could get that feeding tube out, he would in one swoop. He likes to uncap it, take apart the tubing to the pump, and pull it over to touch the bag. There is a method to his madness!

I think I am tougher on Grey... I've had to be. I do coddle him more, and yet at 1 year old, he is just now being put to bed at the same time, and the same way as Lillian and Owen have for months.

He is a tough little man. He will continue to do just fine. He is sitting up in his bed on his own, army crawling, and trying to pull himself up in his bed. He has come so far, and he won't be stopping any time soon!

This is after Grey's 9/15 surgery. He was very sick. Becca was giving him written affirmations that day. He DID get off the Jet Vent that day!

This was after his swelling had gone down after his final surgery. He was so jaundice from his liver damage.

Another one.... He still loves that pacifier!

This was their 4 month bday. He was on some very heavy medicine to help with narcotic withdrawl from all the pain meds he'd been on while on the ventilator.

This was the day we brought him home. The only thing he really did physically was smaile really big, and he LOVED to look at his fingers. He looked at his hands a lot!

Here he is on his 1 yr birthday! He is deep in thought of course.

Big Birthday Celebration!

2011-06-26T22:00:00.056-04:00

We had our big birthday celebration June 26th. It was Dr. Seuss style! Thanks to everyone that came! This party was as much of a celebration as it was a time to thank our friends and family that helped us through the year... and it allowed everyone to see the kids, and for us to see them. It was a wonderful day! A big thanks to Brooke for taking these pics, and capturing the memories for us! http://shortiesfunnyfarm.blogspot.com/ This is Brooke's blog. She does some photography as well, and this is her photo blog http://purplelilyphoto.blogspot.com/ Again, thanks everyone!

This is pre-mess!

These are the Holy Cow Cupcakes from Carmel.

Lillian didn't really like her tutu.... but she was a trooper!

Nor did she really think her bloomers were as cute as everyone else did.

This is my sister Tyann and Lillian. Lilly likes to visit with Tyann, she usually has some nice jewelry to pull!

She loved her cupcake! A girl after my own heart!

This is Grey and his NICU nurse Becca. He loves Auntie Becca.

He did humor us, and eat some cupcake.

Perhaps he likes Becca because she is so patient with him. That child lights up when she comes on Wednesdays.

But a big party can sure wear a little man out.

This Erin (aka, one of the most beautiful pregnant women I've seen) who was Owen's NICU nurse. Owen spent the whole day trying to get down again, and again....

and again with Uncle Troy....

shewww.... can't a boy just crawl all over the floor?? It's his party after all!

He too enjoyed his cupcake!

He and Grey enjoyed a moment together.

It would not be a triplet party unless you have multiple sets there! The Myers triplets came! Todd and I met Heather and Neil in the NICU. I talk to Heather almost daily. Sometimes she is the only person I can vent too, since Todd is likely sick of hearing me. lol Thanks Heather for being such a great friend! They will turn 1 on July 4th!

L-R Mackenzie, Lillian, Leila, Owen, Grey, and Charlie.

This is Noah and his dad... he has gotten so big and handsome!

The boys enjoyed watching some movies in between running around. I think they had a good time! Evan, Noah, and Max enjoyed playing together.

And, this is us! Very happy to have survived the year, and very happy to have many more to come!

Birthday cupcakes

2011-06-16T22:18:00.005-04:00

Grey enjoyed a little cupcake tonight. After the initial coaxing... he felt like dipping his fingers in and putting some on his tongue. He still managed to get filthy!!!

Lillian thought the cupcakes were the bomb! She kept saying "MMMMMMMMM" as she put her bites in her mouth. I was most surprised by her eating the cupcake. She can be picky at times... but not tonight. Her birthday cupcake hit the spot!

Owen ate THE WHOLE cupcake. He absolutely loved it. He had cupcake from head to toe, and I mean literally!

This makes me wonder how the heck we will keep them decent at their party next weekend.... perhaps the cupcake eating will be saved for almost the end.... and in their diaper only?? Wow, they were messy!

It makes me happy I ordered cupcakes for their big party on the 26th! I ordered them from HOLY COW CUPCAKES. You can see them at www.holycowcupcakes.com . I'll try to post more pics tomorrow. One year down, and many more happy years to celebrate!

One year ago

2011-06-16T21:35:00.014-04:00

This is where we have come from. Babies ranging from 2lbs-3lbs 3 oz. They've come a long way.

This is Todd and Grey.

This is Todd touching Grey's foot.

A triplet pregnancy. Using those 3 words together is a very powerful statement. We found out we were having 3 little ones right before the first of the year. I really hadn’t been sick yet. At 7 weeks pregnant I went to see our high risk OB doctor, Dr. James Sumners. That is where the fun really began. During that appointment, he told me that there was “Good news! I don’t see another one hiding in there…”. I think I could have fainted them. After that he continued to tell me that I would need to eat 4000-5000 calories each day to gain the weight that I would need to gain for the babies. Also, we were left with some options of a abdominal cerclage. Not a traditional cervical cerclage, (where the cervix is stitched close)… but the uterus would be closed. The bottom of the uterus is gathered like a potato chip bag, and is sutured that way permanently.

I traveled for work from early January to mid February. We were in the midst of a medicare audit that was all-consuming. It did help me get off the pregnancy… and nonetheless, eating out every night helped me get my calorie load in for a while. One Wednesday early February I wasn’t feeling well, while in Columbus OH at work. Later that night the back pain continued to get worse… and I asked one of my fellow nurses to take me to the hospital. Realizing that we would never find it, we called the ambulance. They took me to the hospital in Columbus, and after many hours of pain and radiology tests, it was found I had my first and hopefully last ever kidney stone. I had managed to call my infertility doctor on his cell phone to talk to him at 1am, and he was able to talk to the ER doctor, as they didn’t really want to touch me. I stayed there 2 nights, passed the stone… and although didn’t have to come back to work in OH the next week, I knew my days of traveling were limited.

Surgery was done on Feb 18th. This surgery was done at 13 weeks. When we went to the hospital to have that procedure completed, I knew I would be there a couple of days, I knew I would be asleep during the operation, and I knew that I would have a scar. A few things that were not clear. 1. I was awake during the surgery, 2. I was there for 7 days, 3. I have a vertical incision extended to my belly button. It hurt, it hurt bad. Interestingly enough… I was a little uninformed, and I didn’t stop to think that the surgery would hurt worse pregnant because my uterus and stomach was continuing to grow.

At 18 weeks I felt almost recovered from the cerclage. I then was placed on precautionary bedrest, which is what is done by the high risk OB I saw that day. I spent the rest of the pregnancy trying to lay on my left side the majority of time. At that time, I was getting pretty significant carpal tunnel. I used to shrug off people that complained of carpal tunnel…. But let be the first to say, wow,… that was painful. I had it in both hands, and it can be pretty common in women that are carrying multiples. My hips really hurt from laying down, and all the weight shifting. At this time, I really had a hard time eating and drinking. I had to force myself to do both.

At 20 weeks, I started to monitor my contractions with a home health belt that I had to place on myself twice daily. That yielded a few nights here and there in the hospital for contractions some I could feel, some I could not. Many times it was because I was not drinking my 4 liters of water daily that was needed. I quickly started drinking a lot of water. I was started on some oral medication for contractions at about 24 weeks. It just made me more tired.

At 26 weeks I had a routine doctor visit (I had ultrasounds weekly from 13 weeks on). At that time there was noted to have a little protein in my urine per the urine dipstick. I then had to do a 24 hour urine test, and was found to have significant protein in my urine at that time… and was admitted into high risk at St. Vincent Women’s hospital. I knew I would be there the duration. I had contractions off and on for a few days, and was given IV hydration, which cut down on my drinking necessity. Off and on there were concerns regarding my urine protein, which was continuing to climb. Also, Lillian’s umbilical cord had some restricted flow, which was worrisome. I can honestly say I was in complete denial of having to deliver premature triplets at this time. Even though the NICU doctor had come and talked to me about the general NICU lowdown, and I had the NICU tour, I was not going to deliver these kids less than 34 weeks. Oh, how wrong I was.

On June 15th, Dr. Sumners came to my room, and sat down in the chair. I knew then, I was in for a talking. He said that my urine protein was quite high, and enough that he wanted to tentatively put me on the schedule for the second c-section of the day if necessary. At that time, I tried talking him out of it, and tried to tell him my reasons for not going…. But it fell upon deaf ears. I knew this time, he was serious, and we’d wait to see how the urine was, but likely the day was coming quickly. After our hour discussion, and reaffirmation… I knew in the back of my mind that it was looming. About 2 hours after that a nurse came in, asking me if I felt ok. I told her, no, was anxious, and had a back ache. Turns out I was contracting every 3 minutes. I was placed on a mag drip that night, and knew that was the nails in the coffin. I would be having the babies on June 16th.

Todd arrived early that morning, and planned on working from the hospital, thinking that I would likely not deliver that day. Turns out, I was going to. Family came in to town, I was taken to the Or at about 1030.. I really don’t remember that ride. Todd was prepped, and I was to get my epidural. Long story short, after about 8 epidural and spinal block tries, they were unsuccessful. I continued to contract. I continued to be uncomfortable. After refusing to be poked one more time, they gave me general anesthetic. There were heated conversations between the anesthesiologist and myself. He was mad that he couldn’t get it in, I was mad that he was acting like a baboon…. So indeed, I was better off with a tube between my vocal cords to silence me.

I was wheeled to the NICU to see the children, and I honestly just remember thinking that I was in the twilight zone. The epidural had actually kicked in, even though it hadn’t took before I went to sleep. The kids looked so small…. I felt like I had failed them. I felt as if I had left them to survive on their own…. In their little clear boxes.

I cannot really describe what I felt during the pregnancy. The best description was anxiety. I was anxious about how we would take care of them, how we would handle this as a couple, how our dogs would handle the kids etc. I felt anxious about everything. However, I must say… it was all worth it. The first few weeks of Lilly and Owen home were rough, and the when Grey came home in November; but we made it. I feel like after doing that, we can do nearly anything.

These are pictures that Brooke brought down to me when I was still on a Mag drip in high risk 2 days after delivery. I was really out of my mind when she brought these, and had a few choice words for Dr. Sumners that was rounding at the time. Thank goodness she kept an open mind about perhaps that wasn't my shining moment! These are only pictures a parent could love.

This was Grey.

This was Owen. He had just been taken off of the breathing tube, and ventilator.

This was Lillian. Can you tell she was Brooke's favorite??

Now when I look at the kids as they sleep (cause that is when they are the most angelic!)... I know that these 3 kids were meant to be ours. I know that I was selected to be their mom, and Todd their dad. I know that for some reason, (some sick joke) I was given the challenge to put my body back together again. We will rise to all the challenges... because we can, and we always have.

Progress and the Octagon!

2011-06-12T20:56:00.007-04:00

This week is a significant week. Lillian, Owen, and Grey will celebrate their 1st Bday.

Owen is the most active of the 3. He really is pretty close to walking. He comfortably pushes his toys around our living room... crying when he runs into something. (backing up is a bit more advanced!) He walks around the octagon that we have set up in our living room! He is very skillful at tackeling Lillian, and stepping on Grey while they are playing. For some reason, he feels that they are his step stools. Tackling is an issue we need to address with Owen. He SEEMS to know "OWEN, NO!"... however he responds only a percentage of the time. We had to get something to contain them, and this is what we have taking up our living room.

Please be gentle when judging the mess. Remember I have 3 one yr olds!

Owen has about 6 teeth, and getting his molars. He is sleeping much better, and continues to love his blue blanket in bed. His favorite TV show has to be the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. That hot diggity dog song really is catchy. He can be seen dancing and smiling to it when it comes on. Mickey brings smiles to him every morning. We are starting to introduce table food to he and Lilly. They like the Eggo french toast sticks. Cherrios continue to solve all of his problems. He says MaMaMa, and is working on DaDaDa.. but is not purposeful with them yet. He likes to cluck his tongue, and giggles a whole lot! This child is a big boy. I cannot wait to get his stats next week at their 1 year check up.

Lillian is quite the character. She is our circus seal. She does a number of tricks. She likes pat-y-cake, she loves peak-a-boo... and she LOVES her Aden and Anais swaddle blankets. We have 12, and its a good thing, because whenever they are visible, she feels she must have one. She gets one for naps and bedtime. She will kiss, she sticks her tongue out, she shakes her head "no" which is quite annoying when it feels like she knows what you are asking her. She too likes to cluck her tongue. She REALLY wants to be able to stand up on her own. She is hit or miss in the octagon, but in her bed, she is very skillful! She sits up from a laying position, and even though her arms are not strong, I saw her crawl about 10 feet today. When she is motivated, there is no stopping her. She also loves to take bathes, and get the whole bathroom soaked!

Grey is Mr. Personality. He poses for the camera like no other! He knows a few things for sure.... He does not like his glasses, he'd rather not eat, he likes to roll to his destination, and if Lillian isn't careful, he will be crawling before her, he likes his pacifier, he loves his Baby Einstein entertainer that is in his pack n play, and he really enjoys going for car rides and being held! He has his preferences, that is for sure. All of that being said, he has a great little personality.He too likes the swaddle blankets. He can be seen at any given moment pulling on the tubing to his feeding bag, and always seems to be amazed that the pole continues to fall over on him each and every time. He is the only one that STILL likes the ceiling fans, and prefers to touch them if you lift him up. Grey has made the most progress, and has certainly come a long way!

Tomorrow they will turn 1. I cannot believe that it has been 1 year, but in some aspects it seems like an eternity since they were born. Every day is a blessing. I will post tomorrow some pictures that were taken of them at 2 days old... you will see then definite evidence of just how far they have come!

How we went from 2, to 5 (Plus the huskies!)

2011-06-07T22:55:00.003-04:00

I started this blog entry on June 1st. This is the same week last year that I entered the hospital to have our trio. Let me start from the beginning… and you will better understand our journey. I wanted to break this down so I remember; and if anyone else is struggling with these things that reads the blog, there is hope!

Todd and I were married in 2002, knew we wanted to have kids some time… but not any time soon. Once both of us finished grad school… we enjoyed our freedom a bit. We spent a lot of time with our dogs, which were our children, traveled a bit, focused on our careers… and then at some point in time, we decided we should likely start trying soon as we weren’t getting any younger.

Trying to get pregnant wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. I think as a newlywed, you look at trying to get pregnant as throwing caution to the wind, and it “just happens”. Well it didn’t. Now that it has been a little while, dates are a bit blurry to me. One thing I do know is, it was an adventure. I think we started in 2008, after a few months we went to Clomid. Clomid yielded us a miscarriage. After picking ourselves up off the ground from that… We went to a Reproductive Endocrinologist here in Indianapolis. This doctor was formerly with Jarrett Fertility, but has since started his own practice in Austin Texas. Dr. Kenneth Moghadam was a God send to us. I think he told me later in our conversations, that in our first consultation together he knew that he had met his match with me, and that he would have his hands full. I had done my research, I had a plan in mind, and I just wanted someone’s stamp of approval, and for us to get moving on it. We finished our 3rd Clomid round… and were just done with that. One of my friends nicely put it, and I concur… “Clomid makes me want to EAT my husband”. How true. I wanted to absolutely make everyone else’s life as miserable as I felt.

On to the next. We then went on to IUI (Intrauterine insemination). Still really without a firm diagnosis. I have some ovulation dysfunction, or simply put it, irregular cycles. I had a procedure to make sure my fallopian tubes were clear. They were. I had a surgery to make sure I didn’t have any issues with my uterus. I didn’t. The 2 IUI’s with injectable medication to stimulate my ovaries yielded nothing.

On to the last. After many discussions; I mean many discussions… we decided to do IVF or invitro-fertilization. Not only is this a financial commitment, but it is a huge emotional commitment. Huge. March of 2009 we did our first IVF cycle. For those of you that have not done IVF, it’s definitely taxing on your body. It boils down to about 4 shots a day, 4-5 ultrasounds, same amount of lab work, and a lot of emotional investment. There is a surgery to retrieve the eggs from the female, which left me uncomfortable for a few days. The eggs are then fertilized by the sperm that was collected and incubated. Then, there is the everyday call from the embryologists to see how many of our little critters survived, and how they are growing. After that, there is a decision that needs to be made by the doctor as to how long you need to wait for the transfer. 3-5 days is the norm. We did 5 day transfers on them. 10 days and about 5 boxes of pregnancy tests I got my lab work back, that showed my labs were low… and I would likely miscarry again. 3 days later another lab showed, I indeed… had miscarried.
After that miscarriage, I really had to evaluate what I wanted. Todd and I talked a lot about options. He had always leaned more toward adoption. He did want our own biological children, but being the incredibly down to earth person he is, he knew there were many children out there that needed homes. He knew we could offer a wonderful home to one of them. I had a hard time with that. I think I had a hard time with the fact that I was giving up on us. Giving up, and giving in to infertility… I didn’t want it to win. We took the summer of 2009 off. We enjoyed our summer. I think we went to Cabo. We definitely tried NOT to think about having kids. I did some blood work for recurrent miscarriages, and found that I had a copy of a clotting disorder called MTHFR, and I was borderline hypothyroid. I was put on a blood thinner, and low dose thyroid meds….

Long story short with the frozen embryo cycles. (We had some embryos that we had frozen left over from the first cycle). The first cycle we tried my uterus wouldn’t get thick enough with the hormones. I then came down with H1N1. God knew better than I did. I had high fevers, and an ugly pneumonia. The next month we transferred 3 embryos, and didn’t get pregnant.

