Friday, December 30, 2011
I cannot express how happy I am with these kids. I look at them each day and after I am done running in circles, I thank GOD that I have them, and thank GOD I have my husband. I don't tell him enough, but every day life is nearly impossible without him here. For the first time in my life, I can look at my surroundings, and although it may be chaotic, I love my life. I really do. I have everything I ever wanted. I have a wonderful family both immediate, and extended. I have a great job, great people surrounding us day in and day out. I will also have to remind myself of this and reread this frequently! LOL!This is Todd and Owen napping together, something that RARELY happens.
New Years will bring a healthier me. I am sticking to my diet for sure, and Todd said he would help with that as well. Todd and I plan on going away some time likely for our 10th anniversary alone. Todd wants to go to Turks and Caicos... but I am just not sure that I want to go that far. I want to start exercising again, hoping my mesh abdomen has the same aspirations.
One of the triplet moms in our group (that has quads) has an excellent blog. She recently wrote a post that struck me, and I know a lot of my friends feel the same way. I struggle with guilt, working, having others take care of them during the days, worrying too much about how they are coming along developmentally, how we compare to what we should be doing at this age etc. I worry about wishing their lives away, as it has gotten much easier as the months tick by. I don't miss the baby stage, it was too chaotic... but I do have those guilty feelings that creep in. This is an excellent post. If you get a chance, read it. Here's the link. I also want to work on this too.
We have no plans on New Years Eve. A quiet night hopefully here. I noticed tonight that Grey had some purulent drainage coming out of his left ear, which makes sense as he has been very grumpy at night. He has no fever, and no cold symptoms... so saying little prayers that the other two remain healthy! We'll start ear drops tonight, hopefully it will nip it!
I think that's it...Happy New Year everyone!
Cheers to 2012!
Friday, December 23, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Today was the day of Grey's NICU discharge. 157 days is a very long time. Grey came home to us on an apnea monitor, an NG in his nose for feedings... and a scared little boy that had only been out of the NICU once since birth, and that was to go to the main hospital for a scan to look at his liver more closely. He didn't have very wide horizons yet. Grey came home a jaundice, yellow little boy. He barely took anything by mouth, drank about half an ounce twice a day; the rest was put down his tube for nourishment. As far as activity when Grey came home, he mainly just lifted his arms off the bed to look at his hands. He mainly looked at his right hand, but occasionally his left. He didn't yet lift his head, nor did he really try. He has just gotten off of oxygen a week before discharge, and didn't ever require it again.
We knew when Grey came home that our lives would change from the routine we had been doing. We knew it would definitely be an adjustment for him as well. Afterall, he'd not been in a car, not been in a different bed besides his isolette, only been outside once, and he had never seen our house, dogs, and hadn't smelled or heard the things that he would come to later know. We had a lot of work ahead of us, and so did he. Grey was used to his own little room, his own environment, and his own ways.... and now, he was part of our ways, our life and our environment. He adjusted slowly to all of this.
He slowly had to learn that he wasn't the only baby in the house. I think though, he adjusted better than I thought he would. At first, he needed darkness, silence, and tightly tucked blankets to make him feel like he was safe. I remember at our Christmas gathering with my side of the family the week before Christmas Todd spent the whole time up in our room rocking him, and keeping him in a low stimulation environment. We had him in therapy 3x a week that either Todd or I had to take him back to the hospital to complete. He didn't do well with going out of the house to therapy. We then consulted First Steps of Indiana which allows therapists to come to the house, and that has been a GOD send to us! Wonderful therapists, and so much easier on all of us. I remember the evaluation for First Steps with the therapists that come to the house to check out if they qualify, how developmentally they are, and what therapy they would benefit from. The therapist said to me, "He has a long way to go to catch up to where he should be. Kids like this just don't bounce back quickly. You will have to be patient with him." I remember going back upstairs to my office that day and being tearful for what Grey had already had to endure, and how it was always him that had to work harder, and do more. He recently was re-evaluated for his yearly evaluation for First Steps. The therapist that said that to me came again, and instead of bringing her toddler toys in to the house to evaluate Grey, she brought her baby toys as she remembered him from the January 2011 evaluation. The look on her face when she saw him trying to take steps, pulling himself up, and crawling up the stairs as fast as he could was simply priceless. I truly doubt that she remembers what she said to me, and I am more than sure it was no way maliciously stated.... but I said to her back, "He might be the exception to the rule, but he did bounce back quickly, and he is definitely not far from where he should be." She looked over at me and said, " I am simply amazed at how well this little guy is doing, I should have brought in my toddler toys."
