So regardless of how the beginning of the week went... the hida scan being abnormal and all... things are starting to improve with little Greybear. His bilirubin is trending down. Here is a recent pic of him. I know it drives Becca nuts when he doesn't have any clothes on, but this particular day... his little face, and jaundice just made me want to eat him! His direct bili is down to 14... and that is super that it is trending down. Now when it gets to less than one where it is supposed to be, I will be jumping for joy. Today they were able to wean his oxygen flow down. This too makes me thrilled to report!

Owen and Lilly are doing well. Owen is back on Neosure formula, and he seems to be a little more fussy at night on it. We'll see how this goes, and if it continues, back to the other formula he goes. Lilly continues her colicy evenings. We purchased a few nap nannies....(pictured to the left) and truly they seem to help with their reflux. We got a pink one, and a green one. Strap them in, and tonight Owen had his legs crossed, and propped up on the side, staring up at the ceiling fan... holding on to a rattle. He thought he was living in luxury. I think it will help with Grey as well. He is used to being on an incline.

This is now how Ms. Lillian sleeps. It has allowed us to get stretches of up to 5 hours of sleep at night. She is a houdini, in that I don't know how, but sometimes her little arm peaks out the top. Interestingly enough, she falls right to sleep when she is swaddled. We purchased some Aden and Anais swaddle blankets. They really have helped. Owen is now to the point that he doesn't even try to get out anymore. He just falls asleep. Coupled with the white noise that is on my iPod, life is usually good. (knock on wood)

Tonight I attended the moms of multiple garage sale for the northside group in Indy. As I was driving there, the leaves are changing, it's windy, getting chilly out... and I thought to myself what we were doing this time last year. We were getting ready to go to Pigeon Forge TN last year at about this time. We celebrated our anniversary there (11/9). We had many discussions on that trip. We really didn't know if we'd have our own biological children this year, or if we'd have adopted. But leaving last year, on the ride home, I said to Todd, "Well, next year, we will have a child.... biological or not; we will have a child." I realized how blessed we have been. We have 3 beautiful children. But at that same time, I think to myself what a road it has been. Not even thinking back to the infertility piece... but the NICU; Grey. I cannot allow myself to go there. I cannot allow myself to think of where we have been, and all the hurdles that we continue to jump. I cannot think of where we are... it is overwhelming. Two kids at home, that require constant attention, and one in the NICU that has my constant thoughts. Wow. But keep forging ahead is all we can do. We couldn't have done it without the help of our friends and family. For reasons listed above, I may not have done enough to show my gratitude.... but know it is sincere, and it is there. Being emotionally bankrupt doesn't really allow one to be themselves. But surely most know that. I can only hope that they know this, as it is sincere.