We were really at a crossroads then. Do we spend $20k more on another cycle, or spend that money toward adoption? I leaned one way, Todd leaned the other. He told me that he would do another cycle because it is what I wanted to do, and he respected that. But, I also knew that is not what he would have chosen if I hadn’t wanted it so bad. I also had to rationalize with myself that if this didn’t work, that I may have to give in. I may have to realize that it isn’t going to happen for us. I may have to revamp the way I always thought my life would be, and I’d just have to deal with this curveball. All of this sounds so dramatic typing this out… but these emotions and feelings were heart wrenching for us. Many discussions, and many of my tears, and much support from Todd…. We decided to do one more fresh cycle, and see what happens.

Let me also say that my thoughts on adoption were very strong. I knew there were children in need of adoption, but could not ignore my drive to beat infertility. I had always wanted to make sure that Todd had a little piece of his brother Travis back. They only way to perhaps have a little bit of him is born again, were to have a biological child of our own. I really felt strongly that if we would have gotten pregnant and had a singleton, our next child, we would have adopted.

November 2009 we did our final IVF cycle. I had basically the same response that I had had previously. I produced a lot of eggs. Our embryos were good quality. We came to a decision when it was time to transfer the embryos… do we do 2, or do we transfer 3? Dr. Moghadam, Todd and I had talked about this. We transferred 3 before in the frozen cycle, and didn’t get pregnant. 2 in the first fresh cycle, only to have a miscarriage. Dr. M told us he would support us if we decided to transfer 3. When we arrived to our room before the transfer, the embryologist came in with a picture of the 2 leading embryos.. and said, “Here they are.” I said, “Well, I think we are going to transfer 3, so go pick out the best one!” So, 3 it was.

I promised Todd that I would not take a pregnancy test before we were to get the lab work done. I had obsessively peed on sticks every flippin cycle, only to cry the rest of the day, and be in a complete fog for weeks. I was convinced the day of my lab work that I was not pregnant. In fact, Todd worked at home that day, so we could get the call of the labs together. I knew that I was cramping, like I was getting ready to start my cycle. We got the call, and the nurse said, “Tiffany, your numbers are good… they are really good.” I think my knees about buckled. My beta 9 days after my 5 day transfer was about 500. I knew that was high… I knew we were likely looking at multiples. Neither Todd nor I cared. We were ecstatic.

Dec 30th, we went in for our first ultrasound. 2 heartbeats were seen immediately. Then, the nurse said that I had a cyst on my ovary… and I quickly noticed that that cyst had a heartbeat… There were 3 little flickers in my uterus. 3 fast flickers. Todd was absolutely elated. I, was cautious. I was scared, I was happy, I was shocked, I was…. I really can’t explain that emotion. It’s like no other. The first words that came to my mind were expletives. But, one thing was for sure, I knew we had an uphill road with the pregnancy. I knew that it wasn’t like a twin pregnancy, or a singleton for that matter…. But, I knew that this is what God had in mind for us, and we needed to jump in feet first!

so much...

2011-05-23T21:31:00.014-04:00

Wow, so I guess my posting later that week really didn't happen. 1 month later... here we are.

A lot has gone on in the past month. Grey got his GJ tube. Well, he's had 3 of them. 2 of them he stayed in the hospital for, related to vomiting etc. This one has been in for a few weeks.... and I will not even say it's working, because I do not want to jinx myself (or him). They are all dealing with ear issues. Grey's is the worst. He has been back and forth to the doctor a few times this
month. He had some ugly drainage a few weeks ago, and is on his second round of antibiotics. We went today to see an ENT doc (Dr. Hackett is his name at Northside ENT... I worked with him in the CICU at St. V's when I was there, and he is a wonderful, wonderful doc. He has a great bedside manner, and his skills are excellent). Grey will get tubes in his ears on Friday. I think this will really help him. We have been unable to do therapy for some time, yet we still try to work with him at night. I know I keep saying it, but he is almost sitting up. He gets up on his hands and knees now, so perhaps he will crawl before he sits up... ;) He had a visit with Dr. Brei at Riley this week. Because Grey has a small head size for his age and weight, we decided to be proactive and get an MRI which was completed last Friday. Being true to my impatient self, I got the report today from St. V's medical records... because after all, I minored in neurology... (NOT). But, I needed to know. His MRI of his brain was completely normal. Even though that is what we expected, it was a sigh of relief. You never know what you might find when you go fishing for things. After all.. Grey, is Grey... and he is full of surprises. I think they will only be good ones from here on out. I cannot wait to get that little man's ears fixed so he can move on from all of this! We have lots more to progress before his 1st bday!!! He still does not desire his glasses, but we need to work on it more. They do correct his alignment of his eyes when they are on, however keeping them on is the trick! Here Grey is at the ENT office, sitting in the exam chair... He's a stud! His eating is hit or miss. We are still working on it. Here is a good day though. As you see the advice to let him play in it from his occupational therapist is clearly because she doesn't have to clean him up! I had to take a double take on this one the first time I took it. There are a lot of Lillian characteristics on this picture. At first, I thought it was her!

Speaking of Lillian Kate.... She would really like to crawl. She really would. If only someone would hold her in the kneeling position and move her hands, she'd be in business. She loves to stand up at the activity table, but .. again, please hold her there or she will fall on her little noggin. She likes to show off her 2 bottom teeth! She too has an ear infection... but seems to be on the mend. Todd has taught her some gestures with her tongue, in which she acts like she is constantly licking her lips, and sticking her tongue out at you. She especially likes to do it to strangers. We went to Starbucks today with Brooke, and she did it to a good number of people. It's definitely a classy trait! She has turned into a calm little girl, although she does speak her mind, she eats and sleeps well. That is a big accomplishment in our book here! Her other tricks are shaking her head "NO" at anything you say, playing patty-cake, peak-a-boo, and eating Cheerios like they are going out of style!

Owen... oh, Owen. Owen is currently not sleeping well. He wakes anywhere between 2-5am, and is up for an hour or two. He is definitely teething, I think he has his molars coming in, and also his 4 top front teeth on top of that. He is crawling, and pulling himself up on anything he can find. He likes cords, remotes, cell phones, outlets, dogs, and many things he should not have. He enjoys standing up in his bed all hours of the night screaming for you to come in the nursery, and when you arrive, he greets you with a giggle and a sigh of relief. This however makes sleepy parents feel like jumping out the nursery windows.... I don't know really what we will do about it yet. If he is teething and in pain, I hate to let him cry it out. On the other hand, I feel like it has become a game... and I'm losing. Losing sleep, patients, and sanity! lol I can't say Todd is doing much better either! Owen will be graced with a new room this weekend (his own!!). Lillian would like to sleep through the night, and we would too would like Lilly to sleep through the night. I think this is all a phase. We are all ready for it to pass!!!
Please note the Gerber yogurt bite in his hair!
He loves finger food. He will be a good eater when we start full table food. Cheerios are among his favorite too. Although he is frustrating right now, he is such a clown. You can hear him giggling as he is speed crawling to the nearest door- stop so he can fling it back and forth to make as much noise as possible. The child is hilarious!

I did take all 3 to the March of Dimes walk in late April. Todd went golfing with a friend, and at the last minute, I just decided to load up, and see how it went. Becca was there in case of emergencies, but honestly we did really well. It is a lot of work getting all 3 around, packing for a few hours, loading them in the car seats, getting them into the stroller... etc, you get the point. I was exhausted along with them after the walk, but I am glad we did it. I need to continue to build my confidence when it comes to taking them all out by myself. It isn't an every day thing, that is for sure!!! But, it was nice to spend the day with them, and we did just fine all by ourselves. We all slept well that night, including Owen!

We are still planning their 1st bday party. Hoping to get all invites out this week. I'll add that to my laundry list of things to do. I actually will be traveling for work in about 3 weeks for a few days to Columbus Ohio. Honestly, I was dreading it, but it will be nice to get away, oh, and sleep... lol.

Above is a pic that we are putting on their invitation for the party.

Happy Easter!

2011-04-24T21:49:00.005-04:00

Happy Easter everyone!

We had a great Easter. Todd's parents came over, and we had some festivities at our house. It is so much easier when things are here... not having to get everyone out and about. My side of the family had Easter in N. Indiana.... but Grandma left the wagons on Friday. Everyone is feeling good.

Grey is feeling better I think. He is still not happy about his nose tube, but we are hoping in the next 2 weeks to get that out. He really ate well today, better than I have ever seen him eat. He was wanting baby food, opening his mouth for it, and really was happy to drink out of his sippy cup. I will go into all that at a later time. I don't want to jinx it. You all will think I'm crazy anyway after that post. Can you tell he was excited about his wagon with gifts in it? He also liked the ice cream cone bubbles that Gma and Gpa Maurer got him!

Owen is standing up in his crib now. He thinks he is pretty hot stuff. Super stud, was I think the term he used. Although footing is still getting worked out, an occasional bonk on the head is common. Notice he accidentally is wearing a #2 diaper?? A stray got in his #4 diaper bin... lol

Lilly has decided that she will never crawl, she doesn't like her tummy.... We're still working on that! She didn't really like the bunny ears, but she let us snap a decent pic.

She did like plastic Easter eggs though.

Sleeping is going very well! (Again.. shhhhhh, we won't tell them)

Here is a prize pic from today. Daddy was absolutely hell bent on getting an outside shot. We got them dressed, stepped out the door, and it started to rain. Todd would constest that it was not raining, it was "misting".... nonetheless it was cold, and there was moisture falling from the sky. We were out for about 2 minutes, literally. If they looked stunned.. that is because... they are. It is a beautiful back drop there in front of the irises... We'll have to try it again on a better day!

I'll definitely post more later this week. I'd like to get a basement blog in!

Brief update

2011-04-17T21:49:00.007-04:00

Lots going on, just hard to abbreviate it all.

Grey has gotten glasses. We are slowly building up to wearing them more and more. (See the smudges??)lol He isn't all that thrilled with them, unless they are on his forehead, or in his mouth. They appear to help his eyes when they are on. His vision is actually good, it's what all infants have. The opthamologist says he is farsighted, which is common. But, since he has eyes that alternate crossing from time to time they correct the vision with glasses in hopes that the muscles will not have to work hard, and correct the eye movement. Let's hope it works, and he becomes more keen on the idea. He is getting 2 teeth at once, and has double ear infection, with a sinus infection to boot. He has a tube back in his nose, which I may, or may not have posted about. Its a complicated matter... but he is having severe reflux, and this is causing vomiting. So, the tube in his nose goes down to his small intestine and that is where his food goes. Feeding here does not cause reflux. He still has his gtube that goes into his stomach, and that I have draining out to a diaper, because he has been vomiting mucous from his sinus infection. The little man, is just a mess.... But, I think he is on the mend.

Lillian is sitting quite well, and has her two front teeth. She started babbling, and jabbering late this week... lots of ba, ba, ba, ba.... Owen has been crawling all over her, and she finds that less than desireable. I'm hoping she decides to crawl here soon. She loves baby food by the way. The little girl that you have to force her to drink a bottle at times, loves her baby food. We have started her on some solids this weekend. I mashed some cooked carrots, and she again, seems to love them.

Owen is getting his 2 upper teeth, and has the 2 lower teeth like Lilly, and like what Grey is getting in. He is crawling all over... and especially if there is a remote, phone, cell phone, or a cord anywhere near. Tonight he tried pulling down the fake potted plant I have sitting in the corner. I am seeing a few things going up high in the near future. He remains a silly little boy. He loves to smile and laugh.... I'm fearful he will be a class clown one of these days.

We are planning a 1st bday party. Brooke, which was Lilly's primary nurse in the NICU is planning the party. We are going to have it at the Hawthorne Country Club in Fishers http://www.hawthornscountryclub.com/Club/Scripts/Home/home.asp. (I need to learn how to post a link better.... )Themed Dr. Seuss, it should be fun. My goal for Grey is that he will be sitting up unassisted by then. I think we are well on our way.

Ferberizing is going pretty well for the kids. They go down fairly well. They didnt' cry at all tonight, and usually it is about 15 minutes they may fuss before they decide it is time to just go to sleep. They are well on their way to getting their own rooms. Our goal is to have Owen move out of that room by about June. He wakes Lilly up a lot, trying to pull himself up in the bed, and getting frusterated I think. He also has wet through his diaper and clothes a few times during the night. He then gets cold, and cries..... and then it's all down hill from there!

Todd has assembled a very nice gym in our basement... my elliptical arrived this week.... and after a long ordeal, the powercord will arrive likely in the next few days. I have 1 week down of dieting, and already starting to see progress. That makes me happy. I plan to try to start exercising this week as well. I really didn't realize how out of shape I was until we have have been taking walks, and I am out of breath easily. Before I was just lazy, but not really that out of shape. I think carrying the triplets, and months of bedrest, 2 surgeries, and lots of sleepless nights has really taken a toll on this ole bod..... That soon shall fade, I am determined!

Operation get my life back....

2011-04-09T09:16:00.003-04:00

Well, I know it's been a while. A lot has gone on. Grey has been rehospitalized twice since his PEG tube. He has had some vomiting. Good news is that his tube is in the right place, it does work. He has great stomach, and intestinal function. Bad news, he has severe reflux. This reflux is so bad that it is causing him to vomit with the larger amount of food he needs to intake to maintain and grow. So he now has a NJ tube. This tube goes in his nose, and down to his small intestine. This is where his food goes now. In 1 month, he will go back and have his more permanent feeding tube revised, and it too will have a portion that extends down to the small intestine. This will allow his reflux to get better. Usually reflux is gone by the age of 1 year. We don't have much more of this. (Trying to stay positive for the little man). He also got glasses to help his eye muscles. His vision is fine, but since his eyes cross at times he now has some blue glasses that make him look like baby einstein... he is adorable!!! I will post pics when I have some more time. Lillian is sitting up, and doing so great. She is now sleeping OUT of her little nap nanny... and is a total rock star! She continues to do some therapy, and is getting so much stronger. I am hoping she will be crawling soon. She has 2 teeth, and isn't afraid of using them! Owen is a little stud. He is crawling, and is all over the place. Yesterday I went to get him up from his nap, and he was SITTING up in his crib. Time to lower the crib! They are both Ferberized for the most part. They have done spectacular at night, but naps are a little more rocky. They are going down at 8pm sharp, and usually will make it until 7am the next morning. Dr. Ferber has a modified cry it out method. I know there are many opinions on this. Some have said it "isn't fair to them", some have said it "causes insecurity, and fear"..... I've had opinions about how it doesn't covey love to them, etc.... Honestly, I've researched it for a long period of time, and we have had good success with it. Todd and I are very happy to have some evening to spend together, work on Grey's therapy with him, and just have some down time. It has been such a positive change for us. So, along with Ferberizing.... Tiffany needs to lose some baby weight. I've really struggled this year. It is time. We now have our basement finished. I will do a seperate post on that. There is a fabulous workout room. I am starting today! I'll try to post more. I really enjoy it.... Lots going on!

He is home

2011-03-13T23:10:00.002-04:00

Grey is home. Sleeping in his own bed. He is still a little grouchy, but played on his playmat like it was his business. Very happy about how he is doing! Thanks for all the prayers. God is good.

Grey Update

2011-03-11T19:53:00.003-05:00

Grey did well through surgery. He is off the vent, and resting comfortably on a regular peds floor. We are very happy. It's so nice to see him without tape all over him, and resting. When he wakes, he's a bit grumpy... but so would I be. Hoping for a Monday discharge! Thanks for all the prayers. Keep them coming!

Gtube vs. NG

2011-03-11T09:00:00.005-05:00

Well, we are currently here at the hospital waiting for Grey to get out of surgery. I have some time to sit down and blog about gtube etc.

Grey has an an NG tube since birth. Initially it is put down infants that don't eat by bottle because they are too premature. Lillian and Owen had their NG until about 2 days before they left the hospital.
At about 32-34 weeks (correct me if I'm wrong NICU nurses) infants get their drive to eat. They finally get their suck, swallow, breate coordination about about 35 weeks or so; or so that seemed how it was for them. Since Grey was sick, and on and off the vent with many surgeries, he missed his window of learning the drive to eat, and the meaning of hunger, and the NEED to take a bottle. He got his food through his IV mostly, and some through his NG tube until he had his re-enastamisis surgery in September. He missed some key eating milestones by not being allowed to eat.
Thus... here we are. Grey will eat about an ounce at a time. He then decides that he doesn't need to eat anymore. Somehow the connection between hunger, and taking a bottle isn't really there for him. We can make him hungry, by not feeding him thru his tube and see if he will eat more. He won't. It just makes him angry. Defeats the whole purpose. Until Grey can feed himself (alot of times that is when kids get the hunger is satisified by eating connection), and can live off of food and cow's milk, he will need a feeding tube. Many times kids that can feed themselves also don't feel so defensive eating. If you think about it, Grey has had BAD oral stimulation for a long time. Take this medicine you don't want, bad reflux, a tube shoved down his nose atleast once a week, tape on his face for 9 months, and the list goes on.

The NG goes into his nostril, through his developing sinuses, down his throat, and into his stomach. A gtube simply goes through into his belly above and to the side of his belly button, and directly into his stomach. This will allow him to have his formula through the tube, and directly into his stomach. Sometimes this helps reflux, so he doesn't have a tube all the way down his throat, and also can at times allow his oral stimulation to be more pleasant... hopefully making him want to eat a little more.

I will post illustrations when I can open another window on my own computer.