With that, I will end this post.... but I again want to thank St. Vincent Woman's NICU staff, doctors, therapists, etc. Special thanks to Becca, Erin, Brooke, Cathy, Laura, Shelly, Lindsey, and Alex for keeping Grey alive, and me sane. Also, I cannot even name all of the doctors that took care of Grey, but namely Drs. Bensaad, Tauscher, D, Simon, Hendrickson, Kokaska, Maisel, Roberts and so many others.
This is Grey's last picture in his crib in the NICU
Grey's first picture at home. Notice the apnea monitor cords, his NG, yellow skin, and his 0-3 months clothes that he is swimming in:)
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Here is our zoo outing. As you can tell, they didn't know what to think of the bats, or the lady in the glass washing the windows in the enclosure. Our wagon at the zoo attracts all sorts of people. Everyone has their comment. I have to learn to have thicker sking when it comes to that. Oddly enough the people that just say stuff as they walk by, and don't ask us about them, ticks me off more than anything. Comments about people when you know they can hear you is just rude. Test me on the right day, and I'll let you know that. I decided the zoo trip was going to be fun regardless... and I just needed to get over it. Sometimes that attitude isn't easy to have. With multiples, you know you will get the comments and stares; I acknowledge that. Some people that come out with us spiratically can just accept this, and know that it is going to happen. But day in, day out of the comments when you go somewhere starts to rub you raw. Either way, I'm working on it.
Here he is questioning why these birds are diving in the water....
The sealions also threw them all for a loop!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Today Todd and I took the kids to the pumpkin patch at Tuttles Orchard. It's in Greenfield, and really close to our house. It was windy, and a bit chilly... but nonetheless we had a good time.
They have an apple orchard as well, today was the last day to pick from the trees. We originally went back into the orchard to get out of the wind, and to get a few pictures, and Owen decided that he needed to try a few apples.
Here he is trying a few samples of unwashed, dirt covered apples.
We then ventured to the pumpkin patch itself. Above you see a picture of that. It was fun. On the way out we saw a big box. We took that opportunity to put the kids in it and snap some pictures.
I don't know if you can tell, but Owen is still chewing on his dirty apple. Grey is taking a few seconds out of the experience to chew on the wood. I'll have to post about the cribs.... Grey is part beaver. He has demolished his bed. Lillian just isn't sure about any of it.
We then went to Chicago Pizza in McCordsville. Going out to eat with the kids is an adventure. We end up having to give GOOD tips to clean up after us. But, they they were good while eating, and took an excellent nap after that!
Some updates on us...
Owen, is still teething. His sleeping is hit or miss. His new thing this week is carrying his toy dinosaurs around making growling sounds to Lilly and Grey, and anyone else that will listen. He is quite the runner these days, in fact when he sees you coming for him he takes off in the other direction. He has been slacking a bit on his eating. I'm assuming it's his teeth, but I think that is quite common for toddlers as well. He LOVES shoes and socks. He will bring them to you, sit down, and put his feet on your lap. Then make caveman noises so that you know, he wants it done now please! His ear infection is resolved. I cannot wait til that poor child is done getting his mouthful of teeth!
Lillian is doing better with her walking. She will now stand up without support, and is showing more interest in walking on her own. After having the therapists look at her that see Grey, we have really worked with her. They were right, her confidence is holding her back. Her new thing is taking all of her clothes off. She will then take her diaper off as well. I do not know what is wrong with this little girl. Last night, I went into her room 3 times before 10pm, and she had disrobed each of those times. The last time, I saw her little bare butt in the air as she was laying on her belly, butt in the air, "reading" a book in her crib. She is funny. She loves to fake sneeze and cough. She will continue to do it until you say "God Bless you Lilly".... and even then, will continue to do so until she deems it boring. Grey also has caught on to that fun.
