We are still alive. Reinforcements are coming this week. My family is coming for a while today. My mother in law is coming tonight, and helping me to the peds md appt tomorrow. My mom is scheduled to come later in the week. I hate to say I underestimated the power of 2 preemies, but I think I did. Luckily they are still on schedule, and doing fine. Grey is doing well too. His labs look better, and he starts getting feedings tomorrow. THANK YOU GOD!
But, wow, the underestimation. Underestimation of the fatigue. You know, when I did transplant, I was up all night a lot of nights when I was on call. Still had to think on my toes, make sure that the right organ was coming for the right person, and also be able to help pick who was a good suit for the organ, or organs in many cases.... I think the difference is that even though being up all night, I had to go into work the next day and function, I could still sleep a full night that night and be back on the right track. This my friends, is constant.
I also underestimated the pull to be with Grey in the hospital, and the guilt. I tend to be a guilty person, feel guilt and responisibility for things that I shouldn't... it's hard to tell if this is the case or not.
I am glad to say though, that Todd and I can do this if need be. (Atleast just with Lilly and Owen here!!!) I've come to figure out that it isn't fun, although having a few days to realize what a long way we've come from infertility to here has been worth the sleep deprivation.... but I'm done.... bring on the help!
Grey has been getting LOTS of snuggles from his crew of Aunties. I personally held him for 1.5 hours yesterday. I teared up at first cause it was so wonderful to have him that active and healthy and that close to me. Don't worry about Grey. He will be spoiled rotten by the time he comes home.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a lot to take in at once. I know the feeling of lack of sleep, but it sure is different for each person. You can do it and you will. For some reason it just works,kind of like super human mommy powers. Hang in there Tiff. just try to enjoy this too because it goes way too fast. In two years you will stand there and ask where your little babies went! Even if I can't be with you in person I am here for you always! XOXO
ReplyDeleteIt was great to spend 5 hours with you and your family today. I can't express how much I love those babies of yours, and how amazing it was just to be able to touch them and hold them. You're such a great mom Tiffany, those kids are so lucky to have parents like you guys. Love you all very much, see you soon.
ReplyDeleteTiff - Don't feel guilty AT ALL for asking for help!!!! Trust me, if you don't you'll drive yourself insane! All 3 of ours came home within a day of each other and Chris and I were zombies for MONTHS! The schedule at the NICU is awesome to get them trained initially, but its really hard to follow one you get them home. One thing I will recommend is to get bottle holders so that you don't have to hold the bottles with them all the time. Those saved our life! Also, put little tummies in their bottles every time to keep the gas down. Preemies tend to get more gas cuz they go from the tube down their throat to bottles and they swallow a lot of air - I swear we should have had stock in Milacon and Little Tummies! LOL
ReplyDeleteYou're a great mom and you'll do awesome! Any questions - please ask! I've been there hon! You're a rockstar!
I have Grey tomorrow and I am looking forward to giving him plenty of loves! I loved up on Lilly and O today so now I can devote all of it tomorrow to Grey. Plus...remember all the times you never thought this would be a possibility?! Now instead of being up all night worrying about something that wasn't tangible, you now have 3 darling babies who you can snuggle and HOLD and can give love right back to you! :)
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