Let me just tell you how it is to shove a tube down your kids' nose every week. Every week, he knows when I have laid him down on the changing table, and he has his tube out for his 6 hour break on Sundays... that the tube must go in. It used to be that he could be cuddled and comforted by me after I put the tube down. But, now that he is bigger, he appears to hold a grudge against me after I replace the tube weekly. I cannot wait to NOT have to do this every week. Even though the Gtube will be a learning curve for those that help us, and Todd somewhat.... but we will be so glad to get the tape off his face, and tube out of his nose.

Today in the preop area, he was fine. He hadn't had anything to eat since midnight... and he was pretty good. They did give him a breathing treatment to help with post op recovery. He actually did quite fine with that. He was in his peach little gown, playing with his feet, sucking on his pulse ox that was on his foot... and trying to get his ID band off. UNTIL, he saw doctors, and the nurses that were coming to get him. Soon after that, he went to the OR, looking at us, like... "hmmm is there a reason I am going, and YOU are not....??"

He should be out of the OR soon. Will update when I get a chance.

Black clouds of drywall dust... 8 months, and 33 years

2011-02-24T18:42:00.004-05:00

Wow, these last few weeks have been eventful.

Todd started his job. So far so good. He is enjoying it. The commute to Castleton is so much better than downtown. He has another trip the first week in March.
While Todd was gone, I celebrated my 33rd birthday, and the kids were 8 months old. All the while, our basement and ceiling were being repaired. At about 7pm on the 16th the drywall dust overcame us all. The kids were coughing, I was coughing, the dogs were coughing, my mom was as well. We all loaded up... (I say that so easily... but it is a rough, rough event) dogs and all and went to Muncie to spend the night at Todd's parents house.

Let me just say... I cannot, could not do any of this, or maintain our lives very easily without the help that we have received from all of them. My mom is here 2 days a week. I cannot do without her, her input, her support etc. My inlaws are here 2 days a week. We could not both work and maintain our lives without the help of them either. Our parents have been so helpful, it is unbelievable.

So, we made a makeshift orphanage hehe, and dog kennel... at the Maurer's in Muncie. The next day I came back to the house, and all the dust had settled... literally. It was a mess. The ceiling looked incredible. If you need anything done around your house, Olis Construction is wonderful. Mark Olis has been a God Send to us. He not only is remodeling our basement, he did our ceiling, our roof... and THEN, or guest bathroom toilet started leaking all over the floor on Tuesday. He came upstairs, and installed a new one within an hour. We didn't want to have to replace that ceiling too.

So, last weekend was full of cleaning. Mom and I cleaned Thursday night, Friday night, and all day Saturday. Then I cleaned Saturday night. Everything... top to bottom. Curtains are still at the cleaners. So, to my neighbors that may be reading... sorry, I hope our lights aren't blinding to you at all hours of the night.

So, lets take stock.
Basement
Ceiling
Roof
Toilet.....
Ready for a break. Yep, that's right, we are ready to have a smoothe sailing rest of the year.

Grey is scheduled for his Gtube March 11th. Please, start praying now. I am hoping that all of this is just so that his surgery and recovery is a breeze!

Owen is sitting up without support. He is getting his first tooth. He's been a bit grumpy.

Lillian is right behind him. She sat up for about 30 minutes supported by a boppy... She's a hoot!

Grey is doing so well in therapy. He sat up for about 30 seconds supporting himself today propping himself up with his hands.

Wow, I love these kids.

The Maurer House

2011-02-05T21:35:00.014-05:00

Lots going on at the Maurer house.

The basement is currently getting finished. There is no lack of banging, popping, and sawing sounds around here. It is nearly all framed, and starting to take the shape of what will be. It is definitely hard having someone else in and out of the house, but our contractor seems to be respectful.. and is always counting the kids, asking where the missing one is. (usually up in the nursery, or in the pack n play)

Grey is doing very well. We are thinking of scheduling the gtube for the second week of March. He is rolling over, and pushing himself up with his arms to hold his head up. He is having some diarrhea, so we ended up having to get a stool sample and take it to the lab. Wow, that was quite the sight. I will spare you the details. Other than that, he is doing super! He is now comfortably in 6 month clothes. He is growing fast!

Lillian is rolling from tummy to back, and back to tummy. She isn't sitting, nor does she think that is skill she will ever need. I remember thinking the same about algebra... although that has come in handy a time or too! Lillian is wearing 9 month clothes, although they are a little long, she likes them so she can suck on the feet of whatever she has on! Lilly is quite the squeeler, and babbles, and loves to eat baby food and cereal. She has loved nearly everthing we have introduced to her. She is a big eater! She can be heard saying "mmmmmm" when she takes a bite, although it sounds like a growl most of the time. She still sucks the food off the spoon, so she will be a big hit on dates with her growling and slurping!

Owen is growing like a weed. He is in 12 month clothes, shortly to be in 18 month clothes. He is sitting on his own for a few seconds, then will lean forward to suck on his feet. Our next task for him is to hold his own bottle. There is no reason he shouldn't. He loves his jumperoo, and likes to stand up, anytime you'll support him. He likes food too, and doesn't say "mmmmm" like Lilly; he can be heard screaming between bites, because no matter how fast you feed him, it's not fast enough. I took him to the doctor a few weeks ago for a few toes that looked red. At that time, I told our peds md that Owen was eating about 52 oz of formula a day...... he told me that was "impressive", and politely told me to give him 3 meals a day, or offer him a bottle of water to cut down on his formula. That has helped Owen get a grip on his formula consumption!

Todd got a new job. He will still be working at Wellpoint (Anthem), and will still be a Financial Consultant Sr..... He will now be working in Castleton, instead of having to drive downtown every day. He will be working for a different division, and with Medicare contracting, and analysis. Not sure I summarized that the best way, but its closer and different, so he is happy. The only con to this job, is the first few months he will be having to travel a bit. Sounds like heaven to me....

This week was interesting. We had an ice storm Monday-Wednesday. Tuesday about 6pm, we lost power. All that I have been fearing, is the loss of power. After much discussion, we then couldn't find a generator..... and we ended up in a hotel that night. Good ole Cambria Suites. My inlaws were here, as they didn't think they would be able to get back and forth from Muncie, to watch the kids... thankfully.... they were here. They stayed with the dogs, while Todd and I packed the kids up and headed to the hotel. Roads were passable, but that was about it. 3 seven month olds don't travel lightly. It took an hour to pack in the dark, and then it took Todd 2 trips with the hotel cart to get us up there. All the kids had seperate pack n plays... and Todd and I each had a king bed. It actually was a quiet night, the logistics were chaotic, but we made it work. The next day it was back on. We headed home. Lillian thought the whole night was just one big party.

Friday while my mom was babysitting, she yelled up to my office that it was raining in the living room. Literally. Down from the 20 foot ceiling, via the ceiling fan, sure enough, it was raining. It is what is called an ice dam. So, needless to say, we need the majority of the great room ceiling replaced, roof fixed, new ceiling fan.... and the carpet cleaned. We currently have 9 buckets and bowls sitting around the living room. It will continue to leak as long as there is something on the roof to melt. Super!

I just keep going back to... it's only a house, and it's only money. Considering all we have been through with Grey, and infertility, and Todd's brother Travis passing away.... it puts things into perspective. Nevertheless, it's annoying.

a full night sleep

2011-01-22T23:58:00.003-05:00

Well, as you see I am experimenting with the title, and pictures... Not how I want it yet, but i will get it there.
I am currently sitting in a hotel room that Todd arranged for me to have a night to myself, and a good night sleep. I had a nice dinner with my friend Heather tonight, and I am done messing with the blog pics. I am off to a very nice full night sleep. I will finish the rest of this, this week. I am also going to try to be better about blogging. I do enjoy it, time doesn't always allow though!
We are still alive, and doing well. More to come!

Resolutions

2011-01-08T22:08:00.002-05:00

Happy Belated New Year!

New Years was pretty low key here. Todd's parents came for a while in the evening, we went and got dinner and a movie. We also went to Kohls.... WOW, it was exciting. We were feeding the kids at midnight, so we did watch the ball drop, unlike last year when I was in my first trimester and didn't stay awake after 9pm most nights; including New Years!

We have some SUPER news. Grey had his labs this week, and his liver numbers are ALMOST NORMAL! It is simply amazing the recovery that his liver has made. His direct bilirubin that we have been watching so closely is 0.9, down from it's peak of 18! Thrilled is an understatement! We started him on an every day routine of oatmeal and bananas. He likes it, but the first few bites he makes terrible faces!

Lilly started carrots this week! She absolutely adores carrots. Even though feeding them carrots looks like a massacre when they get carrots Owen enjoys them just as well. I never thought they would like carrots, but indeed they do.

On to resolutions.....
Grey has made a resolution that he is going to get a Gtube (likely, we see the surgeon on the 17th to discuss it) and he is going to do very well, and tolerate surgery like a champ!

Lillian has made a resolution, that she is going to do more tummy time, and try to hold her head straight up and down, instead of tilted!

Owen has made a resolution that he is going to stop growing so much. He is almost in 12 month sleepers....

Todd.... I don't think he makes resolutions. Unlike me putting things off, he does things when he thinks about it.

I need to get back in shape. Triplets aren't nice to anyone's body.... so, I need to do some work!

Go Colts!

Merry 1st Christmas!

2010-12-27T13:00:00.007-05:00

We had a Merry 1st Christmas. A very Merry Christmas indeed.

Last weekend was Christmas with my family. That went well. Chaotic, with children now, nonetheless, but it was nice.

Our old Christmas tradition and new one are about the same. Todd's parents come down to spend the night on Christmas Eve. We usually go out to eat, or cook in. They will spend the night, and we open presents that Santa has brought.That is what we did this year as well. Although we usually get ample sleep... however that did not happen this year, and I have a feeling will not for years to come. As you can see, Grey, and Lilly are less than happy here.

But, a few hiccups. Lilly was sick. She didn't have a temp, but you'd never know if she did, because I kept her loaded with tylenol. She had a snotty nose, decided a few feedings not to take her bottle. So, 630pm Christmas eve, I'm making a last minute mad dash to CVS for some Pedialyte in case she decides eating isn't her thing for the next day or so. She had little rosey cheeks, and screamed for the majority of Christmas eve, and day. We made a quarentine play mat for her, so she didn't infect the others.

Owen started to get sick on Christmas night. I loaded him with tylenol, and I don't feel like he got it as bad as Lilly did. Owen continues to have a deep hoarse cough... but no fever. He's grumpy, but he is getting better.

Grey pulled his NG out a few times this weekend. I think he was wishing us a Merry Christmas. It's still a lot for him to be that stimulated with all the lights, extra people, and different things going on. All and all though, I feel like he is doing better and better with that. He still loves the ceiling fan!

Last night we took pics of them in the chair. Lilly and Owen were stacked there waiting for Todd and I to retape Grey's NG tube, and then he got added.

I love this pic. Lilly and Owen with their rosey cheeks from being sick. Grey has decided he is not going to look at Todd taking the picture. He is more interested in the ceiling fan! We tried as best we could to keep him seperate from them so he didn't get their disease!

I think the Christmases (weird seeing Christmas plural in writing.... it looks mispelled!) will get more fun. This year, opening gifts was the last thing they wanted to do. Chewing on the wrapping paper however was very fun. I look forward to all the Christmases yet to come!

Happenings... and pics

2010-12-20T22:07:00.007-05:00

Well, my Christmas tree blog will likely not happen!

We had my side of the family Xmas on Sunday. It was very nice. We ordered pizza to keep it easy, and it indeed was much easier. The kids got a lot of toys, and some bath seats that were much needed! They also got a "My baby can read" set... that will be fun to try! Grey got a bit overstimulated, so he and Todd spent a lot of time upstairs chilling in the nursery. He still gets a bit overwhelmed!

We got a few headshots of the kids. Owen is sitting on my lap, and Todd got a pic of him there. He looks like a darn toddler here!

It cracks me up! He is so funny. He now is jabbering, and will be an Indian if you pound on his lips when he is making noise. He gets a kick out of that!

So, we tried the same with Lillian. Lilly is quite the busybody... and this first one, is the funniest picture that she has taken. It was dark in the room, and the Xmas tree was behind her... but she was startled by the flash! I know it may seem a bit mean to post this... lol... But, this picture cracks me up everytime I see it!

Here is the pic of her after she got used to the flash!

I can't say she really likes her bow... but she will wear it anyway!

We weren't that cruel to Grey. We ended up doing an Xmas card through shutterfly, and sent those out as well. Here is Grey's headshot! He is growing so fast!

He loves to look at his fingers, and so, he has his hands up a lot!

Here is a picture that we didn't end up using for the card, but it was cute. Do you know how hard it is to get all 3 to look at you, and smile, or not cry etc.... IMPOSSIBLE! lol. Grey still looks kind of jaundice here... but he is looking better and better each day! We are so happy with his progress!

New Update

2010-12-13T10:15:00.002-05:00

It's been a while!
An update on all of us...
Grey is doing very well. We have increased his feedings, and he is tolerating that very well. He is doing well in all of his therapies, and is now starting to raise his feet to touch them. He kicks a lot, and is starting to make different noises when he is cooing. He continues to be a happy boy most of the time. Grey is sleeping very well at night, and if the feeding pump wouldn't wake him up, he'd sleep even better!!:)

Lillian is quite the character! She is starting to squeal, and definitely wants us to know what she wants. She is growing like a weed. Now she is in 6 month clothes and sleepers. Lilly still has the heaviest head she thinks. She will hold her head up, but holds it sideways. We have increased her tummy time because of that!!!

Owen is doing well! He is growing so much. He is in 9 month sleepers, and is about ready to grow out of those! He is so long. He holds his head up very well, and is probably a week or two away from sitting up. If you tap on his mouth, he will make noise, so... he's an indian part-time too!

The dogs... yes, they are great too. They are truly enjoying this snow, and Jasmine thinks that Grey is her baby. Jasmine has always been drawn to sick people etc. For example, when I had my ankle surgery, she guarded me. She knew when I had my surgery on my uterus when I was pregnant with the triplets. She just has that intuitive nature. She thinks Grey is hers. When he cries, she comes to get us. If he is on the playmat, or in the bouncer seat, she will lay by him. She is very interested in him! Hendrix spends a lot of time under the dining room table. He likes his "alone" time!

Todd and I alive! Our Christmas tree is up! We put our old tree up, and we had to move it because of all the baby stuff from where it was the last years. We couldn't get it to stand up, and stay up. So, we bought a new tree. Our new 9 foot tree is now standing in the living room, and looks wonderful. Becca Franklin did a blog on her tree, and the different ornaments that she has on the tree, and I am going to try to do that... I thought that was neat. There are now more ornaments on our tree, with great meaning. Everything means more this year. I have NO... yes... I have NO!!! Xmas shopping done yet. I will be buying everything online this year! sheww!!!

I have some pictures that I want to post, and I will do that when time allows! LOL!!!

getting along

2010-12-02T22:44:00.003-05:00

We are all getting along well. Nights have been a bit different than just with Lilly and Owen. Grey and I have been sleeping downstairs with all the beeping from his feeding pump, and apnea monitor.... we don't want to wake all the troops up.

Grey is adjusting just fine! He has 3 appointments a week with therapies. Speech was today, and he did very well. The plan is for him to take a bottle 3x a day, and then we will do a swallow study on Dec23. This will determine, whether he has another surgery for a G tube, (tube that goes thru the stomach, directly into the stomach for feedings), or if we keep forging ahead with his feedings with the NG tube in. The speech therapist said she thought he would pass the study, and he wouldn't need a G tube. He took 2 bottles today, both with about an ounce each. That is excellent for him. We go next week for a new pediatric doctor at Riley next week, Dr. Brei. He will help with his feedings, and manage his labs etc.

Lilly is doing well. She is eating more and more. I can't wait to see later this month how much she has gained. She still does not like her tummy time, and despite all our efforts, her head control is better, but not super yet. She did roll from back to belly today, but finds it not necessary to be on her belly to roll to her back.

Owen is starting to babble a lot. He has had some rosey cheeks tonight, although his temp is ok, he's been a bit fussy. I am praying he isn't getting teeth yet. I just need another month or so to get things more routine around here.

All things considered, we've done really well managing around here. I am quite pleased that our routine is for the most part in full swing, and doing well.
Grey is settling in here, and considering it's only been 2 weeks that he has been home, and had before that spent his whole life in the NICU, I think he is doing spectacular. He is trying to put toys in his mouth, and touching his feet sometimes. He's gonna be caught up before we know it!

Thankful

2010-11-25T19:50:00.008-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Today, Thanksgiving was at our house. It was a little scaled back today, as we are usually traveling up to Kendallville to see my parents, or we have Thanksgiving at Todd's parents in Muncie. But, since we don't travel light, and Grey requires some equipment for feedings etc, we had it here.

It was a great day, and we have a lot to be thankful for.

All the kids got a bath today, and had their picture taken in the nursery chair with what we named "Todd the turkey".... although I don't think he was amused...

Lilly had the turkey in her lap, as the others do in their pictures, but she was really happy with herself when she knocked it over. She was giggling here. She is the only festively dressed one today. She thought her bow was a bit annoying, but she was a good sport!

Grey liked the turkey, and was a bit tired in this picture. He is holding his head up better though! He is wearing his outfit that Becca, his NICU nurse got him. The brand is Kicky pants, and it is the softest outfit every! It is just darling on him.

Owen liked the turkey. He is a happy little man nowa-days... I'll have to blog about his love for his fuzzy blankets soon. He really takes to them.

Things have been good around here. Grey had two doctor appointments this week. We have Grey's feedings now going over an hour, and have been for the past day. He has tolerated them well..(knock on wood). He seems to be doing very well at home. It is so nice to see them all interact, and look at each other. The more they are around each other, the more I notice the similarities in their actions, cries etc.