Grey.... little Grey is doing fabulous. We are starting the feeding wean process. We are awaiting a dietician to help us out, but I dont' want to miss our window of opportunity to get it started. Today he ate all 3 meals, and we just hooked him up to get some extra calories and fluid over night. It is going to be difficult to keep track of what he is 1) eating 2) throwing on the floor 3) licking and putting in his mouth, and throwing 4) drinking 5) what leaks out of his cups when he throws it 5) what he is drinking, and not Lillian and Owen are drinking from his cups. All of this needs to be assessed so we know what he is taking in, and how we need to supplement his fluid intake. After researching, and talking to the doctor about doing a wean of the tube feeding, it is pretty absolute that he will lose some weight. I am not really worried about that. He will do fine with that. I just don't want him to get dehydrated. That itself, makes you feel yucky. It's going to be a weight and balance type of thing, but with the overall goal to NOT have to use the tube soon. Another thing is to try to make sure that he is getting a variety of food, with a variety of textures so that he doesn't become complacent with what he eats. This isn't as important with the other 2, but is very important with him. He is doing great with this though. He has really taken to guacamole. He loves most pastas, and will not turn down mac n cheese. The more fattening, the better for him. As you see, he can be quite the mess! He too is working on his walking. He is pushing things around wonderfully. I am hoping he and Lillian will be walking in the next month!
I am healing slowly but surely. I had my last md appt this week. He released me to return to work this coming Tuesday. I was getting "random" bruising, and pain in places that none of my 12 incisions were.. (yes 12, I feel like, I look like, a dartboard). I guess the mesh he had to put in to make sure that my abdominal muscles would stay together is 12 inches by 12 inches. So, I will NEVER have to worry about a hernia again I guess. So, he said the randomness is indeed not random, it is likely where the mesh is sutured along the muscle in various places. Make sense. I am hopeful I have NO more surgeries in my future! My abdominal binder and I have become great friends. I had some friends from the triplet mom group that brought food a few days last week, that was helpful. If they are reading... THANKS!
I cannot remember if I posted this earlier, but I was supposed to be slated to go to L.A..... Yes, California every other week until the end of the year for work... that fell through, so I no longer have to go... SHEW!!!! Very pleased with that news!
Todd has been quite the team captain around here lately. He has to be exhausted. He is carrying the weight of the household. (Minus my mom, his parents, and Ashley)All 3 bathes, an carrying these kids up and down, and all around wears on you. I told him once I am up and runnying he needs to go away for a boys weekend or something. Maybe a game or something soon. He's been great, and very supportive.
Halloween is coming. We have the kids costumes all ready to go. They are going to coordinate this year. We figured that it won't be long, they will have their own opinions... so we need to capitalize while we can! They will be 3 little monsters. No, that is no coincidence!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Greyson surgery went sper. His eyes are straight, and I really feel like it has helped him developmentally, his eying and motor skills have drastically improved in the past month. He is walking behind toys, and now standing up in the middle of the floor by himself... But realizes why he Has done and falls. He is eying everything that Lilly and Owen are, or attest he will try the foods. We will be thinking about weaning his feeding tube feeds more drastically soon. He is a rockstar!
Owen is cutting his molars which seems like it has taken 2 years. Poor little man has a sore mouth. We are trying to get him to talk... Instead of point and make caveman noises! He says ball randomly at times when he has it.... Progress.
Lillian is doing better with her walking. She is slowly gaining more confidence, and taking a few steps and leaning and then falls. She is doing very well... I feel like once she starts, she won't stop.
That's all for now... Will post more soon.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Todd and I had what we joked as "an epic" night with Lillian and Owen last night. Grey slept for most of the night. That made one living thing in our house that got more than an hour or two of sleep. Owen has been not sleeping well. Lillian has been getting up at 4am. Last night, Owen got up at 1am, and was awake for the majority of the night. None of the kids will lay in bed with us, and sleep... a blessing sometimes, but not last night. All we wanted to do was sleep. Everyone has a runny nose, and a bit of a miserable cold. Last night I think was THE WORSE night that we have had with the kids all home with us.
Owen is cutting all his molars, 1 already in, and also his eye teeth he is getting too. He's gonna have a mouthful soon! He also has a runny nose/stuffy at times, and wanted to be held upright. Note to self:need to purchase a recliner for bedroom STAT! So, after tylenol/ibuprofen/benadryl orajel cocktail at different times, he got intermittent sleep with Todd in bed. Let me just say, neither really slept.
Lillian had a runny nose, and didn't want to be laying down either. She is getting a molar and a front tooth. I fed her at 4am, her tummy was growling. Gave her some more ibuprofen, and 1/4 dose of benadryl.... and she and I slept sitting up on the couch from 5a-8a.
At 4a, the dogs begged to go down to the basement. A freight train could come barrelling through the house, and if you are in the basement, you wouldn't hear a thing. I think they slept a bit less than Grey.
