8 years

8 years today, Todd and I have been married.

So, 8 years…. Many laughs, many tears, many ups and downs. This year I can say that the man I married is the father of my children.

The ups and downs have been extreme at times. Before marriage, he suffered the loss of his beloved brother. A brother that whom when I first met, I knew that Todd shared an affection with him that was unique. Travis and Todd had a relationship that was like no other. I know that he thinks of Travis every day still… it’s one of the reasons I love him.

The wedding…. Oh, the wedding. It was a beautiful wedding, a rather large wedding… and I always said I wouldn’t do it again, but I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

The honeymoon, what a great time. Although, many of you know I am not fond of flying, and I begged him on the flight home from Honolulu to LA to drive from LA. He kindly told me it would be ok, and asked if I wanted my meal…. (cause he was still hungry)… and NO, we would not be driving back from California. That is also another reason I love him. He grounds me. I found that out early in marriage!

We have raised our 2 dogs. I think at one time or another he was ready to get rid of both of them… lol. And, when I was in the hospital before the triplets were born, he told me, he had found a new love for the dogs, they were his friends. They kept him company on his nights without me.

And the triplets. Infertility is not kind to a relationship. It’s was not kind to my self esteem as a woman. It was not kind to me, nor him. After 2 miscarriages that were heart wrenching, Todd always told me “It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be sad.” And sometimes that is all I needed. The decision to do IVF was different for both of us. I was willing to do what it took to have our biological children. Todd thought that there were plenty of children out there that needed help. He is very humble, and that too is why I love him.

And so 3 IVF cycles later, a correction of my thyroid, and clotting issues. We go for an ultrasound after transferring 3 embryos back…. We see 3 heartbeats. Shock came over me. Joy came over Todd. I remained apprehensive, and scared, he remained happy and so full of joy. It’s why I love him.

And… after the triplets were born. Todd was the professional isolette diaper changer. He loved to touch them. Even at 2 lbs, he wanted to touch them. He allowed me to hold them first, and spend intimate time with them and bond. Todd is the ultimate optimist. I as you may know, I am not! When Grey was sick, I mean really sick… Todd was there, even tempered, even mannered, even emotionally, even after I had fallen apart. I can’t tell you how many times we thought Grey would not pull through. Todd always stood strong, in that he would be fine, and he would end up home with Lilly and Owen. I now know, he is likely right.
I can’t really express my feelings for Todd. Even though we have our differences at times… I think it’s just the way it is. He is my partner. He is my best friend. I cannot express how happy I am to be married to him, to be the mother of his children, and to know we will spend the rest of our lives together.