They have gotten so big! Owen is now solidly in 9 month sleepers! Lilly is in 3 month, and can wear 3-6 month, but they are big. Grey is wearing 0-3 or 3 month. He enjoys sitting in his nap nanny, sitting in the mamaroo (that's another device we have here, I will blog about later), loves his bouncy, and likes to sit up on their play mats.

We are so thankful to have our family all together. We are getting used to Grey's feeding pump, and all of his medication schedules... and this year, we are just thankful to have them all, have them all home, and that we are all healthier than ever!

Complete

2010-11-19T21:56:00.008-05:00

My family is complete... and so am I.

Grey is home. He is having a good night. He is currently in his pack n play sleeping soundly. He has had a big day. He certainly enjoyed the car ride, and slept the whole time. I cannot be happier right now. Thank you to all of the NICU for all you have done. Couldn't have asked for anything better!

Here are pics!

Owen was sleeping in the swing, so he was not too prepared for the photoshoot!

Grey is just thankful to be out of that NICU crib!

On schedule

2010-11-15T22:08:00.002-05:00

Shhhhh.... we're not going to say anything too loud.

We will certainly shout from the rooftops when I load that little man into my SUV on Friday. Grey is on schedule to come home Friday. His bilirubin is down to 9.5. Normal is less than 1... but let's put it into perspective here.... the beginning of November it was 15.2. We have come leaps and bounds!

The feeding pump has been ordered. I will not count my blessings before they come true, but I am really excited!

Tomorrow I took the day off, again, I don't tell Grey these things because when I get my hair done, or schedule it... he acts out! So, the hair gets cut, and color. I have about a thousand errands to run too!

Not going to the NICU is going to definitely be a double edged sword. We have gotten to know the nurses and doctors there better than we ever expected:)!! But, it will be so good to be under one roof for the first time!

Next Friday

2010-11-11T23:46:00.003-05:00

Shhh... Don't tell Grey, and don't jinx us... but next Friday if all the stars and planets align, Grey will be coming home. I say don't tell Grey because, although he knows who I am, and knows who daddy is... he loves his nurse Becca. I don't want him to act up. I have to say in the past week, Erin, and Brooke have also taken care of him, and I think he flirts with them as well! Dr. Bin Saad will be his doctor next week, and he is already giving me a hard time about him not going home! I think Bin Saad will miss me. In fact, I know he will... and I am more than certain that he will miss Todd. Todd has always liked Bin Saad, and he was Grey's initial doctor when he was born.

Adding to my anniversary post, my husband surprised me with my inlaws coming that night so we could go out to dinner, and also sent me roses. Wow, what a guy! We went to Eddie Merlot.... and seriously, that filet was the best! We had a great time. We didn't have to rush home, and I knew the kids were well taken care of. What a treat! Lilly and Owen then decided they would sleep from midnight until 730 in the morning! Thanks kids! The only thing that could have made that day better was if Grey was already home!

Soon enough, my family will be under the same roof. I cannot wait for that day to happen!

8 years

2010-11-09T17:45:00.001-05:00

8 years today, Todd and I have been married.

So, 8 years…. Many laughs, many tears, many ups and downs. This year I can say that the man I married is the father of my children.

The ups and downs have been extreme at times. Before marriage, he suffered the loss of his beloved brother. A brother that whom when I first met, I knew that Todd shared an affection with him that was unique. Travis and Todd had a relationship that was like no other. I know that he thinks of Travis every day still… it’s one of the reasons I love him.

The wedding…. Oh, the wedding. It was a beautiful wedding, a rather large wedding… and I always said I wouldn’t do it again, but I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

The honeymoon, what a great time. Although, many of you know I am not fond of flying, and I begged him on the flight home from Honolulu to LA to drive from LA. He kindly told me it would be ok, and asked if I wanted my meal…. (cause he was still hungry)… and NO, we would not be driving back from California. That is also another reason I love him. He grounds me. I found that out early in marriage!

We have raised our 2 dogs. I think at one time or another he was ready to get rid of both of them… lol. And, when I was in the hospital before the triplets were born, he told me, he had found a new love for the dogs, they were his friends. They kept him company on his nights without me.

And the triplets. Infertility is not kind to a relationship. It’s was not kind to my self esteem as a woman. It was not kind to me, nor him. After 2 miscarriages that were heart wrenching, Todd always told me “It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be sad.” And sometimes that is all I needed. The decision to do IVF was different for both of us. I was willing to do what it took to have our biological children. Todd thought that there were plenty of children out there that needed help. He is very humble, and that too is why I love him.

And so 3 IVF cycles later, a correction of my thyroid, and clotting issues. We go for an ultrasound after transferring 3 embryos back…. We see 3 heartbeats. Shock came over me. Joy came over Todd. I remained apprehensive, and scared, he remained happy and so full of joy. It’s why I love him.

And… after the triplets were born. Todd was the professional isolette diaper changer. He loved to touch them. Even at 2 lbs, he wanted to touch them. He allowed me to hold them first, and spend intimate time with them and bond. Todd is the ultimate optimist. I as you may know, I am not! When Grey was sick, I mean really sick… Todd was there, even tempered, even mannered, even emotionally, even after I had fallen apart. I can’t tell you how many times we thought Grey would not pull through. Todd always stood strong, in that he would be fine, and he would end up home with Lilly and Owen. I now know, he is likely right.
I can’t really express my feelings for Todd. Even though we have our differences at times… I think it’s just the way it is. He is my partner. He is my best friend. I cannot express how happy I am to be married to him, to be the mother of his children, and to know we will spend the rest of our lives together.

Functionality

2010-11-07T20:16:00.012-05:00

So, functioning is something that needs to be at it's easiest in the Maurer household now a days. This is a picture of my once uncluttered, once organized, once babyless house. Don't get me wrong. I don't want it to be babyless any longer... I'd like it to be uncluttered... but I'll have to wait for the next 20 years for that!

I rearranged the house furniture to make it more functional. I don't think Todd is fond of it, and I must admit, it has taken some getting used to. 3 swings, 3 bouncers, 2 play-yards, 3 bumbos, 2 toyboxes, 2 pack n plays, one changing table, a rocker... 3 boppies, and the list goes on, and on, and on. That is just the downstairs. I won't even get into the upstairs. So good bye my house that was well put together.. color coordinated etc, hello boppy pillows, pack n plays with blankets placed all over. Good bye leather chair and foot stool... you must now go upstairs. So functioning is what is important now, and it has made things a bit easier!

Day light savings time was a success here at the Maurer house. We did gain an hour... BUT!!!! BUT!!!!! Todd and I fed Lilly and Owen at 1115pm, and swaddled them, turned on their white noise machine, put them in their cribs in their nap nannies.... Good morning! It's 630am. They slept for 7 hours. Not a peep. There was a part of me that was scared to go into their room. But we turned all our clocks back, gained our hour, (530am now), fed them, back to sleep they went and woke up at 1015! It may be a fluke. I'm preparing myself for it being a fluke; but boy it was nice!

I changed Owen from his high calorie Neosure back to Similac Advance. Yes, it's still relatively hard to find Advance, but he has been so fussy at night. After 2 nights of not being on Neosure, he's back to not being fussy. I think it makes him to gassy, or bloated... heck I don't know. If he doesn't get a academic scholarship because I took him off of the DHA/ARA high calorie Neosure for preemies, well then, I guess that is my fault. But, he is much happier! Owen is rolling over all the time from belly to back. It appears he likes to play on his back more, as he doesn't stay on his belly much when placed there!

Lilly has been less fussy in the evenings.. (KNOCK on wood!) I think she is growing out of it a little. We'll see if that continues. She too likes to play on her play mat, although tummy time leaves a lot to be desired for the most part! She does push herself up, and looks at you, but by that time, she is so beside herself that you have made her do it, she's at a loss. They all 3 are babbling and cooing a whole lot. Smiling when they are smiled at, is such a blessing to see!

Grey is doing spectacular! He is off oxygen, and is doing great. His liver numbers went down again on Friday, and we will watch the trend again on Tuesday. He is almost off of methadone (medicine to help him with withdrawl from narcotics from prolonged stay on the ventilator), and so it may not be Friday that he comes home, but I honestly look for it to be early the following week.

Here are the latest pics of Grey, he's a handsome boy!

The dogs got groomed on Friday. I can't say they were happy with me about it, but they look better. They are still sporting their bandanas; that too, they are not happy about.

Have a good week everyone!!! Hopefully this is our last full week without Grey at home!

Great news!

2010-11-03T22:41:00.006-04:00

Well, I am here to report there has been great news on Grey's behalf! He is off oxygen as of now, and has done very well without it. Yesterday his bilirubin was down, and if this trend continues, and all else is status quo.... I think we may be able to get him home by the end of next week.

I went in to see him today, and his nurse Becca rigged up a "bubble bath". She put oxygen into the water basin in the sink, and he coo'd and giggled when he got it. I washed him all up, and he had no oxygen on, and his feeding tube fell out of his nose, and he was tube free for a while! For the first time, in a long time,.... Grey is a baby. He is a baby that is going to get to come home. A baby that is on target for his age, a baby.... that is ours. He is Lilly and Owen's brother. He is just like Lilly and Owen. For the first time, we will soon have Owen, Lilly, and Grey in our house.... It is just unbelieveable to me! This little guy is a miracle. They are all miracles; but especially Grey. I don't think we are going to need the Omegaven.... his liver is improving without it. They did start some oral fish oil this week, and I am anxious to see the results of that.

I was able to talk to a liver doctor tonight that I am familiar with from the transplant world... and she gave me great peace of mind, that we are doing the right thing, and in just a few months, his liver should be as good as normal. Although she said it will take a few months, she feels that with all of the information that I gave her, and all that he has been through, it is all quite normal. This made me overjoyed.

I cannot count my blessings enough. My family, my friends... Todd's family, Todd's friends.... I cannot say enough about the gratitude that I have for everyone. I have found a new me through all of this. A me that appreciates my mom, and family more that I ever have in my life. A me, that loves my husband... more now, than I ever have. A me that realizes that my dogs, are indeed that... our dogs... but I love them as a part of our family, and they have come to be quite fond of the kids when they aren't screaming! The huskies will add to the joy of watching these babies grow older! I have found a me that knows in adversity, I can reach to the depths of my soul, and being... and make it through with the help of my loved ones. Bringing Grey home will be another challenge. One that we must face, and will overcome just as we did bringing the other 2 home. It is not going to be easy. But someone once told me, I didn't have triplets to make my life easier!

1st Halloween!!

2010-10-31T21:37:00.006-04:00

Well it's the first Halloween! We have some pictures from the NICU today. Grey had 2 costumes, he was a bat, and then the Incredible Hulk. Owen was a Tootsie Roll, and Lillian was a Butterfly.

First of all... updates on Lilly and Owen. They are doing great. We are having a little constipation issues, but night feeds have been going really well (knock on wood). Lilly continues to be colicy at night, she can grow out of that ANY minute now! I'm guessing the next time we go back to the doctor, we can start cereal and some food... which I'm hoping that works miracles, .... we shall see!

Grey is doing well too! He is almost off his oxygen, hoping this week or next he will be off of it all together! He is tolerating his feedings, and is at goal feeds for his weight. He occasionally has some loose stools, and isn't gaining weight as rapidly as he was, but all of that is expected. We are not trying to feed him bottles, as his lungs are improving, and we don't want to throw in a monkey wrench into all of that.

Grey's liver numbers are still high. This week I was doing research and remembered from my transplant days a medicine called Omegaven. Omegaven is mostly utilized by Boston Children's Hospital. It's basically IV fish/soybean oil. It is used to protect the liver against IV nutrition damage, but has shown to have some healing properties when it comes to the liver as well when the patient is off of iv nutrition. I called the neonatologist that day, and was hoping that he didn't think I was crazy, and he had already printed off the paper, and had been trying to get it approved by the medical director of the unit. (great minds think alike) So, instead of GOING to Boston, the medical director approved it... now we have to wait for the FDA to decide if because Grey is OFF of iv nutrition, if they will approve it. In the meantime, they are going to start him on some oral fish oil, because St. Judes had some good results with oral fish oil as well. That does not have to be FDA approved. As soon as Grey's liver numbers start to trend down the way we want them too, he can come home. Please pray that the FDA will let this go through, and pray that the liver gets better soon.

The kids really did well today all dressed up in their costumes. I know that they were hot in them. When we walked into Grey's room, he was sitting in his swing, in his bat costume with "sweeties" or the packets oral sugar water they give him to calm him down, and a sign on his swing that said trick or treat! As much as we didn't still want him to be in the NICU for Halloween, Becca and the rest of the NICU staff made it quite enjoyable. We then loaded them up in the stroller (Grey in his carseat for the first time) and they went around to the 2nd and 3rd floor NICU. The kids got sweeties, and ready made Neosure (their formula) for treats. Owen even got a mini snickers bar he liked to hold on to and make crunchy sounds.

Grey REALLY liked to get out of his room, and walk around in the stroller. We are going to purchase a stroller he can have there, so we can do that more often. He was so good, and really seemed to enjoy it.

This week is we are hoping his liver numbers go down, and we will have him off oxygen. Hopefully we will have him home in time for Thanksgiving!!!

quick update

2010-10-24T22:55:00.002-04:00

Nap nannies are the bomb. For 2 nights Lilly and Owen have slept for 5 and 6 hours respectfully! It has been so nice. The good thing also, is that they are back in their cribs! Sleeping in my own bed with the monitor is so much better than either the living room couch, or the leather couch. I can't tell you what a difference that has made for my back and hips! Todd and I were able to organize a little more this weekend, it was nice to be able to work on this together.

Grey is doing well. Lilly and I went yesterday, and Owen and I went to see him today. Today he was wide awake, and not fussy. I laid Owen in the bed with him, and he turned his head to look at him, and coo'd. It's nice to see the recognition. He is up to goal feedings, and is down to minimal oxygen support. I am hoping they will aggressively wean it off, this will allow us to have one less thing on his little face, especially when he gets home.

This week starts a new babysitting schedule. Hopefully the kids adjust, and hopefully they continue to sleep so well at night!!! Let's make this a trend!

2010-10-22T23:27:00.005-04:00

So regardless of how the beginning of the week went... the hida scan being abnormal and all... things are starting to improve with little Greybear. His bilirubin is trending down. Here is a recent pic of him. I know it drives Becca nuts when he doesn't have any clothes on, but this particular day... his little face, and jaundice just made me want to eat him! His direct bili is down to 14... and that is super that it is trending down. Now when it gets to less than one where it is supposed to be, I will be jumping for joy. Today they were able to wean his oxygen flow down. This too makes me thrilled to report!

Owen and Lilly are doing well. Owen is back on Neosure formula, and he seems to be a little more fussy at night on it. We'll see how this goes, and if it continues, back to the other formula he goes. Lilly continues her colicy evenings. We purchased a few nap nannies....(pictured to the left) and truly they seem to help with their reflux. We got a pink one, and a green one. Strap them in, and tonight Owen had his legs crossed, and propped up on the side, staring up at the ceiling fan... holding on to a rattle. He thought he was living in luxury. I think it will help with Grey as well. He is used to being on an incline.

This is now how Ms. Lillian sleeps. It has allowed us to get stretches of up to 5 hours of sleep at night. She is a houdini, in that I don't know how, but sometimes her little arm peaks out the top. Interestingly enough, she falls right to sleep when she is swaddled. We purchased some Aden and Anais swaddle blankets. They really have helped. Owen is now to the point that he doesn't even try to get out anymore. He just falls asleep. Coupled with the white noise that is on my iPod, life is usually good. (knock on wood)

Tonight I attended the moms of multiple garage sale for the northside group in Indy. As I was driving there, the leaves are changing, it's windy, getting chilly out... and I thought to myself what we were doing this time last year. We were getting ready to go to Pigeon Forge TN last year at about this time. We celebrated our anniversary there (11/9). We had many discussions on that trip. We really didn't know if we'd have our own biological children this year, or if we'd have adopted. But leaving last year, on the ride home, I said to Todd, "Well, next year, we will have a child.... biological or not; we will have a child." I realized how blessed we have been. We have 3 beautiful children. But at that same time, I think to myself what a road it has been. Not even thinking back to the infertility piece... but the NICU; Grey. I cannot allow myself to go there. I cannot allow myself to think of where we have been, and all the hurdles that we continue to jump. I cannot think of where we are... it is overwhelming. Two kids at home, that require constant attention, and one in the NICU that has my constant thoughts. Wow. But keep forging ahead is all we can do. We couldn't have done it without the help of our friends and family. For reasons listed above, I may not have done enough to show my gratitude.... but know it is sincere, and it is there. Being emotionally bankrupt doesn't really allow one to be themselves. But surely most know that. I can only hope that they know this, as it is sincere.

4 months

2010-10-20T22:19:00.009-04:00

This is Grey in a frog costume. Becca dressed him up today!

Well, they are now 4 months old.

The doctor appts went well last week. Owen was 12.5lbs, and Lilly was 9.5lbs. They are growing and progressing well.

Grey had his test this week... called a hida scan. It didn't yield the results we wanted. It didn't show any bile being dumped into the intestine. However, I talked to the liver doc today, and she still thinks that it is just TPN (iv nutrition) related injury to the liver. This should heal in time. His bilirubin went down yesterday... and the hope is that tomorrows numbers are also decreasing. The doctor was really upbeat and was pretty sure that all of this would just take time. I did do a "curbside consult" with a transplant surgeon I used to work with. His opinion is the utmost importance to me. He agreed with the plan to wait, and watch his numbers, and not do a biopsy or anything just yet. I am very happy about this, and feel more positive about it all. Grey is now on continuous feedings now, as he was having some significant diarrhea, likely related to the increased volume of feeds that he was on. So now, he just gets them continuous. This has helped a bit.