Lilly, Owen, and I took a trip to our friendly neighborhood Urgent Care clinic for a check up. Lillian has a cold. (Thanks.... I appreciate the diagnosis) And, contrary to Owen not touching his ears, he has a pretty bad right ear infection. Antibiotics and a prescription decongestant, and hopefully (PLEASE GOD) it will be a better night!
Tomorrow I have my hernia repair surgery at IU North (Clarian North) in Carmel. Dr. Don Selzer is doing the surgery. I worked with him while working at IU Med Center in transplant and also while in the Surgical ICU there. Good doctor. Straight shooter, and skillful. I have to say that I wasn't expecting to be worried or anxious about this. It isn't even the pain or restrictions, or anything... I just have a lot to live for these days. Don't get me wrong, not that I ever did NOT have things to live for.... but my little family means so much to me, regardless of my time to time frustrations. Even though day in day out here wears a sister down, just to look at them makes me happy.
I have been through my fair share of surgeries. IVF (s), r ankle reconstruction, tonsils etc, exploratory lap for infertility stuff.. yatta, yatta...but this one is different. So, if you think about it, say some prayers for all of us!
Maybe I am just getting older. Sometimes when you have seen enough, seen a lot, seen too much in the medical profession... you realize that simple things can turn ugly. Therefore, Dr. Selzer will have specific instructions if this shall happen.
1) Don't keep me at Clarian North... send me to IU.
2) Do NOT let a resident/fellow intubate or operate on me... PERIOD (sorry... I know everyone has to learn, they aren't all bad, but learn on someone else...)
3) I need my bowels/bladder, and all internal organs... please handle them with care at all costs
4) Do not sugar coat things to me or my family... I will haunt you.
5)Keep me out of pain, or again, I will haunt you.
6) Don't shoot from the hip, if you don't know how to fix it... find someone that does. ......
Seriously, the list goes on. like....
7)If I am going to be a non-productive person forever, surgery stats don't matter... let me go (I know this is a bit harsh for an outpatient surgery.. he will laugh, but I will tell him anyway)
I'm sure Dr. Selzer will absolutely love putting me under anesthesia ASAP once we speak! Good thing Todd too has all of these instructions. I give all my medical friends out there my permission to be nosey and make sure that Todd is getting the information he needs if such disasters should arise. Can any of you tell I am a pessimist? I read this all back, and just laugh. Seriously... haha!
Anyway... 4-5 days, I will be back blogging hopefully. Like I said, send some prayers our way.. not only for me, but for Todd and the kids, and everyone helping this week to get through with relatively low stress!
I'm so dramatic these days... lack of sleep I think.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Todd made it back from his trip, he had a great time. No work trips planned anytime soon for him. Yay!
I had an appointment with the surgeon this week. What I was hoping would be an easy surgery on an outpatient basis, turned into the planning for a 4-5 day inpatient stay. Sounds like this surgery will be quite the adventure for these hernias. I have to get them done. The pain is more and more, and with the pubic symphysis bone being so close to the hernias, they can very easily get pinched and that would be an emergency. I need to talk to the scheduler this week. I think he is going to have me do another CT scan, and asked me to schedule as soon as possible to avoid any small bowel damage related to the location. Super. However, he said the recurrence rate of the hernias with the mesh placement (I need synthetic mesh placed in my abdominal wall as well) is about 10%. That is good news. I am taking it one day at a time. For some reason, I am a bit worried about this surgery. Perhaps because he said it is one of the most painful surgeries that he does. Can’t wait.
Owen is doing very well. I think he is saying “ball” now. Most of his words are “dirwwt” (which sounds like a little English accented toddler saying “dirt”). He also says “dutch”…. No idea what that is. He likes to yell when he gets outside to hear himself echo and he still thinks barking at the dogs is really fun. It seems like he has been teething for months, but he is getting his molars. He walks very well, and can out and out run at times when he doesn’t want to get caught. He is adapting to his shoes well, and when outside for wagon rides is now starting to want to walk instead to ride.
Fall is coming. I love fall. I cannot wait for frost though. Ragweed season has been overwhelming this year! We are still debating on Halloween costumes. I think I have convinced Todd to do a “themed” Halloween, since our days of being able to actually pick their costumes and coordinate them are limited. We hired a cleaning lady. Her name is Angel. It is fitting! We have to cancel our trip to Orlando for mid October. It isn’t going to work with my surgery.
The kids got their hair cut at Cookie Cutters this week. It was as painless as it could be.
Owen didn't mind the haircut, unless she touched his ear.
Lilly is concerned.