Today we took Lilly and Owen into the NICU, so that we could all see Grey, and also talk to the liver doctor when she got there. This weekend we also did some pictures for their 4 month "birthday".

Please continue to pray for Grey, his liver, and his intestines to heal and handle the feedings. He is doing well, but we really would like to get him home by Thanksgiving!

Here are some updated pics!

This is Owen in the Nicu today. He is dressed like daddy when he goes to work.

This is little happy Lilly! She was a little grumpy on our trip today... so no good pics from the NICU.

Here are the 4 month pics we took on Saturday.

Brothers. Owen is wearing Grey's party hat from their 1 month bday in the NICU.

Lilly and Grey

Liver lesson and more!

2010-10-14T22:35:00.008-04:00

First of all... update!

The kids had an appointment with Dr. Escobar today. He is a neonatologist that now sees preemies until they are 3. A few things. Owen needs to go back on Neosure (preemie formula). Not for the calories... oh no, not for the calories, but for the DHA that has proven to improve IQ and memory of the preemie population. Owen will be mowing the yard by next week!!! No more hunting for Similac Advance. They are ahead of their adjusted age (6 weeks old.. because they were 10 weeks early), but a little behind of their real age. This was ahead of what he expected for them. They tend to turn their head to the right a lot.... they always have. We are to try to feed them, change them, and play with them on the left side more so they will develop those muscles more. He changed the kids from Zantac to Prilosec. He is going to go over to the NICU to familiarize himself with Grey, and we will see him with Grey, and then again in Feb for Lilly and Owen. Oh, they can also stop their STUPID vitamin that is hellacious to give to them! YAY! They both have umbilical hernias... but this should get better on their own as their muscles grow together more.

On too Grey and the liver lesson.

Grey had a liver ultrasound today. It again was normal. They were able to visualize more of what they wanted to today. All of that was very positive. TPN (iv nutrition) is now OFF!!!! YAY!!!! He is on 100% formula, and 5 cc every 3 hours away from his goal feeds which he will be on tomorrow! He can also start to try bottle feeding if he is rooting, and wanting his pacifier! THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!

The liver is a complex organ, that has over 500 functions! (having to pull out of my brain my transplant education information)

Main functions of the liver

-makes and stores protein

-"cleans" blood

-drains bile to intestine(bile breaks down fats in the small intestine so it can be absorbed there)

-controls a lot of clotting factors

-breaks down fats

-stores cholesterol

So, when the liver fails..... all of that fails as well.

One main function of the liver is draining the bile. Biliary Atresia is usually the lack of common bile duct, or the blunting of the common bile duct which does not allow it to drain the bile from the liver into the small intestine. The bile then backs up into the liver and scars the liver, a lot of times it is an irreversable scarring that causes cirrhosis. Cirrhosis of the liver is end stage fibrosis (scarring at its worse). There are 4 stages of scarring in the liver F1-F4. Fibrosis 1 thru fibrosis 4. Fibrosis 4 is cirrhosis. Anything less than Fibrosis 4 or cirrhosis will heal. The liver is very good at healing itself if given the chance, and if the circumstances that are causing the fibrosis changes. Just a tid bit of information: If you transplant a half liver into someone (which some centers do), it will be the size and functionality of a whole liver in 2 months after transplantation. It's an amazing organ.

Grey's ultrasound today showed that his common bile duct was visualized, and was not dialated... which is super. It looked normal. The hida scan will show more of the bile ducts IN the liver, or intrahepatic duct structure. So again, going through the lack of symptoms of Grey...
Clotting fine, no fluid in his abdomen (ascites) from the lack of production and storage of protein, spleen (usually large in people with liver failure because of the overload of fluid from the liver), platelets good.

I am happy with where we are right now. He still has a ways to go with his liver, it will take a while for his color to return, and the complete function of his liver to return. All of which will just take time and healing. Still praying for normal testing on Monday!

5 hours!!!

2010-10-13T23:19:00.012-04:00

Lilly and Owen slept like rockstars... or I guess that would be opposite of rockstars last night. They slept from midnight until 5am. It was definitely paradise! It may have been a fluke, but, we'll take it! We have md appointments coming in the next few days.

Grey's hida scan was moved to Monday. I talked with his liver doc today, and she is not thinking that he has biliary atresia, as all the lack of symptoms I noted in yesterdays post... she just wants to do the hida scan for completeness sake. She then went on to tell me that she had a little boy in a similar circumstance, actually had an abnormal scan, but overall it was just the iv nutrition that caused issues with him as well. I felt much better with that. He had a kidney doctor see him today. He has had some high blood pressure, that has been transient. They are going to change his medicine, and we will follow up with them when he is discharged. His renal ultrasound was normal. All and all, I think we are still status quo. Just dotting some i's and crossing some t's.

Here are some pics that I have taken or gotten of Mr. Greybear!

I'll try to post a "liver lesson" tomorrow... explaining what they are looking for in Grey, and an overview of anatomy and physiology.

Winston Churchill...

2010-10-12T22:41:00.005-04:00

I saw a card today that I picked up for someone close to me.... It was a Winston Churchill quote that said- If you're going through hell, keep going. Hmmm... how fitting for me as well. Don't get me wrong, my children are the apples of my eye, the loves of my life, reasons for being, and they bring me just pure joy. I love them. I love my life. I love my friends and family. Having Grey in the NICU for 4+ months... has been indeed that... hell. I guess the one positive thing is I have made some friends in the NICU nurses that I never went into pregnancy, nor the NICU expecting to come out with. But friends, is sometimes an understatement for these ladies that care for, or have cared for those little joyful fruits of our labor!

On a few other random notes...

Jasmine is quite happy at the moment. She ate 3 snickerdoodle cookies off the counter tonight. Nevermind the fact the container was closed, and pushed to the back of the counter. She will be feeling that tomorrow... or tonight. Seriously, if she pukes in the house, I will be soooo mad at her!

Aunt Sally- I forgot to call you back tonight after talking to mom about scoring us some ready made formula in Kendallville.... I'll email you tomorrow! Lol!

Similac- GET YOUR CRAP TOGETHER! It's so nice that you have discounted the ready made formula, but honestly, searching all over Indianapolis for it is just not in my schedule right now.

Lillian and Owen are doing quite fine. They have 2 md appts this week. One with the genetics guy that sees all the NICU babies. I think they go through their milestones and such... Dr. Escobar. That's thursday 10:00. Then Friday at 2pm, they have an appointment with the peditrician to get their 3 month shots, and a check up. Lilly has been a bit fussy lately, especially in the evening. She has had a runny nose and a cough, although tonight, she seems to be better.

Grey man is doing just fine. They are increasing his feeds, and transitioning him to formula from breastmilk. His IV nutrition is still not off, should come off later this week. His liver numbers did jump up today. The liver doc wants to do a hida scan on him, and with the prep that he needs, the soonest it can be done is Friday. The condition they are checking him for is called biliary atresia. Although in my brain, and heart... I believe his liver issues are just from his IV nutrition. Biliary atresia is something that is helped by surgery some times, but other times a liver transplant is needed. And, sometimes the surgery is just temporary, and down the line a transplant would be needed. I go through his symptoms in my mind.... he has no ascites (fluid in his belly) his clotting numbers (INR, platelets) are super, his spleen isn't enlarged, his gallbladder looked fine on ultrasound....um, I really just think that it's damage from the IV nutrition, and not a congenital abnormality.
Please pray that this is the case. Grey needs no more surgeries, no more issues... he's due for a little bit of luck (if you will).

Here are some of the pics that are recent. I have a ton of cute Grey pics... I just need to download them off my phone. They will be coming soon!

Great week for the kids

2010-10-08T22:23:00.002-04:00

Just wanted to give everyone a quick update.
First and foremost, Grey is doing spectacular. He is taking his feedings by tube, and is 75% to his goal feeds for his weight. His swelling has seemed to disappear, and he is having bowel movements as we hoped. The doc will be shutting off the iv nutrition tomorrow, and we are still looking at a goal of getting him home by Halloween, or maybe the week following. It is likely that he will come home with a feeding tube that is temporary.... and we'll have to maintain that, but seriously... this is a small task compared to what he has gone through. I held him today for quite some time, and he was less grouchy it seemed. More alert. It was quite nice. I also gave him a bath. Seems the little man needed it. So happy to report that!

Lilly and Owen are doing super. Lilly continues to have her fussy periods at night. She is not taking as much food as she used to...comparing it to a few weeks ago. She isn't vomitting like she used to, and really spits up only once or twice daily. Maybe she is just keeping more calories on board, therefore, does not require the volume... I don't know.
We did have our first experience with a night nanny. She offered some different techniques for caring for the kids. She told us about a book called the "Happiest Baby on the Block". Although some of the techniques may be a little "out there".... they honestly seem to work. Swaddling is actually the staple to the technique. When they first get swaddled, they resist for about a minute or two, and then, they seem to sleep quite well after that. She also introduced us to "white noise". Which is kind of odd. It is supposed to mimic the sounds that the babies hear in the womb. Thinking back... if you hear what it is like to go under water in a lake with a lot of activity going on above, and in the water with the boats, it sounds the same way. Kind of like static. So indeed white noise is like static. The book says to play this loud while they sleep. I found it rather obnoxious, but I did buy some tracks on iTunes, and played it a few feet from their pack n play. Not loud, just enough so they could hear it. They slept for 4 hours. It was a dream. I then decided to see if there was any medical studies on this, and indeed... there is. I guess nobody really knows what an infant thinks, but I can't help to think that since they go to sleep faster, and stay asleep longer... even though it's a little "out there"... it works. Many will say it does, and I wouldn't have continued it if it didn't, but it does. Owen got a little sweaty last night. So, I took off his sleeper, and put on a onesy with socks, and he slept super in his burrito like state. I need to read more about it, but it does oddly enough, work.
We loved the night nanny, and plan to get one from the agency once or twice a week until the feedings are stretched for a little longer than 3 hours consistently. It was nice to have a different perspective on some things that I hadn't thought about, or didn't know about. Talking to some of the NICU nurses they agreed that do what works, and swaddling and noise has been used for years to help babies sleep. I feel like we made a move in the right direction.

It was good to work this week. Nice to get back in the swing of things. It's nice to have my in-laws watching Lilly and Owen just downstairs, so when I come down for lunch, or to get a drink... I can look at their pretty little faces.

We've had some adversity with some other things this week. I pray they go away. I have all I can handle right now.

Keep moving along

2010-10-03T01:15:00.002-04:00

Well, life continues to keep moving. The kids are doing well here at home. Lillian is still having some colic at night. Although we have decided to use this time to give her a bath, and that calms her down for a while. Owen is doing well. He and Todd went to see Grey today in the NICU while Lilly and I put clothes away.... well, I put clothes away and organized, she cried. Owen is sleeping much better. He still enjoys his food, but who can fault him for that. They have had a few nights when they have gone 4 hours between feedings, and then during the day, they have eaten every 3 hours. Either way, I feel we are on the verge in the next few weeks of eating every 4 hours. The full day that they did it was super!

Grey is doing well. He is up to 45ml every 3 hours of breastmilk, however... he isn't eating it by mouth yet, just down his tube. He is pretty testy when he is messed with, just like after the last surgery, but we'll have to work with him again, and get him back to where he was before. His blood pressure was high today. I am guessing that he is going through some narcotic withdrawl. He may have to go on a steady narcotic pill like methadone for a little while, and wean off so the withdrawl doesn't hinder his feedings etc. He did vomit a few times today.... he may be hitting his breaking point that they will slow down on increasing his feedings for a bit. He did have a liver ultrasound and a peds liver md was consulted. It sounds like the liver ultrasound was normal, and the doc was unimpressed with his labs etc. Which.... THAT'S GREAT! Chances are, once he is off his IV feedings, his liver will slowly improve. That's what we want!

I restart work on Monday. I'm looking forward to it actually. My in-laws will be watching the kids most of the week. Night nanny will come Monday and Wednesday nights. Thursday night, my mom will do. Todd will do Friday and Saturday night, I will do Sunday and Tuesday nights. We'll see how it all works out. The tricky thing is getting up to the NICU to see Grey. My anxiety level seems to creep up when I'm not able to go. We're going to have to do something about having time to get there.

Thanks for the continued prayers. Grey is doing great, but still has a journey ahead of him... but all indications is he will be a little fighter that will pull through and strive!

More Progress

2010-09-29T23:05:00.008-04:00

We have so much progress, I feel like beaming ear to ear.
Let's start with the most progress.... GREY!!!
Grey is doing spectacular. He is doing well on his nasal canula. He is getting feedings, and is also stooling. He still has a ways to go with increasing the volume of feedings. Right now he is getting 10 cc every 3 hours (1/3 of an ounce). He needs to be at about 2-3 ounces before we can consider bringing him home. That is, he needs to be stooling, and tolerating the feedings by gaining weight, not vomiting, not heaving... etc. Either way, it's progress. They did an echocardiogram today to see why his heart looked a little big on xray. It was absolutely normal. Again, more great news! Apparently he just has a lot of love! :)

Owen rolled over tonight in his pack n play. I think he got so mad he wasn't getting picked up, he rolled from his tummy to his back. Wow... he gets mad!

Lillian... well, no progress. But not having progress is okay for little Lillian. As "Aunt Brooke" would say, she's perfect anyway!

Nurse Erin is coming over tomorrow to visit and play with Lillian and Owen. It will be nice to have expertise in the house!

I have a goal to get done this week. I need to go through the clothes that we have aquired from both my neighbor(THANK YOU JEN!!!) my inlaws and parents (AGAIN THANK YOU!) and showers and put away the preemie stuff. Lilly is comfortably in newborn stuff, but Owen is in 0-3 month clothes. Grey is still in newborn right now. I need to organize and mark things so we can keep them all straight etc. hmmm... yeah, just thinking about it makes me tired!

good feelings

2010-09-28T22:02:00.003-04:00

Grey is off the vent. Not really as planned however, it seems it kind of came out early this morning, and he has been doing well since then. I was able to hold him today and spend some precious time with him, and he opened his eyes a bit, and made his little chipmunk noises... which is so good to hear again. I feel pretty good about where he is right now. They started feedings!!! YAY! It seems to be digesting, as it isn't still left in his stomach when they are done. His liver numbers were down a bit, and his kidney numbers and CBC looks great.

Lilly and Owen are going through some colic I think. Seem to be really fussy in the evenings. I think I finally have enough formula until it will be back on the shelf.

We went ahead and hired a night nanny agency. I figured we needed to get it secured for next week.... and go from there. SO, 2 nights of a night nanny, one night my mom is going to do the night shift, and my inlaws will be here the next day to take over until my mom wakes up etc.

Tomorrow Todd works from the NICU, and I think we might be able to have lunch and visit with Grey. Looking forward to that!

status quo

2010-09-26T23:14:00.003-04:00

Everything is status quo with everyone.

Grey- he is doing well. He is still on the ventilator, they are just slowly weaning the pressures. I am hoping that he will be off by the end of the week. I am also hoping that the surgeons start feedings this week as well. The sooner the better.... as long as it isn't too soon.

Lillian, well, she was awake nearly all day today. I don't really know why, but she was a bit cranky. She is now warn out and sleeping.

Owen is just Owen. They are an hour late on their schedule because I foolishly thought that they were going to go 4 hours on a feeding, which they did.... but now they are back on their every 3 hour schedule, just late.

Reinforcements are here tonight, so I am off to bed. I wish my inlaws luck with them, hopefully they aren't as rowdy as they have been all weekend.
Next week it's back to work for me, so this is my last week off. We are still trying to work out the logistics of all of that. Since I work at home, it will be nice. However working at home, still requires sleep... hmmmm...
Anyone know a night nanny that would come for under $25 an hour? That really may be our only option, atleast until we are on 4 hour feedings. Imagine 2 less feedings a day?? Paradise!

Hurdles

2010-09-24T01:25:00.002-04:00

Grey continues to improve. He is weaning on the ventilator, his wound looks great, his kidney numbers have normalized. We now wait for him to poop so we can start feedings, and get his liver happier. Hoping he gets off the vent this weekend.

Lilly and Owen are doing well. The formula issue continues to be a hurdle. Everywhere is OUT of formula. Thank goodness for the NICU. Erin H that was taking care of Grey today gave me a days worth. I got 2 days worth at CVS and that was all they had. Heather gave me enough to get me through... maybe another 2 days. CVS said they wouldn't have another shipment in until next Friday. Marsh said the same. Hell will freeze over before I get my formula at Marsh again. I went there today to return what I had bought, and the manager was "on break". I knew complaining to a high schooler would fall on deaf ears, nonetheless someone that didn't give a crap... nor would I have at 18 years old. Interestingly enough, all of their formula was off the shelf with signs all over about the recall. hmmm.. think I'll call them tomorrow on the phone and give them a piece of my mind. But, that might just take more energy than I have. Dr. Simon the neonatologist taking care of Grey is going to give me the Similac rep's cell phone number, in case of issues like this again. That will be helpful. If all else fails, little Owen will go back on Neosure (Lilly's high calorie formula) for a while. I just hate switching him back and forth. Dogs don't even handle that, let alone an infant.
I was up alot last night, for obvious reasons. My mom took over at 9am, and I slept from 10 or so til 2pm. It was quite nice. What was really nice was hearing Erin's voice on the phone cause she was taking care of Grey. It's nice to call in to the NICU, and know for sure that he is well taken care of by someone that cares for him. Again, thank you primary nurses for that piece of mind!

Self pity....

2010-09-23T03:15:00.002-04:00

Allow me to have some self pity for just a second.
First of all the kids are good. They are slowly weaning the vent on Grey. We set a goal to get off the vent by the end of the weekend.
Owen and Lilly are fine, no real issues...

Similac.... I'm not a big fan of Similac right now. I saw on the triplet mom message board at 1045 pm that Owen's formula (some of it) was being recalled. Looked at our supply, after trying for 2 hours to check online because the site was busy, and calling repeatedly to the number... I finally got through. Yep, our whole stock, recalled. So, if I don't want the possiblity of Beetle larvae in the formula, I'd better find him some. Off to CVS (24 hour... cause they are all closed). CVS, wasn't aware there was a recall.... Walgreens, had no formula left... Off to Marsh. I asked when I got in there because they were stocked to the gills... Was this all gone thru to see if any of it was recalled? Manager says "Yep". Super, I think.

Got home, thought, well,... I have some time before they eat, I'll look these cans up. To my dismay, they are ALL FLIPPIN recalled. All $90 of the formula I bought. By this time, it's 2am. I call a friend that I knew would be up to vent, and see if she had any suggestions, and Heather Myers a triplet mom I met in the NICU of course was up, and has some samples. SO, we met at the 96th street McDonalds at 245, and back now just in time, the kids are just now waking up. Heather, if you read this... THANK YOU....
And then I wonder to myself. Why? Seriously.... I want a break. Can't you just give me a break for one week. Please LORD cut us some slack for just a little while. I try not to ask why... I try not to, and I am DONE asking... but there was just a few moments in the car, on the way to get formula for my little Owen that I just asked God, please, please, lower the drama threshold for a few days. Then I laugh at myself, crying in the truck, realizing it can be much worse. And, it can be. So my self pity is over.

A good day

2010-09-21T23:35:00.006-04:00

Grey had an excellent day today. He successfully got off the jet vent, and is now on a regular ventilator, with moderate support. I walked into his room this morning to him laying there with a sign in his bed that said, "I am going to get off of the jet vent today." Becca, his nurse was practicing positive affirmations with him. Once he was off, she crossed out the GET, and wrote STAY off. There is nothing better than the creativity of a NICU nurse!

He got his wound vac put on. I was telling Todd about it, and he google imaged it before he came to see Grey. Just a word of warning.... don't do it. They are some ugly wounds. Little Grey's wound is clean, not ugly like those. Here is a picture of the machine and the sponge.

Here's the principle of the wound vac. It is a machine, that is connected by suction to a sponge that is cut and molded to the inside of the wound. There is a clear dressing that is placed on top of it, that creates suction when connected to the machine. The suction is there to put negative pressure on the inside of the wound, and it creates new tissue by stimulating more circulation in the wound. It keeps the wound clean, as any secretions of the wound are sucked into a canister, and it keeps it dry. It doesn't hurt him, just likely feels weird once the initial suction is established. It's changed daily by the physical therapy at Peyton Manning Children Hospital. They come over to the NICU and change it. I think this will heal the wound much faster than it would have normally. It is a clean wound, and really has great tissue formation on the inside from what I've seen. (This is when I'm the nurse, and not the mom....)

He's very swollen today, that should improve in the next few days. Becca arranged it so I could hold him today too. I can't describe what it was like to hold him again. He tried to open his eyes, but they were too swollen to open them. Honestly, I really think he is passing gas. Every once in a while you get a wiff of something that smells like stool in his diaper... but it comes and goes. THAT would be excellent if he was passing gas. That means that his bowel connection is good, it's getting good blood flow, and it is trying to get moving again. We should expect a bowel movement in the next week. He needs to have a bowel movement so that they can start feedings again. Once they start feedings they can decrease his IV nutrition, and this will help his liver not be so angry. It's all a chain reaction.

Lillian and Owen are doing well. Owen doesn't even realize that he changed formula. He sucks it down, and doesn't even acknowledge the change. Lillian is eating better, but is a bit constipated this evening. Normally it's not even worth mentioning, but.... it has upset her since about 7pm.... meaning, she has cried since 7pm. The prune juice was given... just waiting on it to work. I never thought my life would revolve around the bowels of my children:)

The changing of the guard is tomorrow. I think my mother in law is going to stay and help my mom out this week, so I can be free to go to the NICU. I still feel like I need to be there a few hours a day to know what is going on, and not feel guilty!

Thanks for all the prayers and thoughts! Keep em coming!

Progress

2010-09-20T22:13:00.002-04:00

Progress.... with all 3 of them.
Grey is doing well. They opened up his wound Sunday, and are going to put a wound vac on tomorrow. This is something I am happy about. It will heal much faster, and less chance for further infection with the vac. I have extensive experience with this from transplant, and feel comfortable about that decision. They are also going to try him on a regular vent tomorrow which is huge progress if he does well. Praying he does well, and his bowels start working soon.

Lilly and Owen had a peds md appt. Owen is 10'7 and 22 inches long. Lilly is 7'15 and 20.5 inches long. Owen is being taken off the preemie formula, and Lilly will remain on it. They did get their 2 month shots, and seem to be fine so far.

Looking forward to Grey's progress the most I must say. Should have an update tomorrow on if he did well or not. Let's hope he does!

another good day

2010-09-19T22:22:00.002-04:00

Today was another good day for Grey. There is a little improvement, and his labs look great. They did open up his wound, and are now packing it to make it heal from the in side out. Although it doesn't look great, the wound itself looks much better. He has quite a ways to be weaned from the jet vent, but stable is good.... and we will take it. I just called tonight, and they were able to wean him again. Maybe by the end of the week he will be off the vent, although that may be aggressive.
Lillian and Owen have an MD appt tomorrow. I am looking for them to change Owen off his preemie formula, and to a regular lower calorie formula because he is growing quickly... although I bet he is still in the 20% percentile for wt. Afterall he is 3 months old.
That's all I got!
Big thanks again to my mom, sister, and in-laws for holding down the fort while we were at the hospital!
Have a good week!

Looking better

2010-09-18T20:09:00.002-04:00

Grey is looking better. He is oxygenating much better today, and they were able to wean his oxygen rate a bit. His incision looks GREAT compared to yesterday, and his vitals are still stable. YAY! Since his incision is draining a little bit, they may open it up tomorrow a little bit at the bedside with some local anesthetic and let it heal from the inside out, with some packing.
I am happy with his progress. So thankful for his progress!
Lilly and Owen are truckin along. We have a peds appt on Monday for 2 month shots. Hopefully they won't be fussy that evening.
My cold is going away too, so that makes the world all look much better.

A set back

2010-09-18T01:49:00.004-04:00

Well, it's been a long 48 hours. Thursday early morning, I called the NICU, and Grey had been placed on another ventilator and was having low blood pressure problems. I got to the NICU about 4am Thursday morning, and just now getting home from that.Laura was his nurse that night, and I knew he was in good hands. I ended up staying Thursday night there.
After going on a vent called the oscillator, which theoretically should have helped, he had to go to a vent called the jet vent. The jet vent gives him about 300 breaths per minute in order to keep him oxygenated. Thursday during the day he required maximal support with the vent, and multiple medications to keep his blood pressure up. He was basically a patient that needed 2 nurses to take care of him. Thanks Shelly, and everyone that helped!
Thursday night, he seemed to turn a corner, and they were able to wean off the blood pressure meds. Today he was up and down. Although his vitals are mainly stable, his respiratory status is a little less stable. He is still requirying a lot of ventilator support, and not able to wean down the support at all... but maintaining his own on what he is on. His incision from the surgery is red, might have a little infection below the skin, or it just might be inflammation from being pulled so tight from the surgery. Surgery is aware, and increased his antibiotic coverage and doing a few different labs to watch it a bit closer.
I just called, and his blood gases are better and stable still... which is a definite plus. I think looking at Halloween for a discharge date is a little unrealistic right now. His bowel isn't even remotely thinking about working, blood flow to the bowel right now, is our main goal. Going to set a new goal of Thanksgiving. As long as my Grey is healthy and well, he can stay as long as he wants.
I just want to thank Becca, Brooke, Erin, Shelly, and Laura for taking care of my little Grey. Even the nurses that weren't there taking care of him, took time out of their schedules and called in to the nurse taking care of him to see how he was doing.
It is a set back for Grey. In times like these, I find myself being the old ICU nurse. The person that puts up a guard to protect my emotions. I'm having a hard time not doing that, and just being a mommy to him. I think he knows it's me talking to him, as when I did a few times today, his heart rate went up, and he squeezed my fingers. But he needs to heal, and that will come from rest which will help his lungs be more compliant with the ventilator. Gosh I love that little man, but walking into that room is heart breaking at times. I pray that he will be ok, and will come out on the other end of this a healthy, happy little boy. Please join me in that prayer. I'll update as time allows. Please also pray for my mom, sister, and in-laws that have taken on Lilly and Owen duty! They have done a great job so far! Thanks to them as well for helping us out and letting us be where we need to be!
Thanks again everyone!

post surgery

2010-09-16T02:45:00.003-04:00

Not a good night in the NICU for Grey.
His blood pressure dropped, his urine output has dropped. He is now on a ventilator called an oscillator which delivers 700 breaths per minute to keep his oxygenation where it needs to be, and IV medication to keep his vital signs stable.
This can definitely happen after surgery, we knew it could happen.... it doesn't make it any easier to wait it out. Please pray for him, and us. He is a strong little boy, but, Dear God, please help him through this, and quickly!

surgery is done!

2010-09-15T19:49:00.003-04:00

Surgery is done. Grey did fine. It's nice to see him without a bag on his belly. He is still on the ventilator, which is the plan for a few days to allow pain control medicine to be stronger. The surgeon said it was a fairly difficult surgery, but that it went as good as can be expected. We now wait for him to poop, and slowly wean him off the vent. Then they will slowly start feedings, and go from there. Still in need of thoughts and prayers that he continues on the right path, and that he has no complications!
I think I'm getting a cold.... urgh!
Got the Traverse back.
Very tired....

Looking ahead

2010-09-14T21:02:00.006-04:00

First of all, Todd brought to my attention today that there wasn't a "solo" picture of Hendrix on the blog. This is a dog we got from Northern Lights Sled Dog Rescue in 2004. http://www.petfinder.com/shelters/northernlights.html So, if you want a good northern breed, and are a good pet owner... or just want to donate... they are a great organization. He is a very good dog. As you see, he doesn't miss a meal but is otherwise very patient. He doesn't have a lick of sense... but gosh, I love that dog!

OH, we get the Traverse back tomorrow. I will appreciate that truck a lot more. I missed my XM, OnStar, Navigation, back up camera and sun roofs.... That little dodge crossover just wasn't cutting it! ;)

Now on to the kids...

We went to see Grey today. He was good. Kind of emotional when we left. I made Owen and Lillian give him a smooch good bye.... well, in preemie standards it was a kiss. Here is their last picture together with Grey when he has a bag. Grey has an IV in his arm, so he can only have one arm in his sleeve. I staged them wittingly I might add, with their NICU orange pacifiers, which Owen really doesn't like, Lilly prefers them, and that's all Grey knows. I thought it was cute.
Wish us luck tomorrow.... his surgery was bumped up to 1pm.... please pray all goes well, he comes off the ventilator quickly, and he has no complications. I'll update when time allows.

Surgery is set!

2010-09-13T23:14:00.010-04:00

Grey's surgery is set for Wed at 2pm. I spent the morning with him today, as he was supposed to have a procedure. They were unable to pass a catheter through his stoma.... so they will do it in surgery instead. I read to him, and rubbed his little head. Brooke had him yesterday, so he was still sporting a mohawk!

Lilly and Owen are doing well. Still having reflux, but nothing much new with them. Lilly is feeling much better on her Neosure with cereal. I am going to take them in to see Grey tomorrow so they can all cuddle before he goes to surgery on Wednesday. Here is a pic of Owen with his collar "popped" given ya the PEACE sign!

Lilly is stretching.... getting ready for her Neosure and cereal!

This is Jasmine on the couch.... zonked because she is on benadryl for her allergies.... well, and 2 crying babies!

Grey and his intestines......

2010-09-11T19:20:00.008-04:00

There once was a boy named Grey.... Grey Nolan Maurer to be exact. He was born to give his parents a run for their money from day one!

About 3 days after birth Grey stopped having bowel movements, and had upon looking at the xrays of his belly large intestine that was inflammed and distended. On June 22nd, they did a barium enema, which is a test that looks at the intestine with xray after the contrast barium is injected per his rectum. It showed that something wasn't right in his intestine, and needed to go to surgery. He was, on that day, 1lb 13 oz (he lost wt after birth).

Once in surgery they found that he had a small hole in his mesentary. Mesentary is the tissue that holds the large intestine in place in the abdomen. It was just a freak thing, that many newborns may be born with, however.... his small intestine (jejunum) had gotten looped into it, and had started to cut off the circulation to his small intestine.

There are 3 parts to the small intestine. The duodenum, jejunum, and illeum. After the ileum, there is a valve called the ileocecal valve, and that leads into the large intestine (colon)... which is broken up into the asending, desending and transverse colon.

SO, long story short, they took 1 cm of his jejunum out because it was damaged. That is a short amount that was resected (or taken out). When he was brought back up from this surgery, they said that just proximal (before) to this area, the jejunum looked "ugly". Meaning it didn't have very good blood flow. But, as the surgery went on, it looked ok, and they were going to give it a chance to get better.

On July 23rd, it declared... it wasn't going to get better. It died. Making Grey septic, and near death himself. So 10 more cm of the jejunum was removed. After both surgeries Grey was left with an ostomy.

After parts of the intestine are removed, a lot of times patients are left with stomas and ostomies. This means that if part of the intestine was removed at the jejunum, it is cut there, and the healthy portion is brought to the surface of the skin and a bag is put on it. So food goes from the mouth, then stomach, then duodenum, then the jejunum.... and out into the bag. The reason they do that is usually DISTAL to the injured area (in Grey's case the ileum, and the whole colon) gets inflamed due to restricted blood flow etc. At that time, the part of the intestine that is no longer connected together(remember the bag is now where it would be connected)... that portion is brought up to the skin too. Usually this is to rest the portion of the intestine that was damaged because the intestine proximal, or before it had alot of problems.

SO, after all of this rests, and 6-8 weeks later most of the time it can be re-anastomosed. Meaning he is put back together. The two portions of the intestines that are brought up to the skin, are just now put back together to allow the food to go from the mouth, stomach, duodenum, jejunum, ileum, to the colon... and of course out.

This is a picture of almost what it looks like, but with bags on both of the pieces of intestine that are brought up to the skin.

Some of the issues with this surgery are scar tissue. Scar tissue forms because of the manipulation and previous surgeries. This can cause injury to the bowel, or accidental injury during surgery. Also, since Grey hasn't eaten really.... he has to learn to bottle feed and his intestine that hasn't been used for a long period of time has to get used to be active, and has to move like it's supposed to, to expell feces.

In the meantime, the liver has been injured because of the IV nutrition. It is high in calories and fat. Which doesn't make the liver happy. So, slowly but surely that will recover once Grey gets to take more and more nutrition by mouth, and using his intestine to absorb it, instead of having it thru his IV.
I think I explained this as layman as I can..... email or comment if you have questions. The date is set for WEDNESDAY!!!! I can't wait to hold my little man without his little bags hanging off of him!

We got our happy baby girl back!

2010-09-11T19:05:00.003-04:00

Oh, our Lillian....
So, 6am yesterday I called Dr. Riddell... who was on vacation. I called the on-call doc, and ran everything by her, and indeed she thought we should try Alimentum. At 7am sharp, I was waiting in CVS parking lot to get it. Wow, it gives a new meaning to liquid gold.
She took Alimentum all day, and decided at 6pm that she didn't like it anymore. At 9pm, she cried thru the whole feeding, and took 1 ounce. That is way too low for her.
Todd and I talked, we decided to go back to the first formula we tried, and add more cereal. (Neosure) Glad we decided to do that, because in the middle of the night, she had 2 completely dry diapers, no urine, nothing. She has since picked up her eating, and her diapers are better. No more diarrhea either. We are going to have to just deal with the reflux unless it gets too bad. Wow, that truly was not a fun experiment. 3 weeks of playing with formula... ugh. If this doesn't continue to work, we're going to have to have a Lillian intervention. She's gonna have to just take the Alimentum... because it was working, til she stopped drinking it!

The rest of the crew is fine. Grey is hanging in there..... counting the hours until we get him put back together. I will post about that surgery and the physiology of it. It will be easier to understand that way.

Owen is doing fine. He is starting to smile when you talk to him, versus just for no reason. It's quite funny. Although, I still think the funniest thing that he does is farts in the pack n play, and since it is a plastic like material, it sounds so loud..... it's loud enough that he startles himself at times and starts to cry! lol

Tomorrow is the triplet mom outing on Morse Lake. I am really looking forward to it. I thought that I would never say that. I was actually thinking it was like a cult the first time I heard about it, because everyone was asking if I had joined, and who my mentor was blah, blah, blah. But I have to say, it's a bunch of down to earth women that have been there, and done that. I'm looking forward to spending the afternoon floating in the water without a baby monitor!

Fussiness

2010-09-10T05:15:00.004-04:00

Yes, I'm up.... Yes, I've been up all night. Not Owen, no, little Owen is happy as a little clam.
Lilly is beside herself these past few days.
Her reflux is not good. There is nothing to do for that. Sit her up after she eats, we've changed her formula to one that supposedly thickens when it gets to her stomach. Her reflux cannot be avoided. BUT, now we have diarrhea. It's gone from small frequent stools, to now 10 diapers of diarrhea in 24 hours. I even tried putting some cereal in her formula. She then acts like she is SO hungry. constantly. She's not a happy camper.
I'm going to call the pediatrician at 6am, he has "call hours" from 6-6:30 am every morning. The good thing about that, is that he normally doesn't just have you bring her in. I can tell him there is nothing significant on assessment. Her belly is fine, she has a small rash, but I think it's from milk around her neck, just like Owen has every now and then, and it comes and goes just like his. She doesn't appear to be dehydrated (YET).... she has no temp... I'm wondering if she needs a hypoallergenic formula. It seems that, that is a more common diagnosis now a days. Something like Alimentum maybe?? ugh... my poor little princess. Her crying last night drove the dogs upstairs to lay instead of clinging to me like usual.
She's asleep now as we speak, off to get 30 minutes of zzzzz's before calling Dr. Riddell.
Wish me luck on both!

T minus 1 week..... Operation put Humpty back together!

2010-09-08T22:25:00.003-04:00

Grey's surgery is 1 week from today. I have a lot of anticipation, anxiety, excitement... etc. The list goes on. We went to see Grey today, and he was awake a little, but mostly comfortably asleep. He had therapy today, so that usually wears him out, plus Todd held him for quite some time.

We know that Grey's surgery should be the easiest he's gone through. If all the pre-surgical testing is good, then likely he will lose no more bowel unless things get ugly. The issues with Grey after surgery could be one of many. He will have to learn to suck all of his food thru a nipple of the bottle. He has limited experience with this, as he gets it through his tube mostly right now. Toleration of food is an issue. He's gonna most likely have some issues with that. Not dumping all of his food into his lower small intestine, and causing lots of diarrhea issues. He will undoubtedly have reflux, and that could cause some issues with his desire to eat, or keep things down. I'm still looking at a goal of Halloween to get him home. I think that is still realistic. Only time will tell. Right now since his large intestine hasn't been used since day 2-3 of his life, it is pretty atrophied. He is getting enemas every twelve hours to stimulate some growth and function to the large intestine.... that in itself doesn't sound fun. The kid has been through so much! I can handle feeding issues. I just pray to GOD that we don't have other issues like we have in the past, like sepsis, dead gut, infection of any sort, more gut that needs to be resected etc..... I pray this is as smooth as it can possibly be!

Lilly and Owen are doing well. We weighed them today in the NICU, and Lilly was 7'5, and Owen was a wopping 9'6. I was stunned by both of those!

We are still battling the issues with the wreck. I got the police report today. I am still having back and neck pain, although it seems less severe, it's more nagging. Everytime I get up and feel the lower back ache, I am mad... mad that it is one more thing added to my plate. Mad at the inconvenience of having to go to the doctor and get adjusted, and heat and ice, etc. All because of someone not paying attention. I try to tell myself it's good nobody was hurt.... but it sure doesn't feel like nobody was hurt when my back aches at 4 am. Already being sleep deprived, backpain pushes me to the edge of the ledge..... However, there is no good that comes from stewing over it.... Getting mad just makes my coping a little harder. So, we keep trucking. Ibuprofen, don't fail me now!

Lillian... then and now!

2010-09-07T17:11:00.006-04:00

Lillian Kate Maurer, my little princess. Lillian was baby B. She liked to be transverse in my belly just like the boys, but Miss Lilly would flip back and forth from transverse to breech. I could always tell, because when she did it, it made my very nauseous. Lillian gave us a scare right before delivery as she had what was called "absent end diastolic flow" in her umbilical cord. Easily stated, it restricted the flow of oxygenated blood back to her. She was born second, but in the same minute as Grey. On ultrasound, we have several pictures of her sucking on her toes, and what looks like her looking at her hands! She was 2'6, and 14 inches long I believe. This is her first picture.

Brooke was her primary nurse in the Nicu. Brooke could be heard in the NICU telling her that "I caught you Lillian...." and also "Why are you so pretty?..." Brooke said that when she was born, she was wide awake with her eyes open. She continues that to this day. She is a looker. Loves to be awake, and looking around. Unlike Owen, she has a calm awake time that she just looks around. She watches you going about the daily routine, likes to look at her mobile etc. She was a good little baby in the NICU. She did have a heart murmur, but they both have resolved for her. Lilly makes noises like a billy goat. There is no other way to discribe it. She is going to be a talker. She likes to swing in her swing. She is currently having issues with reflux, so sitting in her boppy or carseat is currently where you will find her most. Lilly loves to stretch, and she stretches for a couple minutes before she is actually "awake".

Last week she was 6'8 and 19 inches long. She is growing like a weed! She has petite little features. On our walks, or in the car, she DOES NOT like the sun. She prefers to use the pacifiers that she used in the NICU, and is rather particular about them.

Todd and I were discussing personalities, and who we thought as a teen would give us a run for our money..... my vote is Lillian, and he agreed. She is just a delight most of the time, but when she is hungry, she is barely consolable. Of course, she will continue being a beautiful little girl, and I cannot wait to get her dolls, and dress her in frilly stuff as long as she will let me.

I also like putting her in pants and shirts, rather than her sleepers or rompers!I love this little girl!

Dog drama and a good test for Grey

2010-09-07T16:47:00.005-04:00

Saturday evening during the 9pm feeding we heard the dogs outside fighting. They never fight outside, and haven't really fought in quite some time, we have found their triggers, and have avoided fights.
Well, one of them killed a rabbit. Yes, they kill things here in the fence, so little animals BEWARE!
Hendrix ended up with the poor thing, luckily, I think it went fast. Then for the rest of the evening they obsessed on the yard, sniffing, and looking for more, digging around the trees. SO, during that obsessing and digging Hendrix tore his dewclaw. I'd like to think the rabbit bit it, and gave one last good fight and revenge... but that I'm sure isn't the case.
Off to the vet we go. Yes, he tore it ok. It was then numbed, clipped all the way back, wrapped, and it was infected. Antibiotics, pain meds and a bandage is now added to our regimen. He walks around with his little bandage like it's broken. It's pretty funny. He is carrying it, and it hurts far less than it did because he is now on pain meds and abx. "Leave it to a husky to act like a bandage broke their leg", that's a quote from our vet! lol Perhaps he will leave little defenseless animals alone now!
Grey had a barium enema today. Basically this is testing that has to be done before he is reconnected. This will make sure that there is no bowel injury in the colon from not being fed down there or used. It looked great. No issues. I was able to cuddle with him today, and feed him his breakfast. It was a good morning.

Idle mode

2010-09-06T17:50:00.007-04:00

We have been status quo the past few days.

Grey is set for his surgery on Sept 15th. He has some tests this week and next to get him ready. We are praying that he will do fine with the tests, and then also the surgery.

Lillian has been our challenge the past week. She started out with some reflux, (which is common, and she's had it) but that turned into spitting up, when then led to vomit. So, we changed her formula to Isomil, that didn't work. We then added cereal, which was a challenge to get her a nipple that would allow her to suck, then she started diarrhea. We then changed to Similac Sensative RS. She is still having some diarrhea, but was also arching her back, and her face was turning red when she ate, along with fussing while she ate. So, we added some Zantac twice a day. I think that is working well. She is still a little fussy, but not while eating, and she is eating much more than she was than a week ago. We will see. If the diarrhea continues it's back to the doctor we go.

Owen is doing better. He is taking more in his bottle at night, which helps I think is helping him sleep better. He is sleeping between feedings at night. (YAY!!!!)

Still waiting for the police report to make sure that the insurance stuff for the truck gets submitted to the other dude's insurance. Lawrence police administration is less than helpful. My back is still tender to say the least. It doesn't help that resting isn't in my near future. The rental car is fine, it just smells like it's been smoked in a time or two.

Help is doing well at the Maurer house. My inlaws are staying Sun-Wed, and my mom is staying Wed-Fri. That does allow for some consecutive sleep, and help getting back and forth to the hospital to see Grey.

Here are some recent pics.

Here is Owen ready for the Colts season!

Lillian in her bouncer

All 3 laying in Grey's bed .... all of them crying!

You're gonna miss this....

2010-09-02T00:20:00.003-04:00

Grey's latest pics... He loves his pacifier!!!

You're gonna miss this

You're gonna want this back

You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast

These are some good times

So take a good look around

You may not know it now

But you're gonna miss this- Trace Adkins

I heard this song today, and I have thought long and hard about it. I will miss this. I will miss the NICU when Grey comes home. (even though we will celebrate like no other!) By the way GI surgery didn't budge on the surgery dates... SO, Sept 15th is the day that Grey will be reconnected together. Prayers for that day are definitely needed. He is doing great.

I'm gonna miss Lilly's little cry. It will soon get louder, and more adament. I'm gonna miss changing formulas, adding cereal, taking it out, making 1000 bottles a day, making her sit up in the carseat for about 18 hours a day (a little exagerated). I'm gonna miss trying to figure out if she has a belly ache, or just wants to cry, or what nipple works best for her and her formula.... and on and on!

I'm gonna miss Owen's squeel. Miss his little face that scrunches up when he's mad, and how he is so insistent on the his bottle right when it is due. I'm going to miss his little moans after every gulp of his bottle, and his smiles that occur so randomly.

I'm gonna miss the chaos of both of our families coming in and out. Sleepless nights, laying on the nursery floor, listening to my babies cry.... wishing that the hours would tick by until Todd gets up to takes over. Holding their pacifiers in their mouth because they aren't quite that coordinated yet. WOW, there is a lot I am going to miss.

Because, let me be clear, these are the only children I will birth! After a hellish pregnancy, when I think REALLY hard, there are things about it that I miss. Triplet pregnancies are no joke as I said before, but I really didn't fair well. I am NOT going to miss the pain... pain all over my body, every joint that moved, and muscles I didn't even know I had. I will not miss the carpal tunnel, the reflux, the sleepless nights from not being able to breathe unless I was sitting up. But, I miss the movement in my belly and trying to figure out which one it was. I miss the ultrasounds, because I got them a minimum of every 2 weeks. I miss the anticipation of meeting them, and what they will look like. But I do not miss any of that enough to do any of it again!!! lol

So I guess I am posting this to remind myself that even though these last weeks have been hectic, I need to savor the moments that I have with each one of them. Sooner or later, they will be grown, they are already mostly out of preemie clothes, and Lilly is finishing up the preemie diapers.... so yes, I need to savor the moments.

One thing is for sure. I love those kids. Although my husband and I have been through the ringer with just regular life, his brother passing away, infertility, the pregnancy, and our NICU ups and downs that continue, he is certainly the man I was meant to marry and I know it is corny but is my knight in shining armor when the going gets tough.

Here are some pics from recent days....Owen is sleeping on a pillow on my sister's lap, and Lillian is practicing her cheerleading on the pillow too!

VICTORY.... for now

2010-08-29T21:44:00.007-04:00

Victory over OWEN!!!!

The last 2 nights he has slept between his feedings. What is different?? Well, I think the increased amount of formula I've put in his bottles. He is taking around 4 ounces at night, and I think that keeps him more satisfied.

Lilly on the other hand is having some vomiting issues. Not just spit up... vomit. I called the peditrician Friday, and we switched formula to Similac Isomil which is a soy based formula. We are mixing it to get 22 calories per ounce, instead of the standard 20 calories per ounce. She has slept in the carseat the past few nights, and it seems to have helped. The minute you lay her down.... she vomits all over again. So, the carseat it is.

Grey is doing well. GI surgery set his reconnection surgery for Sept 15th.... which, just doesn't work for me. They said the 6th-15th.... and I have said before that I thought it was just to keep me "quiet" but, to then say the 15th.... really makes me a bit unsatisfied. I am going in tomorrow am to talk to them and see if we can move it up. 1 week more is just a lot for him, it's a lot for us, it's just too much. I will see what they say.... the worst thing they can say is no, and I might still stomp my feet a bit. His IV access is not really sitting in the right place because he has grown, and they are going to replace that in surgery, which is just one more reason to do it early. SO, I'll see what they say. If they could compromise to the week before, I would be happier.

Here are the latest pictures of the little man....

Here he is talking to Mommy.... Then after I told him he had to stay a bit longer....

This is Grey with his favorite stuffed animal the frog!

The Cross

2010-08-25T19:18:00.005-04:00

Update: Lillian and Owen are doing great. Since the wreck, they have been no different. Cementing the idea that we all should have infant carseats. The truck isn't a total loss. It has $12000 in damage to it. I am now driving an Enterprise Dodge Journey, and will have my truck back in about a month.
Grey is doing well. We are counting down the days til the week of Sept 6th when he will have his intestines put back together, and we can get that little man home!
I talked to my friend Kristi that was with us in the wreck, she seems to be doing ok. I on the other hand am having some numbness in my left leg and ankle.... I called the doctor, she told me to rest, ice and heat, and stay flat.... LOL, isn't that a funny concept!

I wanted to take time to blog about a cross I received a few years back from one of my patients I took care of in the St. Vincent's ICU when I worked there. Although I won't give out any names, (darn HIPPA) I just want to blog my feelings, and how motherhood has changed me, and how faith has molded me.

I took care of a man in the CICU at St. V's in 2003 I believe. A man that had a family of gold I think. This patient I never had the pleasure of talking to, never had the pleasure of encountering while he was awake, never had the pleasure of listening to him about his love for his family ..... but nevertheless, I know he was a special man. A man that had a strong enough family to sit beside him day and night. A man that's family came from different states to sit by him, talk to him, and just look at him while he laid in a coma. A man that didn't make it out of the ICU alive, but touched so many lives when he existed here on earth. This was evident by the amount of people at his funeral, and the genuineness of his family. One of only 3 funerals of all the patients I took care of that I have attended. I took care of this gentleman at a time in my life that was difficult. The economy had affected the job of my husband, I was married not to long before that, and I was having burn out in my career as well. At this time in my life, I needed them for me, just as much as they needed me to take care of their dad/husband. I know that sounds weird for a nurse to say, but there is no other way to put it; it is the truth. They renewed my love for my career, and more importantly renewed my need for faith.
One morning before this gentleman passed away, his son came to the nurses station and gave me a cross. He told me a story about this cross, that I never forgot. It was a cross that he had gotten on his honeymoon in the ancient city of Corinth in Greece. I believe it was at a small street vendor. He gave one to his mom, his wife, kept one for himself, later I learned he slipped one into the casket before it was closed, into his father's hand.... and gave one to me. He told me what I meant to their family, and how important his father was to him.... and he would miss him deeply. I took my lunch shortly after that, and cried. It hit me at that time what an important person my patient was, and how he was going to be missed so dearly by his family. This cross touched me so much. It has continued to touch me since that time.
I have prayed with this cross numerous times. Every time I look at this cross... I remember this family, and their father.... how awesome their love was for one another.
Most recently when Grey was sick, I prayed with this cross. After 7/23/10, I brought this cross to the NICU every day for quite some time, and when it was just Grey and I, I would stick my hands in the isolette, tell him I love him, and touch him with this precious cross. This cross has given me hope, given me faith, and given me the strength to go on when Grey was in the gravest of conditions. This cross is special.
After saying all this about this family, that patient, and this cross.... I have to say that I have nothing as special as the cross to give to the primary nurses that took care of our kids, and that now take care of Grey. Erin, Brooke and Becca... I cannot thank you enough for the love and care that you have given our kids, and now, especially Grey. I cannot thank you enough for the comfort that you have given us.
Laura, Kari, and Lindsey, I cannot tell you how it feels great to call in each night and know that you are taking care of Grey.... I know he is in good hands.

So this whole post is about the cross... and what it signifies to me... but also love and family. They are all important!

Whiplash....

2010-08-22T19:50:00.007-04:00

Well, never a dull moment. Although, just when I get infuriated about the accident, I realize it could have been so much worse.... like we could have been seriously hurt.

So, Saturday... I had a friend from Louisville come to visit, and stay the night. Todd was given the "ok" to go golfing so he could get away a bit too. Lilly, Owen, Kristi, and I were on our way back from a great visit with Grey when it happened. Turning off of 79th on to Sunnyside in the Lawrence area we got rear-ended. Rear-ended enough to cause us to hit the car in front of us, and then that car hit the front of them. We were hit hard. A four car accident. We were hit hard enough that the person that rear-ended us, his airbags were deployed. Both his car, and our Traverse(with less than 2000 miles on it) were not driveable. Bye bye my little Traverse. I'm thinking it's likely totaled. Somehow there is damage to 3 sides of the vehicle. Fluid leaking from the radiator, and 2 doors that could not be opened on the passenger side.

Let me just say the Lawrence police and fire department were phenominal. The police gave us a ride home, as Todd was on his way home from golfing. Once Kristi and I started to get more and more sore thru the night, that evening we loaded up and went to the ER because I wanted to make sure the babies got checked out as well. It turns out that we should all sit in Peg Perego car seats, as they faired better than we did. Kristi and I on the other hand are a bit battered and torn. The ER doc gave us valium for the whiplash and the muscle spasms in our backs and necks. Kristi was so funny, she took hers... and when I woke her up to tell her to go to bed from the couch, she asked if "Is Tiffany going to bed too?". She then laughed, noting it was me that woke her up.

So, my in-laws came today to help out so I could take meds and rest. Todd went to get 3 new carseats, because once they are in a wreck, they need to be discarded. No rental car was found yet, as Enterprise doesn't deem Sundays as a day that people need cars. An SUV or Minivan to rent will run us $600-$800 A WEEK to rent, but this is a necessary evil. With the stroller, and 2 carseats, and Grey likely will be home in 6 weeks or so.... it is necessary especially if the truck is totaled, and we will have to order a new Traverse. So, this week will be a barage of calling the insurance companies, to get them to claim fault, so we can get the show on the road!

BUT, like I said.... just when I ask GOD why.... I know that he thinks we can handle it, I suppose... and it could have been worse.

So, I'm requesting prayers not only for Grey, (who is doing awesome, might I add) but also for my (and Kristi's) back, neck and joints. I feel terrible, but hopefully in a few days I'll be like new!

Then and Now.... OWEN

2010-08-18T22:02:00.009-04:00

Updates: Went to see Grey today. He was doing well. I held him, and he had his eyes open for quite some time! I love that little man. Lilly and Owen are doing fine. Prune juice and little tummy drops have helped constipation and gas for them both! YAY!!!

I thought I would do a then and now on the kids with pictures around birth, then where they are now etc.

This was Owen Travis Maurer in his first week of birth. He was 3lbs 3 oz. 15.5 inches long. He was baby A in-utero. Owen was the baby that liked to kick... ALOT! It was not uncommon for him to kick my bladder time and time again in one day. He always measured really well before birth, and was always the biggest. He was also the first to be born. This picture is a mirror image of Todd. The characteristics I remember about Owen were he startled alot. Premature babies have a reflex called the moro reflex, in which when they are startled, they flare their hands and their arms go up by their heads. If you look at yesterday's post, Owen is startling while in the bath. It's quite comical now, but when he was wrapped up in the isolette, it seemed tramatic to watch him startle at every little bump. Erin H was his primary nurse, and she knew just what to do for him when he was upset. She would hold him tight in his isolette, and wrap him up really tight in his snuggly, and bring his hands together in-front of his chest... and he would calm down immediately if he were crying. I do remember visiting the NICU one night once I had come home from the hospital, and he was under the bili lights, and he was so upset and mad he had his sunglasses on, that he ripped them off as we watched. He is a determined little guy. That wasn't the last time he took off his equipment, just one that stuck out in my mind. This is Owen under the lights still on the vent.

Owen always kept us on our toes in the NICU too. There were a few times that he needed to be "bagged" (putting the bag-mask to his face, and give him a few breaths like you see on tv...) because when he had reflux in the NICU, he would stop breathing. He slowly transitioned from looking like a little old man, to the "beefy" infant he is today. If 6.5lbs at over 2 months old is beefy... that is he! He was the first to really "take to" the bottle. Now he does a manuever that the NICU nurses called "sharking" the bottle, which really includes lifting his head with his mouth wide open to get to the nipple of the bottle. It's very funny.... he thinks he is constantly starving. He makes the funniest faces. In his 2 month pictures, I told Todd I thought he was dancing to the Madonna Vogue song... he does some weird things with his face and hands at the same time. He likes his swing, and is taking to the birp rags that we have used for him. I think he just might be a kid that really likes a blankey. When he gets really mad, he screams and it sounds like a little piglet. Just when you think you might be at wits end with him with his screaming, he will squeel like a pig... and well, you have to laugh! Owen also likes his pacifier. If he could keep it in his mouth better, that would be super! Owen likes to be awake from about 12am-3am every morning. Let's hope this changes!

Owen really reminds me of Todd's late brother Travis. Once you see baby pictures of them both... it is very evident they look alike. Owen reminds me of the exact reasons I wanted to have children of our own. I knew that the only way I could ever possibly give Todd a piece or a reminder of his brother back, would be if we had a child that looked or had mannerisms like his brother. I know typing that seems really weird, but truly that's how I feel, and of course that isn't the only reason we wanted kids.... but I remember Travis fondly, and I really wanted to keep remembering him. I think there will be pieces of each of the children that remind us of different people in both of our families, and that is joyful to me.

This is a current picture of Owen. He's a big boy. I think he is going to get along with Grey and Lillian very well. My vision for them is that they will be close, yet not have the "triplet" label on them constantly.

Personality traits of Owen lead me to believe he will be a strong-willed little man. He is determined, especially when it comes to eating. I look forward to seeing him grow, and be who he is, and do what he was sent here to do.

Bottoms up!

2010-08-17T20:30:00.008-04:00

Updates: Lilly and Owen are doing great. Owen has decided that officially 12-3am is his awake time, and time to cry. Thankfully my in-laws have been doing the night shift. Tonight was bath time for them. Here's Owen getting his bath in the sink, and an basin from the hospital!

Grey is doing well. I was able to spend some time at the hospital with him alone today. I held him for about 2 hours, and he enjoyed that. We did some physical therapy while he was with me, and tolerated it quite well. I read to him, and he was awake for some of the time, which is nice to see. He is down quite a bit on his oxygen, which is great. We do have a date for his intestine to be put back together .... the week of Sept 6th.... which doesn't really satisfy me, but it'll have to do for now. His bilirubin did go up to 8, from 5... meaning his liver isn't really happy, but we knew that. It will recover, I'm just going to wait, and if it does get worse, we might have to have another discussion. We'll see. For now, I'm happy.

After bathes tonight, it was my daily bottle making session. 16 bottles are needed. (feeding 2 every 3 hours) 80ml (or cc's) each bottle x16 bottles = about 44 ounces, because 30cc=1 oz. Didn't realize you needed algebra to make feed babies did you? Well, I can never get the RIGHT amount in the bottles. We use the Dr. Brown's bottles, and the marking on the bottles is so light, and close together, it's hard to get the exact amount in the bottles. I also have a foam and bubble problem when I mix for 24 hours. But tonight, I started whisking it, and it turned out quite alright! This is all I need to make the bottles, and I wonder why I've had a hard time keeping things in the kitchen put away.

Neosure is the formula that we use, and we use about 1 can per day =$17.... wow.... wait til the Grey comes home on something like Elecare. Elecare is an amino acid formula (cause I will be out of breastmilk by then). The Elecare is easy for the gut to break down. Elecare is about $40 a can. I hope to become good friends with the Similac sales rep, in hopes we can get some to take home. I'll have to check with insurance too, and see if something can be worked out since it's a special formula for a medical reason... hmmm

Jasmine usually hopes to get a little taste of formula powder that falls on the floor....

Well, must go... it's about feeding time!

Slacker alert....

2010-08-16T22:35:00.004-04:00

Yeah, so the goal of posting nightly or daily isn't very easy with 2 infants at home. We have been in head to head combat with gas and constipation with both of them. Owen has gas, and Little Tummies drops have helped that. Lilly on the other hand is constipated, and tonight we started some 1/4 strength apple-prune juice, and that hasn't worked yet, but we are keeping our fingers crossed. Erin one of the super nurses in the NICU helped us out with Lilly... and then the pediatrician called and we are decreasing the Neosure formula to the regular strength rather than the higher calorie version. All and all, I hope this helps.

We loaded up the motley crew today, and went into the NICU to see Grey. He was doing well. I think today he was a little more jaundice from his TPN feedings. I'm guessing that is the culprit. They did do a urine culture to make sure he doesn't have a urinary infection, but I am doubtful, as his labs look great other than the liver labs. I might have to make a morning trip into the NICU to talk to the GI surgery team, and it might be time to tap my watch and ask for him to have his intestine reattached early. I don't want his liver numbers to get too awful before he goes to surgery, nor do I want another uphill battle. Although I am still very optomistic about his health, I am a bit concerned about this, just because any of you that have worked with surgeons know that they deal with their own timelines, and... well.... if it isn't their idea to do it, sometimes it doesn't go over well. That hasn't been my experience at St. V's so far... but let's just say, I know how that type can be. I know that there is a window of opportunity after surgery involving the stages of scar tissue. There is an optimal time to do the surgery allowing the scar tissue to form, but not become fragile etc.... so this would be the reason for waiting. But I don't want to sacrifice his liver either.... ohhhh decisions, decisions. I'll see what they say and go from there.

These pictures are from the day Lilly and Owen went home. Left to right.... Owen, Grey, Lillian. Gotta love these munchkins.

I feel like we are all settling in well. I am so thankful for all the help from my in-laws and my parents. It's a blessing to have people you can count on, and trust.

2 new best friends

2010-08-14T16:22:00.002-04:00

This is Owen's new best friend, therefore, I have 2new best friends. The swing, and Bach. He was really fussy this afternoon, and the swing and Bach put him to sleep. I think he has good taste, I much prefer Bach over Beethoven. Plus that same Bach song that I can play over and over was in our wedding for the bridesmaids to walk in. Ah.. fond memories...

Things have been chaotic, but I think it's the new norm at the Maurer house. The dogs are finally settling in again, and Jasmine is over her hunger strike. Currently they are both asleep, Lilly is in the Pack N Play, and of course, Owen in the swing.

Grey is doing well. He still gets daily visits from one of us, and both of us every other day. I'm going to take the kids there Monday, Wed, and Fridays. It gets us all out of the house, and plus Owen and Lillian both love the car rides. Most of Grey's labs have returned to normal. He does have some elevated liver function tests... this is just because he is on IV nutrition called TPN. It is hard on the liver. Once his intestines are reconnected, and he can get good nutrition that is absorbed thru his intestines, they will decrease the TPN, and this will allow his liver function tests to return slowly back to normal. Yesterday marked 3 weeks since the last intestinal surgery. Hopefully 2-3 more weeks, and they will reconnect him so he can get on the home stretch.

Well, I'm off to make some formula for the next 24 hours!

NICU photo shoot

2010-08-11T22:03:00.013-04:00

Today was a good day. My mother in law and I loaded up the kids and went to the NICU to see Grey. This is what we looked like upon arrival...

This is the million dollar stroller, that will fit Grey's carseat right where the diaper bag is. BUT, it is also worth a million dollars. I couldn't do trips without this stroller. We do draw a lot of attention. People saying, "OH, they are so little!", or "OH look at those twins..." sometimes I correct them and say little Grey is in the NICU, sometimes I just smile and keep walking. Depends if it's worth the conversation. This stroller has a steering wheel... no joke, it steers the front wheels. It's the best invention ever!

Upon arrival Grey was in his crib, resting. Then once there, (Todd was working on the computer in Grey's hospital room) we put together a photo session with the kids. Grey got to take some of his new formula thru a bottle. That was a great feeling to feed him, even if it was only about a teaspoon... he seemed to enjoy it.

Here are some more photos!

All three together

Owen helping Daddy!

Lilly whispering to Grey that she will be his roommate when he gets home!

Lilly making sure the boys are minding their mommy and daddy!

Tonight is the changing of the guard. My mom is coming, my inlaws are going home. I sit here right now, Lillian is crying in her bouncie, Owen is screaming in the swing.... can't wait til she comes! lol

My Wish

2010-08-10T22:45:00.003-04:00

"My Wish"

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,

And each road leads you where you want to go,

And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,

I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.

And if one door opens to another door closed,

I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,

If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold,

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this, is my wish.- Rascal Flatts-

This was the first song I played for Lillian and Owen on their way home from the hospital. As there were many days and long nights that I drove back and forth to the hospital listening to that song, worried about Grey and sometimes either Lillian or Owen depending on what was going on, crying. But crying isn't anything new to me these days, as it seems like hormones have gotten the best of me. But honestly the words to that song is something that I've thought about for the past few weeks. I've never really thought of children the way I think about mine, or about any other human being like that for that matter. I guess I really didn't know what being a mommy would be like. I didn't really know what I would feel like etc. I can tell you what I feel like. Bringing home 2 babies after being in a relationship for 10 years, with nothing but Todd and I (and the dogs).... is overwhelming. Our dogs Jasmine and Hendrix haven't slept in days I don't think, but overall, they are doing well. I have been emotional. Todd has been the rock, and our families have been very helpful. For so many years hoping, and praying that this day would come, now that it has I don't know how to act. I can't really explain the feeling other than... overwhelmed. There are a few things that I can tell you for sure. I love my husband, I love our families, I love these beautiful children, and although anxiety seems to overcome me at times... I look forward to the rest of our lives with these children, watching them grow, and mold into the beings they will be.

Tomorrow is another trip out of the house. Todd is working from the NICU on Wednesdays until Grey is home. I will be taking the kids to see Grey, and daddy there with my mother in law. I'll try to get some pictures of our triplet stroller.... you'll surely get a kick out of that!

a trip out of the house

2010-08-09T22:28:00.003-04:00

Well, reinforcements have arrived. My mother and father in law have been here since Sunday night, and did the night shift last night, and again tonight. I think Owen had another infamous night... in that he likes to be the king of the party! Little does he know it isn't his party, so crying isn't acceptable! It was much easier to drag myself out of bed today.

We all went to visit Grey today. Owen and Lilly were on their best behavior. They didn't make a peep until it was time to eat. They then had a peditrician appointment, and got a good bill of health. They will be 2 months on Wednesday, and Lilly was 5lb 3oz, 18 inches long. Big O was 6lb 8 oz, and was 20 inches long... just like normal newborn size!!

Grey was doing well. I held him for about an hour. He is now getting physical and occupational therapy. Todd took his bouncer seat up to the NICU tonight, and I guess he really likes it. He is in a crib now, and has a mobile on the crib that makes amazon noises. It was nice to see him. I left without crying, and that in itself is a victory. It also was nice to see all of the nurses again. Those ladies are your friends when you've been there day in and day out like we have. I really appreciate knowing that they are taking such good care of Grey. It makes it much easier to rest at night!

Here are some pics of the first night home. Owen is getting some time with daddy, and 2 of them in the pack n play!

Underestimation

2010-08-08T13:19:00.006-04:00

We are still alive. Reinforcements are coming this week. My family is coming for a while today. My mother in law is coming tonight, and helping me to the peds md appt tomorrow. My mom is scheduled to come later in the week. I hate to say I underestimated the power of 2 preemies, but I think I did. Luckily they are still on schedule, and doing fine. Grey is doing well too. His labs look better, and he starts getting feedings tomorrow. THANK YOU GOD!

But, wow, the underestimation. Underestimation of the fatigue. You know, when I did transplant, I was up all night a lot of nights when I was on call. Still had to think on my toes, make sure that the right organ was coming for the right person, and also be able to help pick who was a good suit for the organ, or organs in many cases.... I think the difference is that even though being up all night, I had to go into work the next day and function, I could still sleep a full night that night and be back on the right track. This my friends, is constant.
I also underestimated the pull to be with Grey in the hospital, and the guilt. I tend to be a guilty person, feel guilt and responisibility for things that I shouldn't... it's hard to tell if this is the case or not.
I am glad to say though, that Todd and I can do this if need be. (Atleast just with Lilly and Owen here!!!) I've come to figure out that it isn't fun, although having a few days to realize what a long way we've come from infertility to here has been worth the sleep deprivation.... but I'm done.... bring on the help!

So far so good...

2010-08-06T23:03:00.003-04:00

Well, departure time was 630 pm from the NICU. We all said good bye for now to Grey, of course I had tears, and we loaded up and were on our way. A few feedings now under our belt... and I'm sure we're in for a long night.
The dogs have really acted well. Of course they are a bit curious, but not to terrible. Will update tomorrow.

Lillian and Owen home tomorrow

2010-08-05T23:53:00.004-04:00

Lilly and Owen are on their way home tomorrow evening. Wow, it will be so nice to have them with us. Grey had a good day. His WBC is 17, and platelets are stable. It was definitely a bitter sweet day. Erin, Owen's primary nurse took care of all of them today. I can't say enough how well we love their nurses. Erin always has stories about what they've done while we've been away.... she loves her big O (Owen)! lol Luckily the kids won't be strangers around the NICU, as likely on the weekends they will be back up to see Grey to get some sibling bonding once he is feeling better!

I went to a triplet mom meeting tonight. It was actually a better than expected meeting. I didn't join any of these groups while I was pregnant because I really didn't want any preconceived notions about having triplets. I didn't want to go tonight and hear how difficult it was to take care of trips, nor did I want to have a negative feeling when I left. But it was a really good experience. It was a bunch of women, that mostly suffered infertility just like some of the stuff that we went through. They talked kindly of the kids, and offered good advise on what to do when you get home, how much and when help was needed for them.... and also just a place to sit and have time with people that have been in your shoes, and made it out alive. The experiences ranged from women that took care of all 3 children when they came home by themselves with another sibling in the house, to women that had a night nanny a few times a week. I think its just interesting the different perspectives.

Tomorrow will be interesting. I will confess that I struggle with the thought of feeling like I can't take total care of my children and family if no help were available. I struggle with the thought of knowing my family would not be well cared for if it weren't for other people. It is along the lines of how I felt when I dealt with infertility. Inately, humans were designed to "survive and procreate". Thinking that I cannot do either of those things is difficult. So, the plan is Lil and Owen will come home tomorrow evening, and we see how it goes. They are heavily scheduled right now, they eat... then they sleep. they eat... then they sleep. Feeding every 3 hours will be tough, that is no joke. But I need to if anything else, be a family with them. There are few things more valuable than the feeling of being with my husband and taking care of the kids. From the time they were born, until now, we've been in an environment that isn't all that condusive to bonding, and family time. With monitors, cords, gowns, beeping, alarms, people walking in and out...I seriously want some time with us getting used to just "being us". So, I foolishly or maybe not so foolishly want to try this weekend with no help... just Todd and I. It's not to be a martyr, not to say we don't want visitors, not to say we won't ever ask for help... that I am not foolish enough to know... but it'll be interesting to see how we can do and go from there. I look forward to the first part of our family coming home.... and boy will there be a large celebration, and maybe a small coming home party when little Grey busts out of the NICU himself!